A frosh as of 2017-2018 though always a frosh to me.
Involved in building FortFroshChem.
Once hated DontWorryAboutIt. Has become DontWorryAboutIt.
Is scarily addicted to Tpumps. Please don't let him drown himself in Tpumps.
Once [pied Prof. Jacobsen] after summer math.
Organized the PomonaSignPrank
Organized the CaltechCannonPlaquePrank
Organized the CaltechMuddLabsPrank
Became East Proctor for 2020-2021, but ended up as East ResLife? Assistant for 2020 Fall Hell Semester.
My favorite FunWiki pages:
FunWiki pages I'm working on:
Here's a list of movies I recommend watching either for FridayMorningMovie / JustinsITRMovie or just cuz they're good. This first list is a list of "Must Watch" movies.
- Spaceballs - This classic 80s parody of Star Wars is literally my all-time favorite movie.
- "I knew it, I'm surrounded by assholes!"
- "Comb the desert!"
- "Yogurt, yogurt, I hate yogurt!"
- "I see your Schwartz is as big as mine."
- "She just went from suck to blow."
- Airplane! - This classic 80s comedy is actually a parody of Zero Hour!, a movie literally 0 people have ever watched.
- "And don't call me Shirley!"
- "Today was a bad day to quit smoking."
- Monty Python and the Holy Grail - This classic 70s comedy is probably the most quotable film of all time. Must see!
- "I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"
- "What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?"
- "Bring us a shrubbery!"
- Hot Shots! (1991) - If you liked 80s comedies like Airplane! then you'll love this 90s parody of Top Gun. Top Gun is a terrible movie, but it's worth watching it just so you can see Hot Shots! parody it to perfection.
- Hot Shots! Part Deux (1993) - If you liked 80s comedies like Airplane! then you'll love this 90s parody of Rambo. It's got all the shitty puns, gag comedy, and dated references of a hit comedy. Watching Rambo: First Blood is recommended but not required.
- "My skin is made of asbestos. Got that back in 'Nam"
- "Do you know what would happen if you stayed?" "Sex. Wild, hot sex. I'd pleasure you however, whenever, and for as long as you'd like."
- "I'm not saying I don't trust you, and I'm not saying I do trust you. But I don't trust you."
- Clue (1985) - Absolutely hilarious. This movie is stupid and it knows it!
- “I’m going home to sleep with my wife!”
- DodgeBall?: A True Underdog Story (2004) - Just another stupid hilarious sports-related movie. Must see!
- "If you can dodge a wrench you can dodge a ball!"
- Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994) - Jim Carrey stars in this movie featuring misogyny, homophobia, and literally every Jim Carrey meme I've ever seen.
- "Alrighty then!"
- "Like a glove."
- Blades of Glory (2007) - I don't know why I love this movie so much, but I think it's the funniest thing ever. It's about ice skating.
- This Is Spinal Tap - A movie about a British rock band and their American tour. A classic comedy that you've gotta watch.
- Hentai Kamen - This is a phenomenally funny movie that asks the question "What if Spider-Man but instead of a spider he puts on women's panties?" An East classic and an absolute MUST SEE!
- "I will use my secret move. Perverted Dance, GO!"
- *Literally has panties on his face* "I'm really just a normal person now"
- The Room - The movie that made the garbage film genre into an industry. No description necessary. You just HAVE TO watch it.
- "I did not hit her. It's not true. It's bullshit. I did not hit her. I did naht... Oh hi Mark"
- "Anyways, how is your sex life?"
- "You're tearing me apart Lisa!"
- The Disaster Artist - (Just, watch this movie after watching The Room)
- "I did not hit her. It's not true. It's bullshit. I did not hit her. I did nahht... Oh hi Mark"
- "Anyways, how is your sex life?"
- "You're tearing me apart Lisa!"
- Rubber - The story of a tire that gains sentience and goes on a murder spree with its psycho-kinetic abilities. Must see!
- The Mating Habits of the Earth Bound Human - We've all talked about describing humans in "anthropologist" language, well this movie actually does it... And it's hilarious. Must see!
- "Now that the female has endured the pain of orgasm, she's finally ready for the immense pleasure that is childbrirth."
- "He is the Sperminator, enemy to all semen.”
- David - This absolutely hilarious webseries by Nathan Fielder is only about 30 minutes, but unfortunately is no longer available on YouTube?. Luckily, all the episodes are on Vimeo and can be found here: [].
- Dora and the Lost City of Gold (2019) - Oh my god find and watch this movie right now. It was described by my friend as "wild," which is of course an incredible understatement.
- Wizard People Dear Reader - Some guy dubs over Harry Potter... And it's amazing!
- "Professor Snake is amazed she has an admirer, and Mouth Oil, amazed he's into women."
- "Valmart is your father. That other guy is your step dad. Your arch enemy, the guy who tried to slay you, the guy who slayed your mamma, is your dada. Your dad is a dracula. Harry just goes ahead and vomits all over the man horse's shoes. Tears mix in with the sobby throw-up. And Haggar offers to call detention off early, under the circumstances."
- "Dumbledore laments that another year has passed and he's even closer to his end."
- "Huffer Puffer has 420 points, and that's pretty good for the remedial class that they are."
- "Harmony feels like she could cry out a second self of tears so that she could have someone to hug."
- "Ronnie the Bear, Ronnie the Weasel. You are bravery, you are courage, you are chess!"
- Sonic Adventures 2 Fan Dub - ***Insert link here***
- "Diamonds aren't green dick nips"
- "I'm gonna piss in a Hot Topic"
- "I fucked your wife Eggman"
- "I was cucked by a hedgehog"
- "Who posted my nudes on Twitter dot com?!"
- Rat Race - Some Vegas billionaires spend a couple million dollars to watch 6 random people race across the desert. Most important part was when a Jewish guy accidentally becomes Hitler. Very funny.
- Face/Off? (1997) - This is my favorite Nick Cage movie, wherein Nick Cage does his best John Travolta impression and John Travolta does his best Nick Cage impression... They both suck at impressions. Must see!
- "I'm going to take his face... OFF! FACE... OFFFFF!!!
This second list is all Scooby-Doo movies. I recommend seeing all of them, especially the live actions. (See also, DavidMindlin)
- Scooby Doo: The Cyber Chase - Hacking! Computers! Scary viruses! This movie has got all the cringy early-2000s technobabble! Very enjoyable.
- Scooby Doo: Wrestlemania - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQI4ff_B9Kk. Nuff said. This is my favorite animated Scooby movie
- Scooby Doo and Kiss: A Rock and Roll Mystery - in a Scooby Doo movie unlike any other, the rock band Kiss join up with the Scooby gang to solve the mystery of the Crimson Witch. My second favorite animated Scooby movie.
- Scooby-Doo! Legend of the Phantosaur - Shaggy, he fucks. Great movie!
- Scooby Doo: The Mystery Begins - Tied for 1st among the best live-action Scooby Doo adaptations.
- Scooby-Doo (2002) - Tied for 1st among the best live-action Scooby Doo adaptations.
- Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (2004) - Tied for 1st among the best live-action Scooby Doo adaptations.
- Scooby-Doo and the Curse of the Lake Monster - Tied for 1st among the best live-action Scooby Doo adaptations.
This is a list of Neil Breen movies. They're good for when you want to see something absurd with a bit of a slow plot.
- Double Down
- I am Here.... Now - Neil Breen IS robot Jesus. Very funny.
- Fateful Findings - Very slow, even for a Breen movie. But you do get to see his laptop breaking kink in full display. It's worth it for the last 5 minutes of the movie (CW: suicide).
- Pass Thru
- Twisted Pair - After 5 movies, Neil Breen finally upgraded from iMovie to Final Cut Pro... and the result is somehow even worse movies :P If you like bad CGI, this is the movie for you (CW: sexual assault).
This last list is a list of movies I recommend watching, but aren't necessarily the most important films you'll ever see:
- Dead Right - One of Edgar Wright's first films. What it lacks in visual effects it makes up for with a lack of visual effects. Really enjoyable.
- Ping Pong Playa - This movie is surprisingly funny. An Asian man learns to love his son because he plays Ping Pong and doesn't want to be black anymore.
- Jumanji (1995) - Robin Williams is amazing.
- Jumanji (2017) - Actually, a pretty funny movie that pays its respects to the original.
- Jumanji (2019) - I never thought I would say this, but this sequel is actually as good as the previous one! Strongly recommend watching them both.
- Zathura: A Space Adventure - Did you like Jumanji? Then you'll LOVE Jumanji (*deep, echoing voice*) iiiiin Spaaaaaace.
- God's not Dead 3: A Light in the Darkness - Come watch as a pastor brings a college community together and converts everyone to Christianity after his church gets fire-bombed. Yep.
- Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter (2001) - Jesus Christ returns as a martial arts specialist to... ummm... save the lesbians from vampires? It's basically a mediocre parody of a church basement movie, so if you enjoyed God's Not Dead 3 you'll like this too.
- (*Vampire steps out of car*) "Where are all the lesbians?"
- "If I'm not back in 5 minutes call the Pope."
- Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over - Return to one of your favorite childhood movies and discover the heart-warming message that a young boy fell in love with a fake woman, and that his real love was for his sister the whole time.
- Avalon High - A kid with an already inflated ego turns out to literally be the reincarnation of King Arthur. Take that modesty!
- Sky High - A guy has a hard-on so hard he almost causes mass extinction by causing an asteroid the size of a high school to fall out of the sky.
- Stardust (2007) - In this classic 2000s comedy, there's a whole bunch of plot that happens, but the only reason to care about the movie is because the pirate is gay. Great movie.
- "Don't worry captain. We always knew you were a whoopsie."
- Ella Enchanted (2004) - This 2000s movie really tries to explore a lot of themes: social justice, racism, sexism, the military-industrial complex, slavery, genocide, consent, systematic oppression, land grabs, working conditions, and labor laws, among others. It stars Anne Hathaway so what's not to love?
- "I'm not like other girls."
- "Kiss me... I mean, only if you want to. That's not an order."
- Dame Olga: "I want to look 25 at tonight's ball. What do you suggest?". Mandy: "A time machine?". Doctor: "We have a mix of bat feces and ox blood. We call it Batox."
- Ella: "You know, prince Char and his uncle are responsible for the segregation of the kingdom." Hattie: "Who cares? He's dreamy."
- Lemonade Mouth (2011) - This film had a Disney-level budget, but a direct-to-TV-level quality. If you're like me and you like being an adult that laughs at kids movies you'll enjoy Lemonade Mouth. And the music's pretty good too.
- "Determinate! Determinate!"
- "All I see is a blob. Sometimes I think I'm too stupid to be in my family."
- Freaky Friday (1976) - The OJ movie adaptation about a mother and daughter switching bodies to find out what it's like to literally walk in the other's shoes. It opens with a song that literally gives away the whole movie, and basically concludes that life sucks for both young women and adult women because men. They don't even grow closer at the end, they just agree it's all men's fault (which it is). This movie has Jodie Foster as a 12-year-old and among the Freaky Friday movies its problem is misogyny.
- Kid: "Mommy, what's a male chauvinst pig?" Sister as mom: "That's what your father is."
- "Why don't you try hating her back?" "I tried, but you can't hate someone and love them at the same time."
- Freaky Friday (2003) - This Lindsay Lohan classic about a mother and daughter switching bodies to find out what it's like to literally walk in the other's shoes. Except in this one the mom's a shrink and that just makes everything worse. Of the three Freaky Friday movies its problem is racism.
- "Privacy is a privilege, not a right."
- "She used some kind of Asian Voodoo magic on us."
- "I've been reading this new book lately and it makes me feel really depressed." "And how do you feel about that?" "... Depressed"
- Freaky Friday (2018) - So Disney was like "how can we take this franchise, capitalize on it more, and make it worse?" and they came up with... a musical. There aren't any really iconic lines, but the music and lyrics... I'll just say this: Take a shot every time the lip sync is clearly really off. Of the three Freaky Friday movies, this one's problem is that it's a musical.
- Maleficent: Mistress of Evil (2019) - The second installment in the live-action Maleficent franchise. The first one was good. In this one, the whole movie is basically copy-and-pasted from other, better movies: The Lion King, the music from Moana, themes from Stardust and Ella Enchanted, the visual effects from Avengers: Infinity War, and the plot from literally any movie you've ever seen. Stick around until the end for an end credits song that literally sounded like they gave someone half an hour to write it.
- Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius (2001) - A solid combination of nostalgia and actually kinda funny jokes, this movie is pretty enjoyable to watch these days.
- Twins - Arnold Schwarzenegger is the perfect specimen of a man, with 6 dads, adept at art, science, and martial arts, and god is he ripped. But his brother... well his brother is Danny DeVito?. Hilarity ensues.
- Animal Farm (1999) - The live action Animal Farm movie, complete with animatronic pigs and the worst CGI mouse to ever grace movie screens anywhere.
- The Mummy (1999) and TheMummyReturns - Both entertaining films. Definitely must be watched after midnight to be enjoyed. Also, scorpion Dwayne The Rock Johnson.
- Looney Tunes: Back in Action (2003) - This movie is just really dumb and funny. It makes great references to some classics, like Psycho, Independence Day, Austin Powers, etc. A good watch.
- Sonic The Hedgehog (2020) - This movie was originally gonna be really bad, but fans complained so effectively that the big studio execs went back and redid all the animation! It's really good and I recommend it strongly.
- (Said very angrily): "What do you think I am? An imbecile?! Of course I want a latte, I love the way you make them!"
- Tenacious D - Jack Black.
- Troll 2 - A little bit gross and gory, but great for a laugh. There is no Troll 1.
- "They're eating her. And they'll eat me. Oh my goooooooooooooooooooooooood" []
- Kingsman: The Secret Service (2014) - This movie features Samuel L. Jackson, phenomenal British accents and posh, and some of the best action sequences in any action/comedy. If you liked James Bond growing up, you’ll love this comedic take on the classic spy movie.
- If you save the world, we can do it in the asshole?
- You Don't Mess with the Zohan - The only Adam Sandler movie I can watch, this film is actually a really funny, though albeit un-nuanced, look at Israeli-Palestinian relations.
- "*sobbing* I just want to make people silky smooth"
- "I'm half Australian, half Mt. Everest"
- "No, no, no, I feel no pain!"
- The Hebrew Hammer - Holy crap you have to watch this movie. This was a movie made BY Jews and was sued by the Anti-Defamation League for being anti-semitic... and it's also really racist. Must see!
- Die Hard - The best Christmas movie ever made.
- RRRrrrr!!! - This movie is in French and it's about Stone Age humans investigating the first murders in human history... and also there's a war over shampoo. So yeah see if you can find it somewhere!
- Dead Poet's Society - Robin Williams is amazing.
- Aladdin (1992) - My favorite Disney movie. Again, Robin Williams is amazing.
- The Italian Job (1969 and 2003) - Both good movies. If you like heist films, watch them both.
- Ocean's 11 - Quite a good funny movie. Don't watch Ocean's 12 or 13, they're just not good.
- Ocean's 8 - Excellent film. I recommend watching it after Ocean's 11, though I thought it was better than 11.
- Now You See Me - A pretty creative and fun movie about magicians scamming an insurance company. Pretty funny and creative. Don't watch the second one.
- What We Do in the Shadows - Taika Waititi's hilarious mockumentary about vampires in Australia. Strongly recommend.
- Sharknado (2013) - This movie is pretty entertaining actually. They had a budget of like $20 and the CGI is terrible, but I actually recommend it.
- Sharknado 2: The Second One (2014) - The better sequel to the first movie. The plot is still ridiculous, but the budget is a little higher and the CGI is somehow worse.
- Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! (2015) - The last Sharknado movie that's really worth watching. They go into space or some shit I don't know these movies get harder and harder to follow.
Finally, this is a list of movies that you may be tempted to watch, but are ultimately kinda disappointing. I don't recommend wasting your time with these.
- Cats (2019) - This movie was not fun to watch. Find a video on how bad it was, but don't actually watch it.
- Left Behind (2014) - This Nick Cage movie seems pretty good on paper - Nicholas Cage during the rapture; sounds perfect, right? - but it's actually really boring after the first 10 minutes with the exception of [[the rapture scene itself]].
- Gamer: Unleash Him (2009) - This movie is not good. It's literally called "Gamer: Unleash Him," but it's extremely disturbing and not a fun movie to see. Don't
- Captain America (1979) - They just didn't know how to make movies yet, so this movie is pretty boring. Although, they did use a salad bowl for his shield so that was funny.
- Sharknado 4: The Fourth Awakens (2016) - Despite the title, this movie isn't a Star Wars parody. It only makes like 3 or 4 references to Star Wars. The humor got worse in this one. Not recommended.
- Sharknado 5: Global Swarming (2017) - Despite the title, this movie isn't about global warming. It's actually not very entertaining at all anymore. Not recommended.
- The Last Sharknado: It's About Time (2018) - This movie continued the downward trend of the franchise. They go back in time to end all sharknadoes forever, but it ends up just getting weird. Not recommended.
Movies that have been recommended to me but I haven’t seen yet:
- The Amazing Bulk
- Seven brides for seven brothers
- Paint your wagons
- Kevin and Perry Go Large (If you want any chance of finishing this movie, make sure that everyone in the room is very stoned throughout the entire 1h 23m runtime. -Josh)
- Turkey Hollow
- Killer Bean
- Mystery Men
- Surf's Up!
- Yes God Yes
- Cinderella 3
- In Search of a Flat Earth
- The Spaghetti Incident