A most energetic "prof" who teaches "American Literature During the Cold War" - which really has nothing to do with the Cold War. Is moving to the East coast(New York) sometime this spring. He doesn't often stay on topic, instead often telling amusing stories from his past (Which isn't, as some might think, a bad thing). Could have been the most awesome
Hum2 prof ever, but decided that he would indeed be moving instead. When you're done reading the quotes, remember to check out the
NewReality.
- If you call him Professor Geaghan he gets annoyed and tells you that no one calls him "Professor Geaghan" at home. He is Tim, or even Timmy...
- Sadly, he moved to New York and will not be teaching Hum2, or even Hum1 anymore, in the near future. Everyone who was weirded out by his quotes will miss him, though.
- This page needs more organization, so I've divided up the quotes by the days during which they were created. You'll note that some days are definitely better than others. --MarissaQuitt
Amusing quotes:
- It's like an elephant on speed! (in reference to a trumpet solo in a jazz piece)
- NO BLIMP! NO BLIMP! NO BLIMP!
- Don't forget your liver!
- If your brain is leaking out your ear we need to fix it before we put a band-aid on your knee!
- I'm Ahab - we're getting the whale! Wait... that didn't work. (in reference to not failing class)
- ...makes it seem as obvious as wearing pants. Or maybe breathing - not everyone wears pants, after all.
- Take me now, Man Meat!
- We're all Humberts.
- Welcome to... The NewReality!
- I don't want to be sad... so sad...
- Just screw all your other classes and let's go!
- Just pretend to be inspired.
- I'll bring in the pom-poms and the soda pop. Ra ra ra!
- I hate the letter "d" today.
- Humbert would be all about Peter Pan.
- Proof that both Geaghan and Humbert Humbert are sick, sick people.
- I'm like a fresh baked superpretzel!
- Everyone, put on your rabbit ears!
- I'm wearing a lavender t-shirt today. How exciting is that? (not being sarcastic)
- Did you just say "give him a wedgie?" Will do.
- Is it just that I'm too ogre-ish?
- He goes back and forth between his anal and genital zones.
- This was an exact quote. I was impressed. And frightened. --Marissa
- Yeah, but that's also pretty much what was written in Lolita. Not quite as scary then. At least in my opinion --Ali
- Everything is like MARSHMELLOWS, MARSHMELLOWS, MARSHMELLOWS is phase two... though cotton candy would work, too.
- Pure Geaghan with this one.
- It's like when marshmellows come home to roost.
- ... so then the marshmellows are released to do their fluffy goodness elsewhere.
- This was a marshmellow-themed class, evidently.
- It's like writing about someone's left nostril. (In reference to the book Lolita)
- Somebody, please take a rototiller to my shit.
- We have now determined reading is important.
- Ah... So Phase 2 of your plan is complete! --Marissa
- That's first, and then later. (not referring to anything)
- And he corrects our grammar?
- Do you give out good candy? I like candy.
- Of course it makes sense - just on a level where glass is not blown and wood is not made of trees.
- Read anything anybody ever told you was depressing or horrible.
- (whining about Trick-Or-Drink) I don't want to throw back a beer!
- (immediately afterward) We're not going to do any shots?
- Want to know me (sic) dirty little secret? I was offered a job as a Hum2 professor!
- What was I saying? Wait... what was I saying?
- I would want to teach quantum literature.
- I want to take everything you learned in high school and <makes loud bomb noise> set it on fire.
- I'm going to make this class fun! I'll just lie down and cry now.
- If you follow my directions you'll end up on Venus.
- The only sentences they exchange are completely WOOMP!
- Anything that will be is was again.
- The British are cute. They all have bad teeth, though. And the French.
- I'm not an asshole. I'm a poet!
- That's more reasonable than the clock eating the water, but I'm not sure.
- A quote from a student: "It's like a whole bunch of monkeys...with...monkey wrenches!"
- (in response to "where did you find your water?") It was underneath a crocodile. I had to fight 'im for it.
- Crocodiles. Alligators. Both. They've both got teeth.
- Here's Mexico. Here's a sombrero. Hey, that's a great sombrero!
- I'm the bull goose loony! I'm the most dangerous right now.
- No, you don't need my shoe. It's a shoe.
- I am a terrorist of freedom. This is a sleeper cell of freedom, folks!
- Oh shit, that's going on the Wiki page, isn't it?
- It is all in the big chess board of time
- Physics is the poetry of the earth
- Bach was Einstein. Done.
- there was a whole lot more, but I can't write nearly fast enough. But the gist was physics=poetry=symphonies --Ali
- No! No? No! No? No! No.
- No 'phibians!
- I'm not going to slap Maria. Maria's my buddy. Well, she's not now, but later she is.
- Today is sponsored by the word "yes."
- When tomorrow is Wednesday we'll go to the library tomorrow.
- Your ass-barf is due on Friday.
- You're going to produce Ass-Barf: The Sequel and Ass-Barf Returns.
- I can't do nothing without my Bugle of Justice!
- Whoa, that is and oar!
- Hang on, I'm almost about to do something dumb.
- Help me! I'm not making any sense.
- Hey! Adrian's teaching the class! Yay! I get my money for nothing and the chicks for free.
- Now they're [the big stack of revisions to be returned] balancing on top of a vase. Everything is safe.
- actually, they were. But seriously. Big stack of papers. Ontop of a vase. With a skinny neck. Sound safe?
- Geaghan: I was tempted to abbreviate annotated bibliography as ass-barf.
Student: How do you get ass-barf out of annotated bibliography?
Geaghan: Have you ever written an annotated bibliography?! Go write it and then come ask!
- This is not a tangent. It is all part of the greater understanding of infinity.
- American Literature During The Cold War aka: I Like Books! Hooray!
- (singing and orchestrating with his hands) Everybody, let's get stoned!
- We can have doilies and tea cakes--oh, no! I forgot the tea party!
- McMurphy? can be talked about without lacing up your corset too tight.
- He may be an asshole, but he's a very lovable asshole. Or he's an obnoxious, charming jackass.
- Getting mad takes too much effort, when we have all these great pills!
- What are we going to do? I say we put on our Superman capes!
- You can go from a giant barbell to a nice little horseshoe.
- You've got to crawl on the walls. You have to get all Spiderman.
- That was a close one Batman.
- Apparently today was superhero day...superman, spiderman and batman all in one period
- I got a haircut and a computer and everything. I'm a 21 century man!
- We have a new admission on the ward. His name is Martin Luther King Jr.
- I hear stairs!
- Martin Luther King would totally not kick my ass. He's a pacifist!
- I can go from step 1 to step 12 to step 5 and over there is a moose and over here is an antelope.
- Talking about writing don't mean shit.
- He apparently got into something of an argument with the rest of the hum profs who claimed that talking about writing in general would help us become better at writing. He claims that it does no good unless we talk about our writing...I am inclined to agree with his assessment.
- It goes way beyond being the man or woman - It's about being what you want to do.
- You can deep clean in forward and reverse. I know you can.
- It was like having all your body parts on the outside. It was nice.
- Heehee! I said "wang-dang-doodle!"
- I am a bitch, a tool of the Combine.
- Jesus is a good storyteller!
- Yay! We can get sand in our bathing suits!
- Political science is like other people's children--I love watching them, as long as I can go home afterwards.
- I've been called Duke, Chancellor, Commander... I like Commander. Commander Timmy!
- I'm the double agent of learning!
- The muffin man lives on John Wayne.
- Maybe I'll come back on Mayday and suprise you. I'll have an apple on each shoulder and birds!
- If I can wing ding doodle it we'll get vans.
- I'm throwing the big ones. I'm throwing the turkeys at you today
- We're ask'n the big questions, me and Shawn. yeeaaahhhh. We're guards.
- As long as you all can put on your Superman capes and fly away it don't mean nothing.
- Ask me about Gwar. Class: What's Gwar? If you have to ask me about Gwar, it's no use telling you.
- ...terror of romaine leaves, garlicker of lasagna...
- I have absolutely no clue what he was talking about -- Ali
- Meet Mr. Frying Pan! Hey, look, your head is a gong, right? BWOOONG! Let's light it on fire!
- This was in response to the large amount of work we have over the next two weeks, note that he was only pretending to be holding up a frying pan
This quote isn't the funniest in the world, though it is sometimes amusing. I just thought it ought to be included, because if anything describes who Geaghan is and what he is trying to do with this class. I know it's long, but it should be read. Be patient, and stick through it to the end. I just wanted to point out that he tries so hard to help us hear his message, tries to make us hear each other
. So here's a tribute to that. -MarissaQuitt
- This class was not called or about "FIght the Man," so please don't present it that way. Let me be clear: I don't think that's what you think--what I'm trying to point out is that this is what your introduction leads one to believe. As for the Cold War--you DID learn plenty about what it would be like to be alive in this time period, and many of you understood yourselves through it. IN this way you gained knowledge, the biggest chunk being that history isn't dead facts numbers and empty names of people but a living breathing part of who you now are, just like who you are is who you've been (you're not eleven years old you're ten nine eight seven six five four years old, too)--there's no difference in your identity and historical truth and a book's "message" (cf. your physics class zen buddhism and allen ginsberg's pee-pee). In this way, I hope, not only do YOU make more sense but everything around you as well, and I also hope you realize that there is nothing "back there" or "back then" or "in those days." There's now because of then, and everything will be is was again. History isn't what you thought it was, and books have heartbeats and fairy wings, too. That's the most I can offer, the possibility of projection on your planetarium, a gray flannel costume to get past the bone barriers of the brain. come talk to me if you want more. -Tim
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