It was a quiet sunny morning at Harvey Mudd when suddenly the Libra Complex began to tremble. “Mwahahaha!!!” cried the evil Dr. STEMs from atop Sprague Hall. “I shall do what even nuclear bombs failed to accomplish with my earth oscillations!” The professors cried out in fear as the Libra complex began to shake. “Evacuate the Libra complex now” Professor Gokli warned, “Dr. STEMs can create sinusoidal forces that can make even the best engineered buildings collapse” “NO! My research is in there!” Cried Prof Dodds! “I’m truly sorry Dodds.” Said Dr. STEMs with an evil grin “But your research will be destroyed in exchange for furthering my signals research!!!” “That’s a lie and you know it!” yelled a voice, belonging to Professor Esin. “Your ‘experiment’ here isn’t just unethical - you’re not collecting data properly! No wonder you failed Frosh Lab!” Dr. STEMs’s evil grin turned into an evil frown “Whatever you say Professor, but I will get - RESULTS.” As he said the last word, he struck Sprague with his oscillator, and a giant wave of concrete traveled down seven stories of the building until… It dissipated. “What?! What happened?!” yelled Dr. STEMs. “According to my calculations,” said Sparks “the amount of stress placed on Sprague should have been enough to fracture the entire Libra Complex!” “See that would’ve been true if the particles actually had some sort of net force,” retorted a booming singer’s voice. “Too bad Earthbending canceled your destruction wave, Doctor.” “Mama! Who’s the curly haired guy?” “That’s Ben Lehman” Said Prof Connolly to her daughter with a smile. “And he’s here to stop Dr. STEMS.”

Dr. STEMS had become even angrier with this turn of events. “Nova, give me an analysis!” Ben’s headset spoke back into his ear “Dr. STEMS can create waves out of any and all particles, there is no environment in which you have an advantage over him, but you should be able to overpower simply with earth attacks” “Roger,” “Ok Dr. Noobface, here I come!” Ben rode a giant block of concrete up Sprague, blocking every wave Dr. STEMS sent down at him. Seemingly afraid, Dr. STEMS backed up, but Ben bridged the gap with a leap. He grabbed the doctor by the collar, and prepared to punch Dr. STEMS. However, the Doctor smiled, and then his eyes widened with a flash of light, temporarily blinding Benjamin. “GAH MY EYES” cried the earth bender as he fell to the ground weeping. “Hahaha! You are the definition of naïve, charging at me like that, no wonder Mildred’s spirit made you the new ‘benfrosh’. Although in a sense, you’re quite sophomori-” Dr. STEMS’s monolouging was interrupted by a concrete block to the back of the head. “H-how…” Dr. STEMS gasped as his body was swallowed by concrete. “A good earthbender learns to see with the earth.” Ben Said, referring to a certain blind bandit “But I guess you wouldn’t know that, being a fuckboy” Dr. STEMS’s bewildered expression became a grin. “Thanks for that info.” Dr. STEMs broke from his earth prison using wave powers, and began levitating beside Sprague. “I’m an idiot” said Ben, who quickly dug himself into the building and shielded himself from Dr. STEMs’s wind waves. “You can’t hold on forever BenFroshSquared!” Cried the Doctor. Ben knew he was right, and soon enough, Ben was blown off of Sprague, falling towards the windows of Olin. “I gotcha,” said a man flying through the air on a Jet pack, as he caught Ben in his free-fall “Jacob!” Ben sighed, “What took you so long?” “I figured you’d prevent loss of life while I got my pneumatics pumped up. Too bad you can’t see” “This is probably temporary, so I'll deal” Ben grinned, “but can you put me down?" "Thought you’d never ask!” Ben landed, and Jacob flew towards Dr. STEMS, who was also flying.

Dr. STEMs was getting even more frustrated “You want an air battle? I’ll give you an air battle” Dr. STEMs fired rounds of air pulses at Jacob, but Jacob’s pneumatic panpipe blowgun was able to block every single wave. Jacob even blocked the flashes of light with his suit’s pop-out sunglasses. Jacob soon went on the offensive, pulling out his flamethrower, which had Dr. STEMS on the run. Soon Jacob was close enough for a grapple that pinned Dr. STEMS against Parsons. “Lehman, Now” he yelled. Though Ben followed up, he was too late, because Dr. STEMS had lifted off the ground and pushed Jacob towards the fountain. “Oh no.” Jacob Said under his breath. “If you die in Parsons...” replied Dr. STEMs. As they entered Galileo Foyer, a fist appeared from the fragments of sand, and Clocked Dr. STEMs in the face. The fist coalesced into an entire upper body “Nice Save Quentin! Glad my circuits are still intact” “Don’t thank me, you’d do the same.” Quentin said. “Accept the compliment bro.” Ben slid into the Galileo Foyer “Where’s your lower half?” Quentin replied: “Gathering soil.” Ben grinned, but Nova began yelling in his ear. “GET OUT OF HERE! OSCILLATION CHA-” her last words were cut off by broken glass when air, light, water, and earth began pulsing beyond the control of our heroes. Dr. STEMs was once again donning his evil grin “in this contained space I am INVINCIBLE!!! In the words of Admiral Akbar, IT’S A TRAP. Now… die.” Before Dr. STEMs was able to unleash his final blow, a Quenyan song was sung inside the minds of everyone at HMC, and then it whispered “niquë.” The barrage of waves ended as quickly as it had begun, and Dr. STEMs fell to his knees with his hands on his head. Ben could feel his friend nearby “Liam’s finally here!”

Liam’s voice echoed in the Doctor’s mind “your name is… Korach! How fitting” “How do you know my name?” Liam’s voice echoed in his mind: “That doesn’t matter, what matters is that you can still stop this; I ORDER you to stop.”

Dr. STEMs was struck by the concrete beneath him, and flung onto the outdoor classroom of the Shanahan. Quentin carried Liam to the top of the SHAN, and Jacob carrying Ben followed. They landed south Dr. STEMs’s limp body “How was that for a taste of Team Timesuck?” Ben’s voice boomed. “you’re lucky you don’t have to pay for the electronics you almost broke; those took a while” muttered Jacob. “This is not an effective way to deal with stress” Said Quentin, “I’ll say it out loud this time. You have to stop this.” “Okay…” Korach grinned, and dove into the center of the Shanahan “And that's why I'm gon' take a” Dr. STEMs sung aloud with the power of forced oscillation within the contained walls of the Shanahan: “Good girl! I know you want it I know you want it I know you want it You're a good girl Can't let it get past me You're far from plastic Talk about getting blasted I hate these blurred lines” Team Timesuck’s ears bled at the sound of the abomination. It was as though ten thousand banshees gathered together to chant the anthem of the patriarchy in the inferno of broken glass the Shanahan had become. When Dr. STEMs was done, the whole team had lost their hearing indefinetely. As the rest of Team Timesuck wailed on the ground, Liam sung a song he couldn’t hear to establish a psionic connection with Dr. STEMs one more time “Korach you wretched...” the villain flew towards Liam’s face and smiled, mentally replying “You’ve made me quite angry, so I will destroy what is precious to all of you. When I’m done, I’ll make sure all of you can see Mildred!” Dr. STEMs flew off, and Liam began to close his eyes. Quentin wouldn’t have this. He slapped Liam, Ben, and Jacob, in the face and gave them a look that could only mean one thing. Liam took a deep breath in then breathed out with conviction. Liam began a mental conversation. “Quentin” said Liam “is the bEAST ready?” Team Timesuck’s faces lit up. “Yes! I’ve gathered enough dust” he replied. “Jacob is pilot?” “Of course!” replied the mechanist, “Ben you ready to move a mountain?” Ben was fangirling over himself already “Who do you think I am? Liam, hook us up.” Liam nodded, “It’s suckin’ time!” the group gathered together in a circle and closed their eyes.

“Get the prefrosh and freshmen to Klawe House!” shouted Ian. “It’s no use,” said Caitlin, “look!” Dr. STEMs flew around the dorm, creating large blockades from the earth he dug up. Furthermore, the shocks forced everyone into the courtyard. “Proctor Caitlin? What do we do?” asked a crying frosh boy. “I know what you do!” Shouted Dr. STEMs as he floated above the bushes North of the Courtyard “give me the key to EDC, or I will break it myself” “And why would you want that?” Asked Proctor Caitlin. Dr. STEMs showed some teeth. “Well let’s just say I have some business with the founder’s wife!” “YOU WILL NEVER DESTROY THE SPIRIT OF MILDRED, FUCKBOY SCUM!!!” shouted Aaron Stringer. An unamused Dr. STEMs blasted an air wave at Aaron, knocking him against the bike racks. “Caitlin… unless you want me to destroy this building, and have everyone to end up dead, I suggest you give me the key.” Proctor Caitlin looked back at a bruised and bleeding Aaron, then back at Dr. STEMs. With a sigh, she said “Paige, take out the key.” “BUT!” “do it!” Dr. STEMs smiled faintly, dropped to the ground, and walked towards Paige, who was holding out the key. As Dr. STEMs reached for it, Paige’s disheveled eyes widened with aggression, and used the key to stab Dr. STEMs in the eye.

“GAH” he shouted, and recoiled back to the grass. Ian was worried “Paige, what have you done!” “I love east culture,” she replied. “I care about this dorm. I know that the people who live here care about it too! We do fun things together, we get each other through April, and we spend our Saturday evenings barbequing, darn it. If you kill Mildred’s spirit, you kill ours.” Dr. STEMs was annoyed by this statement. “You’re a FOOL!!! WE ALL DIE SOONER OR LATER! And when you die, people will mourn you for 3 years, maximum! Then you will be forgotten. And this place will mean nothing to you.” “So what?” retorted Caitlyn “We only get four years here, but that’s part of what makes it special.” She looked back at a cluster of frosh “And you leave knowing that the next generation will carry your torch.” This hit a nerve with Dr. STEMs.

“Don’t worry, Korach! We’ll always remember you as the man who started the fires!” “Even when all of us are gone, new westies will always build fires in your honor”

“ENOUGH, I WILL BREAK DOWN THIS WHOLE BUILDING MYSELF.” Dr. STEMs struck the ground with a resounding blow, but nothing happened. He tried again, still nothing happened. Dr. STEMs was then hit by a pillar of grass raising from the ground. From the North, a large rumble was heard. As Dr. STEMs stabilized above Harvey Mudd College, he watched in horror as Mt Baldy transformed into a giant earthen Stumpy. The behemoth leaned forwards, and shot a rocket out of its butt, propelling it towards Dr. STEMs. Dr. STEMs shot a blinding light at the stumpy. It did not falter, and bulleted right towards him. Terrified, Dr. STEMs attempted to flee to the Ocean, but the giant earthen cuddly monkey was too fast, and grabbed Dr. STEMs with his long, fluffy arm. “Doctor!” Said stumpy in Ben’s voice “I brought you a present – it might remind you of Pitzer a little bit.” Stumpy threw Dr. STEMs into an impenetrable ball of Cactus. In Quentin’s voice, Stumpy yelled “SEAL”, the cactus tightened around Dr. STEMs “If you make a move, the cactus does too.” After the first few times, Dr. STEMs stopped struggling.

“WHOOOO! TEAM TIMESUCK WINS AGAIN!!!!” shouted Ben “wait… I can see! I can hear!!!” Liam was not amused “Sadly, so can we. Quentin, what happens to Dr. STEMs now?” “Well, he’s definitely drinking cactus cooler for the rest of his life…” QB thought for a second, then grinned widely “and he’ll see dean Q on a regular basis!” Jacob chuckled and thought about this “Yea… That… will be interesting.” “And he needs it” said Liam “That guy had some serious baggage attached to this place... I couldn’t tell what.” “Yea... now that I think about it, I do hope STEMs will be better by next year.” Ben replied. Jacob picked up: “Alright! Porn and Tacos anyone?” “uhh, we have to put something back first…” Quentin said pointing to the giant hole where mount Baldy used to be. Liam, Ben and Jacob simultaneously looked at the mountain, and muttered “right.”

FunWiki | RecentChanges | Preferences
Edit text of this page | View other revisions
Last edited April 26, 2016 23:50 (diff)