[Home]History of GroupStoryTwo


Revision 98 . . (edit) July 31, 2004 2:51 by dhcp-80c46a8c.la-aldea.arizona.edu
  

Difference (from prior major revision) (minor diff)

Changed: 1c1
Add, change, edit.... i don't care. This story should be a living embodiment of entropy.
Summary: What began as a living embodiment of entropy has, over the course of four years, become a touching story of a Purple Hypotenuse, a legion of Llamma Lancers, and the Functions of the Banana Nebula (and some main characters, but we'll get to them later). Keep adding to it!

Changed: 21c21
Once upon a time there was a purple hypotenuse. He was part of a bizarre equilateral love triangle with two twin sisters.
Once upon a time there was a Purple Hypotenuse. He was part of a bizarre equilateral love triangle with two twin sisters. The Purple Hypotenuse was the alpha and the omega of the universe as we know it, but his presence was as invisible and mysterious as the logic of the Hum Department. Through the whims of his EvilPlan, the Hypotenuse controlled all. You are part of his EvilPlan. I am part of his EvilPlan. Even BobDole is part of his EvilPlan (although, given the liberal nature of most of our likely readership, this may not surprise many of you). At the center of his EvilPlan is our hapless hero Sam, who has just taken on an unusual job.

Changed: 27c27
"I hate it when that happens," thought Sam. "Gotta lay off the crack rock."
"I hate it when that happens," thought Sam. "Gotta lay off the Crack Rock."

Changed: 29c29
It turned out that a good friend of the crack rock was walking past. He heard this and immediately ran home to call his friend.
It turned out that a good friend of Crack Rock, Yobananboy the Monkey, was walking past. He heard this and immediately ran home to call his friend.

Changed: 33c33
"What is it Yobananaboy!" replied the crack rock.
"What is it Yobananaboy!" replied Crack Rock.

Changed: 35c35
"I just overheard Sam saying that he's goingto fire you for that pickle incident!"
"I just overheard Sam saying that he's going to fire you for that pickle incident!"

Changed: 39,40c39,43
At this point, the Continuity Fairy jumped into the story.
She said, "I will grant you a wish if you promise to bring continuity to this story,"
As Crack Rock pondered the implications of losing his job to sentient vegetables, the Continuity Fairy jumped into the story. She said, "Greetings, Crack Rock. You may not know it yet, but your purpose is much greater than you know."

"I didn't know that."

"Right. And that is why I have come to help you. I will grant you a wish if you promise to bring continuity to this story,"

Changed: 60c63
With the continuity fairy gone, the Mongol Hordes began to advance across the great steppe separating East from the colonies.
With the continuity fairy gone, the universe turned in on itself, and nonsequitors and bad math puns ran amuck across all the lands. Mongol Hordes began to advance across the great steppe separating East from the colonies.

Changed: 86c89
"That I am. But only by mistake. You see, I committed a grievous offence against the Gods of Narrative Convention. To expiate my sin, I must spend all of eternity working for them. I need your help with the task they have set me."
"That I am. But only by mistake. You see, I committed a grievous offence against the Gods of Narrative Convention creating the chaos that you see before you. To expiate my sin, I must spend all of eternity working for them. I need your help with the task they have set me."

Changed: 88c91
"Wait a minute," said Sam. "Didn't you used to work for me?"
"Wait a minute," said Sam. "Don't you work for me? You're definitely fired now!"

Added: 737a741,773
"You will have to deal with your own troubles. I have no interest in the fate of the Banana Nebula. You should feel lucky that I do not crush you for having helped the Purple Hypotenuse with his EvilPlan."

"But by following the Hypotenuse we helped you with your EvilPlan."

"Yes, but you didn't know that. You were directly helping the Hypotenuse."

"We didn't know what his plan was."

"But nonetheless you were working under his plan."

"Which was a subset of your plan, meaning we were ultimately working for you!"

"It would seem that they were working both for and against you," added Mmerlin, "seeing as how they worked for your rival and yourself. Thus, Llama False is the one who is ultimately fufilled."

"If I may interrupt this meta-wanking," said Llancelot, "I should like to explain why the everyone here should be concerned with the attack on the Banana Nebula. You see, as I was going to explain earlier, I was going to report to the citizens of planet Fimo that the Banana Nebula does not have any memory destabilization rays, nor whatever llamas eat. Alas, these were all stolen by a far more threatening foe: the Giant Pickle Gang!"

"Wait a minute!" cried Sam, "It all makes sense now! None of this would have happened if I hadn't seen those three-"

Suddenly, Planet Fimo was engulfed in a gigantic ray, and everyone looked very confused.

"So, what were we talking about?" said Sam.

"I don't know," said Llancelot, "who are you? And what do llamas eat? I can't remember for some reason."

"Why am I dressed in this stupid fairy costume?" asked the Continuity Fairy.

"Hey, stop that!" yelled the alien from the Banana Nebula, as Yobananaboy had started nibbling on him.

"Eek! A talking banana!" yelled Yobananaboy.

"Holy crap! A talking monkey!" yelled everyone else.

The Purple Hypotenuse laughed evily and disappeared. Was this the end?

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