FroshAuction

The rules (as amended by their original author MarkEphair and edited by PhilMiller) of the frosh auction are as follows:

1. by winning a frosh, you only get rights to say to the frosh "i won you at an auction." you can not make them do anything, or not do anything.
2. you might be inclined to adopt your frosh. treat it nice.
3. Swooping is a crime punishable by torment and humiliation
4. maximum of one (1) frosh per person.
5. you may win a frosh and then give him/her to someone else on schmack
6. the following are instructions on how to win a frosh:
   1. pick a frosh you want to win
   2. take the letters of the frosh's name, and make an anagram that makes sense.
   3. post to schmack and say why your anagram is a good anagram for that frosh (yes, i know you haven't met the frosh yet, probably. i dont care)
   4. get made fun of by Kurt, Nate, John Walseth, or any current or former dorm president or proctor for something you said in your email
7. after you have completed ALL of the requirements listed in #6, you have now succeeded in winning your frosh. congratulations!
8. if this is your second or later frosh, please indicate to schmack to whom you grant your frosh-rights.

NOTE: these are not all east-frosh, frosh from other dorms can be auctioned

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2010 Frosh Auction Results

• MattKeeter wins AlexaSerrato? with "astral exo-ear" (awarded by MatthewLawson)
• XandaSchofield wins CarlingSugarman? with "alarming car guns" and not "curling anagrams" (awarded by PiCo?)
• StephanieLevins wins MadelineGoldkamp? with “Dan milked lame G.O.P” (awarded by PhilMiller)
• SaraGussin wins JoshuaVazquez? with "jazz quash oeuv" (awarded by PhilMiller)
• JeffreyHemphill wins SamuelCGutekunst? with "sun-cut mesa, elk tug", "a glue/nut mess tuck(ed)", "at Emu’s Gluten-Suck", and “CUTE GNU, LEAST MUSK!” (awarded by PhilMiller, who doesn't know where all that extra punctuation or effort came from)

All of the following were made fun of by JohnWalseth

• JenniRinker wins KatyAnderson with "non-tardy sake"
• AaronGable wins LaurenNishizaki with "Zen Lair Haiku Sin"
• LeeWiyninger wins ObosaObazuaye? with "Abe, you Saab zoo"
• CaitlinJacques wins KatherineMuller? with "Ur, the Name Killer"
• ChrisFerguson wins DavidLingenbrink with "Band Gin: Vile Drink!!!"
• LizSarapata wins DariaanneRydzak? with "darker, zany naiad"
• KatieBennett wins MorganLuckey with either "My lunar gecko" or "racy monk luge"

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2009 Frosh Auction Results

• ChrisFerguson wins Cory Evans-Klock with "Skanky Clove-Roc"
• WilliamGrabill wins Trevor Apple with "Vorpal Peter"
• AlanKraut wins Xanda Schofield with "Heraldic Sand Fox" (the 'r' comes from Xandra as originally posted on the roster)
• RichardBowen wins Michael Bowerman with "Belair Ammo Wench"
• KatieBennett wins Allison Card with "A Nil Clad Sora"

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2008 Frosh Auction Results

• TrystanKoch wins Natalie Nagata with "At Alien Gnat Aa"
• MarcDavidson wins Anak Yodpinyanee with "Aye, Kidnap Anyone"
• RichardBowen wins Colin O'Bryne with "Brie Only Con"
• PeterTu wins Kristen Schunter with "Cute, stern shrink"

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2007 Frosh Auction Results:

• ZviEffron gets Daniel Moore with "Laid One More".
• KellyWalsh gets Madeleine Ong with "Demon Lineage".
• AndrewTaylor gets Beky Kotcon with "Toy Cokk, 'Ben'" (where he's getting the spare comma and quotation marks we may never know).
  • Objections have been raised to this one about being disrespectful of the incoming frosh, as well as misspelled.
    • Objections have been raised to YourMom
• BrianaKonigsberg gets Dmitri Skjorshammer with "Shirk Major Midterms".
• JayMarkello gets Kevin Yeung with "Keen Ivy Gun".

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Do we have a list of the froshies for 2004-05 yet? Eek eek?

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The following people have won frosh in the auction:

• MicahSmukler won ChadFoerster? with "Decrease froth"
• JoshMiddendorf won CalPierog with "OraclePig?"

The following people have currently pending attempts to win frosh in the auction, but have not yet been made fun of:

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The results of the 2000-2001 FroshAuction is as follows:

• KurtDresner won Jessica L. Nelson (FessNelson) with "sell nice ass, Jon".
• MarySullivan won Elijah Bogart with "Job at Raleigh".
• KendraNelson won JessicaHoover with "her coo' ass jive".
• JoeFrosh won Katherine Todd-Brown (KatheToddBrown?) with "Think Brew Deodorant".
• MarySullivan won Eric O. Angell (EricAngell) with "A Rigel Clone" and gave him to BrieFinger?.
• MarySullivan won AdrianScott? with "A Ton Drastic" and gave him to MinervaWelling
• MarySullivan won Zachary Andree (ZakAndree?) with "A Red Hyena Czar" and gave him to ShannonKelley
• ChrisLundberg won TaraMartin with "Rat Martian", "Main Rat Art", "In a art mart", and "I'm a tar rat".
• DanielLowd won Nikhil Gheewala with "When I like lag, ha!".
• NickJohnson won Candace M. Church (CandaceChurch?) with "Munch card cache".
• MicahSmukler won Elizabeth Main (LizMain?) with "Hi! I'm a Zen table!"
• DanielOsborn won Dena Bodzin with "Bad end in Oz".
• JoshMiddendorf won Stephanie Grush (StephGrush) with "Sure aspen thigh".
• JustinPava won JoseluisEspinosa with "ANSI Jesus? Loose Pi!".