StemsLyrics

Song lyrics to the FilkSongs done by StemsDrugsAndRockAndRoll. Some of these were featured in the StemsSongs prank.

I Love Stems

 (To the tune of This Olde Man.)

 Lyrics: MattMacauley / JoshMiddendorf   Vocals: EmilyCukier, MattMacauley, JoshMiddendorf

 I love stems
 It kicks ass
 It is my favorite class
 I like the profs and finding diff eq's.
 I love stems
 How 'bout you

 I love stems
 Baby stems
 It's much more fun than frosh chem
 KCL, springs, and inductors too
 I love stems
 You should too

 I love stems
 Stems loves me
 Diff-e's, dampers, circuitry
 Problem solving, lotsa fun for me
 I love stems
 It's so easy

 I love stems
 it is great
 Flunk and I won't graduate
 I flunked it once and I will flunk again
 Why oh why do
 I love stems?

PC Polka

Lyrics, Music, and Vocals by AlexBobbs

 I've got a piece of (bleep) PC,
 It's got a 12 Hertz maximum speed,
 It's a (bleep)ing pile of (bleep),
 Almost as bad as the average Mac,

 My system's a big piece of (bleep),
 It won't let me surf the Net,
 And my hard drive's read-only,
 I got to save on a (bleep)n' diskette,

 I can't see stuff on the monitor,
 'Cause it's stuck on (bleep)ing "low-contrast",
 My computer was outdated,
 At least two decades in da past,

 It's got no CD-ROM drive, the punch-card reader stalls,
 Whoever built this (bleep) machine, I'll "control-X" his balls,
 I got no (bleep)n' mouse,
 Not even the kind with a tail,
 Eleven times a day I read  "abort, retry, fail",
 (bleep)

 What the (bleep!) did I do? 
 To get stuck with you?
 Too slow for ICQ,
 I can't network Quake 2,
 Oh, (bleep) me,
 I outta upgrade and buy something new, 

 Well the OS likes to crash,
 Co-processor can't do binary,
 (bleep) that (bleep)ing tech support,
 They really ain't that caring,
 I lost my main password,
 And brute-forcing requires RAM,
 And if a chick sends me email,
 It's never anything but SPAM,

 Hey boot up!
 You piece of (bleep!) PC,
 All vowels missing from my keyboard,
 No (bleep!)in' sound card,
 Printer just shreds the paper,
 (bleep!)ing 6bps modem,
 Fan makes more noise than (bleep)ing rocket...'''

The Relativistic Tango

Lyrics, Music, and Vocals by AlexBobbs

 Albert Einstein found for better or for worse,
 The darkest secrets of our space-time universe,
 When moving near the speed of light you really can't be sure,
 What's when, and where, how long, what time, how much, what happened first?

 And so we dance the relativistic tango,
 It's too bad that nothing rhymes with "tango",
 Inertial frames of rest, are now put to the test,
 When my love and I attempt this crazy tango.

 So I toss my partner left at four-fifths c, 
 (Don't you see?)
 Faster than the birds or creatures of the sea,
 Her length contracts and time slows down until she hits the wall,
 And then her mass decreases if there's any left at all,

 And so we dance the relativistic tango,
 It's too bad that nothing rhymes with "tango",
 At the speed of light, it's not a pretty sight,
 But that's how you do the relativistic tango.

 And so than she throws her dance shoes straight at me,
 While I toss a dart to her at three fifths c,
 While we're in a space ship that's careening round the Earth,
 Calculate Lorenz transformations, for what it's worth.

 And so we dance the relativistic tango,
 It's too bad that nothing rhymes with "tango",
 Red seems a greenish hue, if you use my point of view,
 While I'm doing the relativistic tango.

 There's a proton on the rose between my teeth,
 It's mass-energy is really quite unique
 It splits and forms a pion in a funny sort of way,
 Then leptons start colliding when I do a short corté,

 And so we dance the relativistic tango,
 Oh what a shame that nothing rhymes with "tango",
 To understand this more, just take Physics twenty-four,
 Then come dance the relativistic tango.

(More to be added later...)