Article 1: Logistics and Whatnot
Section 1: Prior Forms of Governance Guidelines that were implemented prior to this document are now invalid. This includes, but is not limited to, the sheet of paper entitled Frounge Rules.
Section 2: Mechanics of this Contract All parties wishing to spend time in the Frounge must sign this contract. This is nonnegotiable. Those who sign this contract must abide by the rules set forth in the following articles. No other forms of governance can supersede this contract in any way. This contract cannot be nullified or edited in any way without approval from both MaggieGelber and LydiaSylla.
Article 2: Duties of the Frounge Residents
Section 1: Food The residents of the Frounge (Lydia and Maggie) will provide as many as 12 chocolate bars to the Frounge at large per week. They also offer small amounts of storage space in the fridge for cheese, provided they can eat some of it. Food that is available to the entire Frounge will be kept in the bottom drawer of the storage unit next to the fridge.
Section 2: Maintenance of the Space The residents of the Frounge will keep their belongings within the room reasonably tidy. They will make a concerted effort to remember to do their dishes and will be primarily responsible for the task of vacuuming whenever there’s an icky amount of hair on the floor.
Section 3: Frurniture All items of furniture within the Frounge are the sole possessions of their respective for-realsies owners (ex. the Kable is in fact Kate’s and the Chairvan belongs to Evan) and can be removed from the Frounge by those owners at any time. When such a furniture item is left in the Frounge, the general population of the Frounge can use it for its intended purpose. The Frounge residents are responsible for the storage of this furniture until such time as the owner wishes to retrieve it or until it becomes unreasonable for them to store it. The Frattress is the one true piece of frurniture. It is to be kept clean and as un-sketchy as possible by the residents of the Frounge. The Frattress will also be lent out to individuals hosting prefrosh on a first come first serve basis, assuming the Frounge is not hosting a prefrosh in the same time frame.
Section 4: “Frounged” Items Items that have been declared “frounged” by their one-time owner can be used by any individual in the Frounge for their intended purpose. The residents of the Frouge are responsible for storing frounged items until they are used, or disposing of them when it is clear no one wants them.
Article 3: Duties of the Frounge Visitors
Section 1: Bedtime All visitors to the Frounge must vacate the premises when asked to do so by a Frounge resident who wishes to go to sleep. A typical warning sign that such a directive is impending is The Passive Aggressive Brushing of the Teeth, which is distinguished from normal teeth brushing by prolonged and slightly threatening eye contact between the teeth brushing individual and the visitors they wish to evict.
Section 2: Regarding the Plants Don’t hurt the plants. Don’t kidnap the plants. Don’t put blue lights in the plants. Don’t even touch the plants. Don’t touch the pots that contain the plants. Don’t use any item to in any way disturb the plants. Don’t insult the plants. Don’t think mean thoughts at the plants. You are always permitted to save the plants from the ruins of East Dorm after a significant earthquake or other natural disaster, but all other physical interaction requires the express permission of the owner of said plant.
Section 3: Mortality Don’t die in the Frounge. Don’t kill anybody in the Frounge. Anyone in violation of this section will be promptly beheaded and cast into the Pit of Doom outside the Frounge windows.
Section 4: The Toaster Don’t hurt the toaster. Don’t shoot near the toaster. Don’t hurt any of the other appliances either. You may insult the toaster if you wish.
Section 5: The No-Sit Zone Don’t sit in it.
Also don’t stand, kneel, recline, watch YouTube? videos, do handstands, contemplate your place in this universe, or any other activity for a period of time greater than it takes to reasonably transit the zone within the zone. Visitors are permitted to move through the no-sit zone, but not block that space. If you are confused by this guideline, there is a simple test to determine whether you are in violation of this section. Ask yourself if the verb that primarily describes your state of existence would cause a German two-way preposition to take the dative case. If the answer is yes, you need to remove yourself from the no-sit zone as rapidly as possible, without injuring yourself or others or breaking anything. Another good approach is to treat it as an HvZ no play zone; you must move through the zone in a normal fashion. Visitors may not store anything in the no-sit zone. “Anything” includes but is not limited to backpacks, shoes, dead bodies, and loose papers.
Section 6: The Suitemates and Their Enviable Privacy The adjoining room to the Frounge (113, occupied by Sara and Haoxing) is not part of the Frounge. Under no circumstances should anyone enter 113 without the express permission of the residents there with the sole intent to access the Frounge. This does not preclude accessing the Frounge through 113 for the purposes of pranks and similar, but all such access requires the permission of 113’s residents. 113 should not be a primary mode of access to the Frounge.
Section 7: Puns and their Punishments Bad puns will be met with general disapproval from Maggie, accompanied by any of a range of disapproving actions, including but not limited to ominous crinkling of a water bottle or a volley of nerf darts. Good puns will receive a chuckle and an eyeroll and possibly also disapproving actions from Maggie. Lydia will laugh at both bad and good puns and maybe shoot you if Maggie isn’t around to do so.
Section 8: Consumption of Non-Food Items Don’t eat puzzle pieces. Non-food items are generally not to be consumed. However, if you have been challenged with the phrase “SXSOSP” and have permission from one of the Frounge residents you may consume the non-food item that was the subject of the SXSOSP challenge.
Section 9: Behave Yourselves, Damnit
Section n: Assorted Other Directives No chess after midnight. Recycle your recycleables. Clean up nerf darts occasionally. Minimize shedding and other mess creation. Be respectful of those who live in the frounge to the degree that they are respectful to you. Also, don’t mess up.
Article 4: In Conclusion and In Concord
The undersigned do agree to abide by the terms of this contract.
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