- Use an email client that doesn't break threading.
- Turn off the receiver.
- Give up your GUI.
- Watch it in 1080p.
- Subscribe to every mailing list.
- Never use public file sharing services.
- Use periods at the end of list items.
- Exhibit mild alcoholism.
- Put it in McSwiggen's nose.
- Have at least 4 jobs at any given time.
- Register for no fewer than 18 credits, 12 of which are technical.
- Spend at least half of your income on hard drives.
- Never throw up in public.
- Disregard mentors, light hands on fire.
- Make love to the louch so vigorously that it needs to be replaced.
- Choose a frosh to take under your wing. Be sure to beat them thoroughly.
- Accidentally have sex ten times in one day.
- Disable USB ports, webcam, audio interface, etc. in BIOS.
- Use your SSD-endowed laptop as a bludgeoning and projectile weapon
- Never sleep in the lounge.
- Do not accept A- grade offers.
- Proposition your friend's parents for the watching of porn.
- Act like an asshole to everyone.
- Clearly you just haven't entered my exclusive inner circle -- PaNts
- Consume ~2 liters of tea, coffee, or some combination of both each weekday.
- Register for CS Colloquium for the sole purpose of making your [schedule] more symmetric.
- Edit FunWiki in vim.