is a student at HMC and a member of the class of 2014. Jake lives in EastDorm
. (Shush, AtwoodDorm
is not a real place.) Jake is frequently referred to as "LoungePants
", after his preferred method of loin-girding.
Jake's notable achievements include a high number of bicycle collisions with stationary objects, as well as the discovery of immortality (Jake cannot die). Jake also has an impressive track record of tipping backwards while attempting to balance in chairs.
Jake is interested in computers. Jake likes computers, in much the same way that ordinary mortals like breathing oxygen. Jake is majoring in CS.
This year, Jake is a BBQ Baron, along with PatrickMeehan. Jake is also President of Nerfshmc.
Some, but not all, of these things are true about Jake:
- Jake is descended from vikings.
- Jake has inverse-Samson syndrome - if his hair were to be cut off, his physique would improve practically overnight.
- Jake owns more computers than fingers.
- Jake speaks entirely in the third person.
- Jake is allergic to jeans, and must always wear lounge pants.
- Jake once punched a bear.
- Jake speaks braille.
- Jake dislikes long lists of possible truths.
- Jake sleeps macho.
- Jake likes pirates better than ninjas. Yaargh, matey!
- Jake didn't know he had a kitchen until a month after moving to Sontag. Witnesses saw him use the sink.
Jake is cuddly and loveable. He is armed and considered highly dangerous. Do not approach.
- "LOUNGE PANTS!" (esp. as a battle cry)
- "Why be sleeping when you could be NOT sleeping?!"
Some things Jake likes (besides computers, lounge pants, and pirates):
- Iced Coffee (European espressos especially)
- JRR Tolkien's works
- Cheesy power metal. REALLY cheesy power metal.
- The F-16 Belgian/Norwegian? block 15 MLU (a 90s vintage jet)
- Prof Ran
- Isaac Asimov's stories - especially "The Last Question" and "Nightfall"
- The CS Graveyard
- Beowulf (particularly Seamus Heaney's translation)
- I said Prof Ran already, right?