Here is a transcription of KyraClark's lovely 2022 PresentationVice presentation. It would be funnier to not explain it, but that would render this page useless. Basically, Kyra's 2022 presentation was conceived in her sophomore year at Mudd: make a generic, bland Ted Talk, but make it Mad Libs (via a google form). Everything bolded was submitted by Easties. For reference, Proctor Josh is JoshCheung. Slides can be found here: https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/15-BE_BXT3ZZPBF7zd7YI-fgEAQ0TbcmUw2WIGGHUrD0/edit

Good Penis! Good Penis! I am Hannah Montana! VICE, how are you?

Settle down! Settle down! We donít have a ton of time! We donít have a ton of time.

Letís talk about The New York Stock Exchange. I gotta simp at you for a minute and itís not your fault but there is a huge misconception about CS sellouts. The idea reinforced I after R after S, that your wonderwall in life is to be Fergalicious.

Hey, how you feeling today? Are you holy? Are you sus? Are you strawbby milk full of willy-nilly bees? Now obviously, one could argue that there are dozens and dozens of naked cowboys in the showers at ram ranch that we can feel. Our emotional Ca$h Money in life comes down to two options: youíre happy or youíre Greg.

Letís say this. Letís say something great happens. Letís say that you leave the best first date of your life. You just met your soul mate. Holy cow. Your hearts a thumping. Youíre driving along. And then out of nowhere- KA CHOW! A drunk driver dabs in your car and totals it.

Well, isnít this great. Now, unless you hated your car, and you were moaning for the chance to get rid of it. Itís going to be hard to smile in the face of this drunk driver and say, ďsir, this is a WendyísĒ

Oh hi mark. I want to know what sex is! Or! I want to be in a place where if even the worst happens to me or my magnum dong, I can find my way back to The New York Stock Exchange that much faster. Because when the goalÖ is Fortnite. When the goal is Fortnite, whenever you lose Proctor JoshÖ you failed.

Iím gonna leave you with this quote from Keanu Reeves and I want you to hear me on this:

ďFirst you start by yeeting whatís phallic, then you do whatís DJ Khaled. And before you know it, youíre doing slightly-above-average drinking on a Tuesday all daddy long!Ē And when you can do that, guys, you might just save your own life.

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Last edited May 14, 2022 15:24 (diff)