Prof. Eckert also never graduated high school. Accounts of why this is so vary, but he likes to say that one of these days he and ProfessorSparks are going to go get their GED's together (Prof. Sparks doesn't have hers because she was in England or some silly excuse like that).
Actually, in lab once this is the story Eckert told us:
Eckert was in a shop-type class that was integrated across ability levels. There was one fairly retarded kid there, and the teacher made sport of him a lot. Once he did something particularly terrible and Eckert decked him and I think broke his nose. At that point, though the high school administrators said they agreed with his actions, he was told that it was probably best for him to just leave..
By the way, Eckert is one of the ScariestProfsAtMudd.
Which does not preclude him being among the most forgiving and lenient of the physics profs, IMHO
The eternal gratitude and awe of the EastDorm contingent to Spring '02 Frosh Physics are offered to anyone who finds and sings a plausible ancient Incan funeral dirge to him.
http://us.imdb.com/Title?0031022 Here we are. "The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes", 1939 version starring Basil Rathbone. Includes a scene where a character sings what Holmes claims to be an ancient Inca funeral dirge. If someone can find a copy of it, we're all set. So, can I have that eternal gratitude and awe now? ^_^ - JeffBrenion
This story is true. So the scenario is that ProfessorEckert is a competitive shooter, and he owns several very expensive pistols which he must check at the airport when he travels. One time at Chicago O'Hare, he ran into trouble with the ticket agent, who insisted that a large red sticker proclaiming "Firearm inside" must be affixed to the hard metal briefcase which contained the weapons (and several hundred rounds of ammunition). ProfessorEckert argued that FAA regulations allow the sticker to be placed _inside_ the briefcase, thus making theft of his very expensive weapons far less likely. After a long discussion, the sticker was affixed inside the case, and Eckert ran to his plane, clutching his metal briefcase (he owns two of them, one for papers, one for weapons). As he slid into his seat, sighing with relief that he made the flight despite the stupidity of airline ticket agents, he popped open the briefcase to get a magazine, only to find, nestled in their plastic cocoons, two very expensive firearms, and several hundred rounds of ammunition. The case was shut quickly, with a snap, and immediately clutched to his chest. He began looking about wildly, hoping no one had noticed. The remainder of the flight passed without incident, the case clutched firmly to his chest, and an occasional remark to a flight attendant, "No I DON'T want to put this in the overhead bin!" In hindsight, that was (assuming the reliability of Eckert to not commit an act of terrorism--dubious, that) likely one of the safer flights in the nation -- what are the odds that _two_ people would successfully smuggle firearms onto the same flight, afterall?
Well, if the events are independent, the chance of two people smuggling weapons onto a plane given that one person smuggled one on is the same as the chance that one person smuggled one on in the first place. If they aren't independent, it's probably higher, given that the fact that one person could smuggle a weapon on means the security can't be all that great in the first place.
Statistically, people who are statistical sticklers are significantly more likely than ANY other such set of sapiens to ruin a solid conclusion to a swell story. The sole exception to this statistic (statistically speaking) is that statistical sticklers that incorrectly infer causation through correlational data - such folks, suprisingly not at all rare, are somewhat more suceptable to ruining such stories.
Besides, the punchline's true anyway- regardless of whether anyone else could smuggle weapons on board, what are the chances of a terrorist successfully hijacking a plane with Eckert on board and armed?
Yeah, really. Eckert's already terrified of flying. He would have no qualms about calmly standing up and shooting any would-be hijackers. He's probably a better shooter, too.
Also, he told me that there's an upper-division class which teaches things like the fact that sunglasses should go over your eyes and sweaters should go over your head.
Feynman was a rather famous guy, and these talks would be well populated with people from every department. In addition, the dinners intended for students would fill up with professors. After one of his last lectures at Mudd (Feynman had already had his first bout with cancer), Eckert informed Feynman that the faculty would be taking him out but that he, Eckert, would be going with his students out for beer and pizza. Feynman ditched the faculty dinner and ate with Eckert's students. Low and behold, a couple of the students were the same pranksters who moved CaseDorm. This was before they had spoken about it to anyone, and they explained how they would self report soon due to the honor code. Feynman told them never to admit they had done anything, regardless of the honor code.
When the students did self-report, they were punished so severely that one of them called Feynman and told him that he was right, and that they'd trust his advice from then on.
It is perfectly fine to call ProfessorEckert ProfMerv?. Apparently, Eckert was pulled over one time and had to attend traffic school. The teacher never stopped calling Eckert "Merv." Thus, ProfessorEckert is ProfMerv?.
I can't imagine anything more relevant to the human condition than string theory.
I'm obviously not qualified to watch Baywatch. Maybe I should ask Townsend or Donnelly or one of my colleagues. They know.
I know where the bodies are buried.
I know I'm a sadistic bastard, but it helps me get through the day.
God in his infinite wisdom made humans as his ultimate acheivement. God's an underachiever, but that's okay.
If I just skewered you at arbitrary angles?
We must either have nerves of steel or brains of Jello. (as he's about to open up a piece of equipment that still has current running through it)
An ammeter used as a voltmeter is known as a fuse.
Biologists are made up of DNA, and what a waste of it.
I like puppies, but I couldn't eat an entire one.
Oh, my God, I'm blinded by the ham!
Other than the fact that it's wrong, I think it's okay.
I've been hit by Mace and that's just uncomfortable, but pepper spray will drop you like a stone.
Don't worry, I'm just randomly accusing you of things.
Remember, you're not "doing a lab," you're "performing an experiment." You "do" Europe, and maybe other things, but not a lab.
Are there any engineers [or CS majors] here? (a few frosh raise their hands) Oh, and you seemed like such decent people...
on opening a door:
(during prof evaluations) I think, if you use it in the command form, the word "bastard" should be capitalized.
If you have a nice suit and you can point, you can be an engineer.
Could you turn that nuclear explosion down?
(to a new advisee) They must've missed the "anyone but".
Sophomore E&M lab student (circa 1983): Professor Eckert, my apparatus isn't generating any data. What's wrong? Eckert: I dunno. You tell me -- you're the experimentalist!
On solving a differential equation: "We already know the answer. That makes the guessing a lot easier."
"Why don't we pick an arbitrary symbol. We will use the greek letter 'worm.'"
"No, officer, I wasn't really going over the speed limit. I was doing it in the imaginary plane."
First day of E&M recitation 2004, while Eckert is taking roll:
Eckert: Krystle? Krystle: Here. Eckert: But it's spelled wrong!
Don't ever put a bumper sticker on your car that says "Save the Planet". I will hunt you down and kill you in your sleep.
We'll just call you Kyle. --regarding KevinBergemann
Kindergarteners are the last people to need naps. If I taught kindergarten, I would have the kids doing wind sprints so they would go to sleep as soon as they get home. (paraphrased due to the quote happening an hour and a half before being posted)
If I had had a gun, I'd have shot my alarm clock.
I hear you're not allowed to smile at any time in your sophomore year.
Doctors should not be allowed to do research because they don't know how.
Don't sleep in my class. Tell you what, you promise not to sleep in class and I'll promise not to come to your room and lecture.
We'll have one empty chair in the class. It'll move around the room. We should plot it as a function of time.
Jason Frosh: We can eliminate chairs as time goes on!
Eckert: Wouldn't it be simpler to eliminate students?
On why the perpetration of light through a vacuum mandates that light be a particle:
I can transfer energy and momentum to you with a deer rifle through a vacuum.
Being a parent is the greatest thing ever. But as God is my witness...there comes a time when you need a taser.
On ProfessorSahakian: Sahakian is... Well, he's difficult to classify. You know how you have these different categories- animal, vegetable, mineral, Sahakian.
That's why I have shotgun shells loaded with rock salt, to get physics majors out of my begonias.
After being asked a question about the details of performing an experiment in Modern Lab: Why are you asking the janitor this question?
Ellen [young impressionable FrOsh in his lab] will sit here and deep and weighty thoughts.
(On the necessity of his syllabus) I can't believe I have to say no cheating. It got me through USC.
E&M is the least glamorous and sexy course name.