For the past several hours, we have been holed up in this pit of despair known as "Academic Computing". It occurs to us that several items are required if one wants to maintain sanity in these surroundings.
1) Almond Joy Bites -- the creamy, crunchy, totally yummy chocolate and coconut dream candies. Sonnets have been written about them. Portraits have been painted about them. Every college student's wet dream come true. Available in your grocer's freezer. Don't know why you'd want frozen almond joy bites though...
2) Super-ultra-mega-cool Screensavers -- Perfect for relieving the tension brought on by evil homework assignments from hell. Mind-expansion w/out the nasty smell of incendiary designer drugs. The one drawback...needs sound effects. Unfortunately, JL trying to sound like a hurricane at the computer screen hardly qualifies.
3) Sam's Choice Purified Drinking Water -- Ingredients: purified water, magnesium sulfate, potassium bicarbonate, potassium chloride. Classification: Level 3 Toxin. To be avoided at all costs. Unless you feel like making wet water designs in the carpet...look, a butterfly!! Look, a big wet puddle!!
4) Computers -- the obvious once again comes up to smack the unsuspecting froshies in the face. Computers are, indeed, necessary in a computer lab. They are perfect for writing emails to strange mailing lists, taking purity tests for the 20-30th time, flirting with 48-year old crossdressing residents of Duluth, and other such exciting activities.
5) Microwaves -- How can you finish prelabs without them? Umm.. that's nasty.. that poor frog!