Edits highly encouraged to keep it relevant to the current dorm culture, just please do try to maintain the anapestic tetrameter as best as possible.
'Twas the night before Eastmas, and all through the dorm
Sleep was lacking as papers and tests were the norm.
The doors to the lounge were shut tight against cold,
With weather that reached below sixty foretold.
The frosh were all tiredly studying core
As sophomores complained about STEMs just next door.
And both I and my roommate had laptops aglow,
With our notes and equations we needed to know.
Then nearby in the lounge there arose such a clatter,
We both shuffled outside to see what was the matter.
The source of the noise at once warmed up my heart:
There’s no other sound quite like Mario Kart.
I joined the small crowd thinking homework could wait.
I’d play just one round, as it wasn’t that late.
As I ran into walls and got thoroughly wrecked,
I considered East Dorm and began to reflect:
We know Mudd is not easy, each day’s a new trial
But with friends all around there’s still reason to smile.
Amid classes and homework when feeling my least
I remember that I can rely upon East.
From the music we like to the games that we play,
Our culture’s unique at the end of the day.
So whenever I’m seeing a half-empty cup
There are plenty of options to brighten things up.
We have unending board games and card games as well
And a courtyard with friends who are really just swell
Though our lounge may not be in the best of conditions,
We sure do have plenty of cultish traditions.
FMM is a weird one, though always good fun,
A nice way to relax when the week’s almost done.
Or we’ve got Vice, or there’s Timesuck TV,
Or just lounge res whatever you’ve wanted to see.
We eat all our meals as a group at the Hoch
And our budgets are all in the best unit- clocks.
We have excellent frosh, I’m sure you’ll agree,
And excellent memes - chief of all, EDC.
EDC EDC, EDC EDC,
EDC EDC EDC EDC.
EDC EDC, EDC EDC;
EDC EDC EDC: EDC.
To add to the memes, we have Dis-O and Funball,
And we play as “Team Breadfish” for all of our Sportsball.
We shitpost on schmack with infinite glee,
And with all our opinions we’re pretty carefree.
But we don’t just have memes: we’re also all people
With a sense of connection that just has no equal.
Though pedantic debate can cause strife like no other,
At the end of the day we take care of each other.
As I finished up Kart and went back to my work
I was thankful for East and its unending quirks.
So I wrote you this poem, to say you’re the best:
Merry Eastmas to all: hope you all pass your tests!