From faber@parmesan.cs.wisc.edu Tue Feb 8 17:08:43 PST 1994 Article: 7189 of alt.quotations Path: news.cerf.net!pravda.sdsc.edu!usc!howland.reston.ans.net!news.moneng.mei.com!uwm.edu!uwvax!cs.wisc.edu!faber From: faber@parmesan.cs.wisc.edu (Ted) Newsgroups: alt.quotations Subject: Re: Valentines Day Quotes Date: 3 Feb 94 16:58:09 GMT Organization: ThreadBusters Lines: 105 Message-ID: References: <2iot1j$248@news.u.washington.edu> <2ipmjm$9nn@news.cc.oberlin.edu> NNTP-Posting-Host: parmesan.cs.wisc.edu Status: RO sck5197@OCVAXA.CC.OBERLIN.EDU writes: >In article <2iot1j$248@news.u.washington.edu>, philip@u.washington.edu (Philip Hallstrom) writes: > "Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then > suddenly he turns on you with a miniature maching gun." > - from a cartoon by Matt Groening I was going to just post the companion to that: "Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come." --Matt Groening But then I wound up finding all these. They run the gamut. I do notice that there are two from the letters pages of Cerebus, and two from Neil Gaiman. And two from Oscar Wilde, the famous Cerebus supporting character. Weird. "The ones who love us best Are the ones we'll lay to rest; and visit their graves on holidays at best. The ones who love us least Are the ones we'll die to please; if it's any consolation, I don't begin to understand it." -- The Replacements "I am ze locksmith of love, no?" -- Pepe Le Peau "Love just makes you so damn optimistic" - soap opera plot summary "Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence." -- H.L. Mencken "Falling in love makes smoking pot all day look like the ultimate in restraint." -- Dave Sim "Love and stoplights can be cruel." -- Sesame Street "It's a special feeling I get when a friend falls in love...I feel so...so..." "Bitter?" "That's it exactly." --Doctor Doctor "Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain emties.~ --Jules Renard "Dave. Love is like jury duty, is what I'm trying to say." -- Thom E. Lake, in Aardvark Comment "Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and blows up the bonfire." -- La Rochefoucauld "My dear boy, the people who love only once in their lives are really the shallow people. What they call their loyalty and their fidelity, I call their lethargy of custom or their lack of imagination. Faithfulness is to the emotional life what constancy is to the intellect - simply a confession of failure. Faithfulness! I must analyse it some day. The passion for property is in it. There are many things that we would throw away if we were not afraid that others might pick them up." -- Ocsar Wilde "What's the name of the word for the precise moment when you realize that you've actually forgotten how it felt to make love to somebody you really liked a long time ago?" "There isn't one." -- Delirium and Dream "When we hold each other, in the darkness, it doesn't make the bad things go away. The bad things are still out there. The nightmares are still walking. When we hold each other we feel - not safe, but better. 'It's all right,' we whisper. 'I'm here. I love you.' And we lie, 'I'll never leave you.' For just a moment or two the darkness doesn't feel so bad. When we hold each other." -- John Constantine, written by Neil Gaiman "Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, A medley of extemporanea; And love is thing that can never go wrong; And I am Marie of Romania." -- Dorothy Parker "Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love." -- Charlie Brown "Never judge someone by who he's in love with; judge him by his friends. People fall in love with the most appalling people. Take a cool, appraising glance at his pals." -- Cynthia Heimel "Love is like pi -- natural, irrational, and VERY important." --Lisa Hoffmann "Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife." -- PJ O'Rourke "Love makes the time pass. Time makes love pass." -- French Proverb "Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance." -- Ocsar Wilde "The fickleness of the woman I love is only equaled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me." -- George Bernard Shaw "Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia." -- Judith Viorst "Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell." -- Joan Crawford > -- Ted Faber Figment at Large faber@cs.wisc.edu "The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit." -- Maugham