---------------------
      Going Back
~ A Moment of Haven ~
---------------------
	He stepped off the shuttle and took a deep breath.  "Do you 
smell that, Heero?"

	Heero cautiously tested the air.  "Smell what?"

	"Stale, recycled air, with a hint of hopelessness, a whiff of 
poverty, and chased with a helping of apathy.  Gotta love L2."  He 
smacked his lips in mocking appreciation of the atmosphere.  It had been 
a while since he had last returned to his home colony.  He tended to 
avoid it if he could.  After so much effort to free himself from this 
place, why would he willingly fling himself back into its embrace?

	Heero studied his partner's reaction as they strode down the 
spaceport hallways and made a note to himself to take Duo's mood into 
consideration as they interacted for the rest of the mission.  It was 
this very atmosphere that they were here to try to help dispel.  Relena 
had asked them to survey the conditions of L2, as colony-born, natives, 
Preventers, and generally perceptive people.  The information that they 
provided her would go into her office's year-end report, which would, in 
turn, be used when formulating the agenda for the next year.

	That was their official duty.  As a personal side-quest, Duo had 
come to L2 with his own mission: to delve into the murky depths of the 
L2 records office, such as it was, and try to get to the bottom of the 
gnarled chain that was the L2 bureaucracy, where the answer he was 
seeking hopefully lay.  He still wasn't entirely sure what he would do 
when he found out once and for all whether or not Jimmy Suzuhara had 
been one of the rebels that had taken refuge in the Maxwell Church, but 
he did know that he wanted to find out.

	Fortunately for them, the reconnaissance for the official 
mission was easily accomplished both before and during the course of 
their investigation into the events of AC188.  With a little clever 
twisting, they managed to select L2's records systems as a 
representative of many of the things that needed to be fixed about the 
governing order.

	While all of the other colonies and most of the countries on 
Earth had their public records electronically stored and available over 
the net to the populace, L2 was a little behind.  The framework existed 
for putting the database online, but very little of the data had been 
inputted, and the framework itself was engineered so poorly that Heero 
could barely articulate how poor it was.  He placed it roughly on par 
with the work of a grade-schooler and left it at that.

	Because the networking all over the colony was unreliable and 
infrequently maintained, one's best bet was to access the information at 
the head office itself.  Naturally, being a government office, they 
didn't cater to visitors.  It would have taken the two of them much 
longer to get in if they hadn't had the power of the Preventers and the 
Foreign Ministry to back them up.  Even then, data was sparse, misfiled, 
and improperly indexed.  Searches tended to ignore the obvious in favor 
of the mismatch.

	Duo heaved a deep sigh upwards, blowing his bangs out of his 
eyes as he leaned his rickety chair back to balance on its two hind 
legs, waiting for Heero to finish hacking his way into the data files.  
No, he wasn't trying to gain access to the files themselves.  There was 
nothing really for him to hack into.  Instead, he was only trying to get 
a look at the file structure to see if he couldn't get a better feel for 
what sort of, if any, organization was used in the storage of the data.

	"Would you stop that, Duo?" he asked, his brow furrowed in 
concentration as he attempted to make heads or tails of the file system.  
"That creaking is making me nervous.  I keep thinking that chair will 
collapse from under you any moment now."

	With another sigh, Duo made the joints of his chair squeal once 
more before he settled it back on the ground.  It was the only thing 
keeping him occupied, but he knew better than to press his luck.  If he 
kept rocking the chair after ignoring Heero's warning, it was inevitable 
that the chair would actually collapse, even though he didn't think it 
would.  He wouldn't be playing with the chair if he thought it was 
dangerous, but that was how things worked on L2.  If bad things could 
happen, they did.  And they laughed all the while, too.  Of course, 
given the way things usually went, maybe the chair would finally 
collapse now, right after he stopped rocking it.  The thought almost 
made him start it up again.

	"Hey, you know what law needs to be changed around here?  It's 
Murphy's law.  You think Relena's office could do something about that?  
Because if we could get ol' Murphy to lighten up a bit around here, I'm 
sure things would just get loads better."

	"Is it in the books?" Heero asked pointedly.

	"Probably not."

	"Then I doubt it."  The color on his monitor flickered again 
before the red went out.  Resigned to such a crude way of doing things 
for now, he whacked the monitor, and contact was re-established, 
bringing the red back.

	"But hell, I doubt anyone could actually prove that it wasn't in 
the books.  I mean, does this place even have books?"

	"If it did, would we be here right now?"

	Duo got up, flipped his chair around, and straddled it, crossing 
his arms over the back of it.  This neatly solved his dilemma of whether 
or not to rock his chair.  "You sure there's nothing I can do to help?"

	His partner sat back for a moment and ran a hand through his 
hair, an almost-sign of near-frustration.  "I can barely do anything to 
help here."

	A fleeting look of disappointment flittered across Duo's face.  
"So it's hopeless, huh?"

	Heero turned to look at him, studied him seriously for a couple 
of seconds, then breathed a pseudo-sigh as he resumed his position.  
"No, it's not hopeless.  Forget the system.  I can run my own search on 
the files.  The raw data's not too garbled."

	 "Won't that take, like, forever?"  Heero gave him a Look.  "Oh, 
right.  Forever's better than nothing, I guess."  He paused, then shook 
his head.  "No, but Heero... you don't have to do that.  We'll just 
write it up as hopeless, add some pretty words about the dangers of an 
uninformed populace, and turn in the report.  There, mission complete."

	"You don't mean that."  Heero tossed him a sidelong glance.  "Or 
rather, you do mean it, but that's not what you want to do."

	"No, it's not what I want to do, but... I want answers, Heero, 
but I don't want to bark up a dead tree.  We should stop wasting our 
time here."

	Heero stopped and took another long moment to read his partner's 
expression.  Noting the slightly glum demeanor, he frowned again at his 
monitor as he ran through the possibilities in his head.  "You're 
right," he decided.  "We should stop wasting our time here.  I'll burn 
the data to disk and we can take it with us.  I'll probably be able to 
do more later with better tools."

	Duo opened his mouth to protest as Heero rummaged inside of his 
bag for a disk, but he couldn't bring himself to tell him to stop a 
second time.  It was hard enough the first time.  After all, they were 
moving on, so they weren't wasting their time or company time.  And if 
Heero wanted to bring the data along with him, well, Heero could do 
whatever he wanted in his spare time.  That was his choice.  He wondered 
briefly about the legality of pilfering a colony's records database, but 
rejected the idea shortly.  They were public records, after all, and 
besides, when had legality ever meant much to a Gundam pilot?  
Especially one named Heero Yuy.

	Of course, there was also the fact that Duo really, really 
wanted to know, and they really had no other leads to follow without the 
database.  He didn't want to just give up, and he was sure Suzuhara-san 
wanted to know, too, so he just sat silently until Heero initiated the 
burn and sat back for it to finish.  It was then he managed to mutter 
something resembling thanks while staring at his boots.

	He removed his gaze from the floor after the words were spoken, 
and met Heero's eyes.  Heero gave him an understated quirk of his lips 
and a shrug of his shoulders.  It is nothing, he was saying.  Now let us 
speak no further of it.

                              ************

	The key clacking of two laptops filled their small hotel room 
two nights later.  One set stopped for a moment as Duo took a moment to 
yawn.  "Damn, this report is getting long, and we're not even half done 
yet."

	"Good thing we started now, then," Heero replied, his partner's 
pause reminding him to give his eyes a break from the screen for a 
little bit.

	"We probably don't need to get this precise, I suppose.  Most of 
the stuff we're writing up can be reduced to 'golly, if only people 
would care....'"

	"They care about themselves," Heero offered helpfully.

	Duo snorted.  "Okay, fine.  If only they would care about others 
once in a while.  Or you know what?  They can care about only themselves 
if they want, but why can't they do it in a less short-sighted fashion?  
I mean, there's no way they can ever really become powerful and mighty 
in a dump like this.  It's to their own benefit if they improve this 
place as a whole.  They can't swindle money out of anyone if no one has 
any money to begin with."

	"Maybe the swindlers should take their skills off-colony, just 
like the rest of the educated populace."

	"Well, that would be a great idea, if only the swindlers were 
more than two-bit lowlifes with no real ambitions.  Oh yeah, that 
reminds me...."  He typed up a quick note to himself on the side of his 
report.

	"Tell me you're not going to write that into the report.  I 
think the Foreign Ministry might worry if we proposed building new 
schools for the criminals, too."

	"Well, maybe that would actually encourage the kids to attend 
school, then," Duo answered cynically.  "Since crime seems like the most 
lucrative market around here and all.  If this place had even a decent 
protection racket, then at least the small businesses might be able to 
turn a profit once in a while."

	"Duo."  Heero had the most wonderful talent for turning his name 
into a quiet reprimand.  "Focus on the positive here.  Just because the 
rest of this colony thinks negatively...."  He trailed off as an idea 
occurred to him, and he sat up straight in his seat again to apply it to 
the uncooperative database.

	"Fine, fine," Duo sighed.  "What was I saying about the brain 
drain earlier?"

	"Scholarships," Heero reminded him absently, glaring at the data 
map until it yielded a new system of organization to him.  As soon as it 
came to him, he rearranged his search parameters and was off again.  It 
was heartening when he didn't run into a dead end immediately.

	"Oh yeah."  Duo went through their growing report to find the 
proper section and started inserting the thoughts he had had during the 
day.  "I know my scholarship was a sham, but at least it got me into the 
school system."

	"But isn't that promoting private schooling?" Heero eventually 
voiced the thought that had occurred to him when Duo had first mentioned 
the idea.

	"It's not like the public schools around here are all that hot.  
And at least the private schools don't feed the propaganda machines 
anymore.  Well, maybe just not as much....  Hmm, what do you think we 
could do to improve the public education system around here?"

	"Find people that care?"

	Duo shot him a glare.  "Oh, that's right.  I forgot about the 
nice-people tree."

	Heero ignored the sarcasm with ease.  Finding Heero unwilling to 
indulge him in his dark mood, Duo pouted sourly to himself and shut the 
lid of his laptop halfway in disgust, not wanting to work on the report 
while he couldn't write up anything useful.  Instead, he threw himself 
out of his chair to get himself a cup of coffee.

	"You hate that stuff," Heero felt obliged to point out, just in 
case he had momentarily forgotten.  Duo had made a most unpleasant face 
when he took his first swallow of the generic hotel-brand.

	"Yeah, but I need something to do," he grumped, going ahead and 
making himself a cup of coffee.

	Heero took that as his hint to speed his search along.  Sometime 
between the percolating coffee and the pouring of it into Duo's cup, he 
spoke.  "Duo."

	"Oh, thank God," Duo said with some relief, bouncing eagerly 
over to stand beside his partner's table.  "You've spared me from 
another cup of absolutely foul coffee.  What can I do for you?  And this 
better not be one of your 'Duo, shut up' routines, because I wasn't even 
saying anything."

	"We'll want to pay a visit to the secondary offices of the 
Records department tomorrow."

	"Oh?  And why is that?"

	"That's where they store the physical evidence gathered from 
crime scenes and the like."

	"And?"  Duo moseyed on over to stand behind Heero's chair and 
peek at the display on the laptop.  It still looked like a garbled mess 
to him.

	"And it says here, scattered in about a dozen different places, 
that from AC186 to AC188, there were a number of incidents of rebel 
violence that the Federation had to put down, and that all of the 
personal effects found on the bodies of the rebels were taken for 
identification purposes to the primary storehouses of the interim 
occupational government at the time.  They used what they could from the 
evidence to hunt down other rebels or collaborators.  There's no record 
of that evidence ever having moved, although the building itself has 
changed purposes several times."

	Duo blinked blankly at the screen for a moment, his mind having 
difficulty processing the fact that they had actually found something.  
"You see all that... in there?"  He leaned over Heero's shoulder to get 
closer to the screen and turned his head sideways, as if that could 
clarify matters for him.

	"Well, no.  But altogether, in complete sentences, I think 
that's what it says."

	"Wow."  He straightened before he could fall over, then repeated 
himself numbly.  "Wow.  You think we might actually find something 
there?"

	Heero shrugged slightly.  "Knowing how the system works around 
here, I'd be surprised if anyone actually bothered throwing any of it 
out.  I'm sure it will be a mess to sort through, though."

	"Huh."  Duo sat down heavily on the closest bed.  "Wow."

                              ************

	They bullied their way into the secondary offices of the L2 
Records department the next day.  Oddly enough, it proved more of a 
challenge when they showed their badges to the lone bored attendant 
there.  Initial impression said that the man would have been more than 
willing to accept a bribe for their passage, and they knew they would 
have yet another delightful fact to include in their report.

	Once they got inside the warehouse, they walked past all the 
shelves at the front, filled with a wide assortment of things 
confiscated from various people for various reasons.  Most of the items 
were strewn carelessly about, making it quite simple for things to be 
planted or 'lost' or just plain stolen.  Several conspicuous empty 
spaces where there obviously was something before led them to the 
conclusion that people were reclaiming items to sell back on the 
streets.  Having made these observations, they decided their official 
duty was done at this place, and that now was the time for their own 
investigation.

	It was apparent that no one had walked into the back end of the 
building for quite some time.  They ended up stealing one of the 
lightbulbs from one of the other rows to replace the one burnt out in 
the back, and with the new and improved illumination, they found, to 
their surprise, that the back side actually seemed to be in better order 
than the front.

	It was clear that folders had fallen over, and items had been 
shoved towards the ends of the shelves to make room for more, but there 
seemed to be some system to the whole array.  Apparently, the 
occupational government kept house better than the more recent 
government, at least when it came to things that could help them track 
down their enemies.

	The reference system for the area was lost, but they made do 
without it, and quite a few sneezes later, they eventually found the 
shelves in the right time frame.  Heero started at one end, Duo started 
at the other, and together they methodically worked their way towards 
the middle.

	Several dozen curse words later, wherein spiders and all their 
nasty eight-legged ancestors were thoroughly insulted, Heero looked up 
at the sound of many somethings clattering to the floor.  "Find 
something?" he asked his partner, noting the way Duo was just staring 
distractedly at the objects and not picking them up.

	Duo's head jerked up to look at him, then with a blink he looked 
back at the things at his feet and bent slowly to pick them up.  "Uh, 
yeah.  Yeah, I did."

	Heero set the box he had been sorting through back on the shelf 
and went to crouch down at Duo's side.  When he got close enough, he saw 
that Duo had dropped a large knot of dogtags, and was staring at one in 
particular.

	"Maynard," Duo said softly.  "I remember that name.  I was there 
when he struck Father Maxwell.  One of the others called his name out.  
Guess he thought it was a bit much to hit a man of the cloth.  I think 
his name was... Kipling.  Maynard told him to shut up."

	Heero gently removed the tangle of chains from Duo's fingers and 
sorted through a few of them.  He held one up.  "Kipling," he read the 
name off of it.

	"This is it," Duo breathed reverently.  "Can't prove that 
someone wasn't there... but we can prove who was there."

	Heero nodded.  "Still want to do this?"

	He closed his eyes and took a long, deep breath before nodding.  
"Yeah.  Let's do this."

	Slowly, they worked their way through the mass of tags, laying 
them out flat on the floor as they pulled them apart.  Duo tried his 
level best not to actually study the names that were being revealed 
before him.  It was bad enough that he remembered the names of all of 
the kids that had died in the massacre; he didn't want to remember all 
the names of the men that had caused their deaths as well.  He knew that 
he would never be able to forgive these men, to think of them in sad 
remembrance alongside his own dead.  He might let go of his bitterness 
towards them and he might understand their actions and he might accept 
them as fellow victims of the Federation, but he would not forgive them.

	When they were done, he sat back and looked at the dull scraps 
of metal.  "Was he in there?" he asked hesitantly, trusting that Heero 
would have been on the lookout for the name they had come here to find.

	Heero's slender fingers reached out and plucked up one of the 
tags.  "James Suzuhara," he identified.

	"Damn."  He hung his head and tried to wrap his mind around the 
idea.  In the meantime, Heero went about tidying up what they had 
scattered over the floor in their sorting.  That didn't take very long.  
Without tangling the tags up again, he gathered them up and put them 
back in their box, and put the box back on the shelf.  With Jimmy's 
dogtag, he pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket, shook most of the 
dust from it, and wrapped it up, and when that too was put away, Duo 
stirred.  "Let's get out of here."

                              ************

	Heero took care of adding the day's activities to their report.  
As he did that, Duo laid back on his bed, staring at the innocuous 
dogtag dangling from his fingers.  When Heero was finished with the 
report, Duo was still contemplating the significance of the dogtag.  
When Heero got out of the shower, finally getting every last dustball 
off of himself, Duo was still studying the metal tab, and when Heero sat 
down on the bed next to him with a quiet sigh, Duo barely blinked.

	Heero was the patient sort.  He said Duo's name several times 
over before he got his partner's attention.  "Duo.  It's getting late."

	Duo exhaled loudly.  "Yeah, I guess."  He closed his fingers 
around the object in his hand, blocking it from his sight long enough 
for him to think about something else.

	Heero reached out, uncurled his hand, and took it from him, 
wrapping it back in the handkerchief and setting it down on the table 
beside them.  "So?"

	"So...," Duo repeated slowly, not knowing if he could answer the 
question.  "So I know now.  And it's not a good thing or a bad thing... 
it's just a thing.  It feels like it should be more than just a thing, 
but... it's not.  Maybe it's just not yet.  Maybe I'm still in shock or 
something, but... I think about it and... I don't really feel anything."  
His eyes shifted from the stained ceiling to his partner.  "Is that 
bad?"

	One of Heero's shoulders lifted in a tiny lopsided shrug.  "I'm 
not really a good person to ask.  But I asked you once, and I'll ask you 
again: what does this change?"

	He sighed.  "Nothing?  It doesn't seem like it should be that 
simple, and yet... there's no reason to get all complicated, I guess.  
It doesn't change the past.  I've already come to terms with the past.  
It wasn't really entirely their fault the Feds came and blew everything 
to hell.  It's... not even my fault that I wasn't there that night."  It 
was still fairly difficult to accept those truths, but he accepted them 
nevertheless.

	"So does it change the future?"

	"The future?  I guess the only thing left to be determined is... 
Suzuhara-san.  I don't really see why she should get messed up in this 
whole thing.  She's a great lady, and she's been a great neighbor, and 
she doesn't have a clue about any of this.  I still don't know what I'll 
tell her, if anything at all... but she's still just Suzuhara-san.  Me 
and her husband just happened to have crossed paths, once upon a time.  
I don't remember him.  If she'd been married to that Maynard guy or 
something, sure, maybe I'd get a little pissy, but for all I know, he 
was just one of the wounded they brought in.  Very good possibility, 
considering how many of them were wounded.  I don't think I'd have had a 
problem if they'd just dropped off their wounded and left."

	"So are you feeling better about this whole thing now?"

	"Well, yeah, I guess.  I feel better now that I'm not wondering 
anymore.  I'm still kinda spacy about this whole thing, but... I feel 
better now that I've talked about it, too.  Funny how I was lying here 
thinking, and I didn't think half the things I said just now talking to 
you.  Thanks, Heero."  As a response, one corner of Heero's lips lifted 
briefly in a half-smile.  He patted Heero's hand in appreciation and got 
up to get ready for bed.

                              ************

	One day was allocated for studying the L2 marketplace.  They 
divided the field into two pieces.  There were the small, local 
businesses, and then there were the large-scale businesses, be they 
industrial, franchise, or off-colony.  Since Duo would be more familiar 
with the local businesses, it was decided that he would study the 
large-scale companies.  That way, Heero could look at the local 
businesses with a clearer eye.

	Duo looked at the ugly, squat buildings in front of him with a 
sense of pride.  He had helped put them there, in a way.  After the war, 
he'd done a little bit of talking with Relena and Quatre, and the two of 
them had encouraged investors to take an interest in L2.  Granted, there 
weren't many of them, and there probably wouldn't be until the first few 
intrepid ventures proved themselves to be successful, but at least 
someone out there was taking the chance.

	The industries that were interested in branching out to L2 were 
mainly looking for cheap, unskilled labor, hardly flattering for the L2 
citizenry.  On the other hand, those were jobs that they had a chance of 
filling, keeping, and succeeding at, given the current level of 
education on the colony.  It didn't matter that they were often minimum 
wage with minimum benefits; some money was better than no money, and it 
helped keep some people off the streets.  Outside labor inspectors came 
by to check in randomly to make sure the companies weren't cheating 
their employees, and the threat of a ruined reputation was enough to 
keep the companies running legitimate businesses.

	That was not to say that it was an immediate success.  It was 
still getting started.  That was why the offices of these branches were 
located in these old buildings; they'd had to occupy what was already 
there.  An office park was going up in another part of the colony, and 
these regional offices would most likely shift to that new location once 
construction was done.

	Duo pulled a slip of paper out of his pocket and checked the 
address of the new site.  He wanted to go over and check out the layout 
and location.  The street names were unfamiliar to him.  Unofficially, 
all of the streets were still laid out with letters or numbers as names, 
but a handful of the significant streets had been officially renamed 
after the war as a part of the 'revitalization' campaign.  Part of the 
reason was to make things sound a little more modern and Earth-like.  
Another part of the reason was that, while the 'L Street Gang' sounded 
cool, the 'Rhododendron Drive Gang' didn't quite have the same ring to 
it.

	Duo was looking for Thackery and 13th.  He knew where 13th was 
well enough, but he settled for just walking until he ran into Thackery.  
He had been informed that it wasn't too far.  While he was there, he 
took in some of the scenery.  He thought he almost recognized this 
neighborhood, but it was difficult to tell.  Some of the streets had 
been straightened, others had new buildings or landscaping, but every 
once in a while he would spy a sign or an outline of a building that 
seemed familiar, and this continued until he finally found the street 
sign labeled Thackery.

	There was a large lot where the new buildings were going up, 
surrounded with a wooden fence that had already been tagged by some of 
the local youths.  He didn't recognize the symbols, but gangs rarely 
lasted more than a few years before they dissolved or became something 
else, so that wasn't too surprising.  Between the planks that made up 
the fence, he could see a foundation already laid, with a good supply of 
construction materials scattered around.

	He took a look around, trying to get a feel for the neighborhood 
that the site had been planted in the middle of.  He stood on the corner 
and turned around, and he completed about three-quarters of a revolution 
when he froze and slowly turned back to stare down Thackery in the 
spinward direction.

	There were three posts jutting out of the top of a building two 
blocks down.  A water tower used to sit atop them, although the blasted 
container had always been empty.  He'd always thought the thing was 
mocking them, even if it had served a sort of purpose.  He remembered 
hiding out inside of it once or twice.

	He turned his attention to the left side of the street.  If he 
took the sign off of that building there, and repainted the side of that 
building over there....  He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, willed 
himself to be mistaken, and then took another look, but no, the 
landscape didn't change.  Holding onto his denial for just one minute 
longer, he jogged down the block with heavy, nervous steps, and found a 
street sign.  It read S Street.  That meant Thackery used to be T 
Street.  And what used to stand on 13th and T was a church.  A very 
special church.  And now even that church's charred remains had been 
plowed under in the name of progress, a progress that he had had a small 
part in bringing to this colony, no less.

	He felt like falling to his knees and crying to the heavens for 
the injustice of it all.

                              ************

	Heero walked down 6th Street in search of a likely looking 
candidate for his study.  He was looking for something different from 
the run-of-the-mill shops that lined the street.  He had already hit the 
grocer and the drug store, and now his eye was caught by a 
scruffy-looking window display filled with brightly colored trinkets.  
That seemed promising.

	He entered the store, his passage marked by the sweet tinkling 
of bells attached to the door.  With a thought, he smoothed the frown 
that automatically accompanied such a sound.  He didn't like having his 
presence announced, but if he were a shopkeeper, he would have liked to 
have notification of his guests' arrivals, so he supposed he couldn't 
begrudge the owner her system.

	The woman at the counter looked up and greeted him brightly.  He 
supposed that this was the 'Janey' of the store's name.  It was highly 
unlikely that a store such as this would have lasted long enough for it 
to have changed owners, and it was equally unlikely that a store such as 
this would have the resources to hire someone to mind the shop.

	He eyed the contents of the store and found himself wondering 
how this place stayed in business.  Nothing of necessity was sold here.  
It was all composed of decorative items and gifts and the like, all 
apparently handmade.  There was hardly a thriving tourist industry on 
L2, and how many others would spend their few dollars on fripperies?

	Deciding that he would not gain any particularly useful 
information from inspecting the goods for himself, not being a 
particularly good judge of this sort of thing, he decided to strike up 
something resembling a conversation with the shopkeeper.

	The woman in question was bent over a bit of embroidery.  It 
looked like she was monogramming a handkerchief, but she set it down 
when he approached.  "Is there something I can help you with, dear?"

	Heero blinked only once at the appellation.  It wasn't often 
that he rated a 'dear'.  He tried to make a guess at her age, but it was 
difficult to estimate accurately.  In the peculiar way of many of the 
people born and bred on this colony, she looked both young and old, but 
he would place her at no more than thirty.  "Would you mind if I asked 
you a few questions?"

	"That's not a problem.  My name's Janey, and this is my shop."

	That confirmed his earlier supposition.  Knowing that any 
attempt on his part to relate personally and casually to the shopkeeper 
would most likely fail, he opted for the straightforward approach.  "I'm 
collecting information that will be written up in a report for the ESUN 
Office of Foreign Affairs.  This study will eventually be taken into 
consideration by the Ministry's planning committee as they draw up their 
agenda for the new year.  If you have any relevant issues you would like 
to bring up to the committee, you may mention them to me."

	She looked at him skeptically, just as the last two storeowners 
had, so he pulled out his Preventers badge and flipped it open for a 
brief second before stowing it away in his inside pocket again.  They 
weren't really there as Preventers; they just happened to be Preventers 
-- part-time ones at that.  Relena had asked them to do it as a service 
for her office, and their identities lent the study a certain 
credibility, but they weren't really there under Preventers authority.  
Nevertheless, having that authority to flash around came in handy 
sometimes.

	She accepted the proof of his legitimacy with a philosophical 
shrug.  She didn't think that anything she said would make a difference, 
but the boy seemed nice enough.  A bit abrupt, perhaps, but honest, at 
least.  Too young to be very high up on the food chain.  He didn't look 
like he was out trying to gather information for some nefarious purpose.  
She might be worried if the government were more corrupt, but as it was, 
it was merely apathetic.  It was unlikely that her statements would be 
used against her.  If he wanted to believe that this study of his would 
make a difference, then she wouldn't burst his bubble.

	"Well, I can't say that I can think of anything off the top of 
my head..."

	"Why did you decide to open this sort of store?"

	His tone had been completely neutral, but it seemed she had 
received this question before, and her eyes took on a glint as she rose 
to the perceived challenge.  "You mean, why am I selling 'useless' 
things when the people around here can barely afford the food to feed 
their kids?  Well, someone's gotta help make this place pretty, mister, 
and it might as well be me.  Yes, I'm just scraping by, just like 
everyone else, but just because we live in this ugly place doesn't mean 
we like it that way."

	Heero processed that for a moment.  "You mean that people are 
willing to sacrifice a few credits for a little something to brighten 
their lives."  While he didn't particularly share the sentiment, he 
could understand it.  Taken to an extreme, he could say that he was 
willing to sacrifice quite a few creature comforts, up to and including 
his own life, for a little peace to brighten everyone's lives.

	"Yes, yes they are.  Doesn't happen too often, I guess, but it 
happens.  None of this stuff is real expensive.  It's just a little 
somethin'."

                              ************

	Reluctantly following the compulsion he felt, Duo trudged back 
to the new construction site and slipped between the wooden planks of 
the temporary fence surrounding it.  He closed his eyes and 
painstakingly rebuilt it in his mind from his memories.  Holding the 
image in his mind, he followed the mental map until he located the spot 
where he thought the altar had been.  There he sat wearily, leaning 
against the closest of the metal support beams that were sticking out of 
the foundation.

	"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned," he mouthed the words 
rather ironically to himself, but that was as far as he could get before 
a harsh laugh/snort burst forth from his lips.  The universe was laughing 
at him, and, he thought, you know what they say: if you can't beat 'em, 
join 'em.

	'Me and ol' man Murphy have gotta have a good long talk.'  He 
shook his head and sighed at his ill-fortune.  He just couldn't find it 
in himself to be anything more than tired.  It was the sort of 
exhaustion he could feel in his bones, as if the cold ground beneath his 
bottom were sapping the energy from him.  It occurred to him, rather 
whimsically, that perhaps it wanted him to stay here where he belonged.

	He hadn't been here when they had all needed him, and he had 
never had a chance to make it up to them.  Maybe that was a part of why 
it was hard for him to just let this go.  At least Heero, after the 
fiasco at New Edwards, had had the opportunity to track down the 
Noventas in a quest for absolution.  Duo had nothing.

	Heero would probably tell him that his involvement in the war 
should have been absolution enough.  Duo didn't quite buy that.  Father 
Maxwell had been against the fighting, after all, and besides, Duo 
hadn't had the best of intentions when he had joined the cause.

	'I'm sorry I didn't turn out the way you wanted me to,' he 
apologized silently to his ghosts.  He didn't speak the words aloud, 
only moved his lips without sound.  He was too self-conscious to start 
talking aloud to himself, and yet he needed to give the thoughts at 
least some form so that it didn't seem as if he was only talking to 
himself.  This way, it was almost like a prayer, and he could pretend 
there was someone listening on the other end.

	'And I'm, um, sorry I got this placed mowed down,' he mouthed 
with a rueful, bitter chuckle ringing in his head.  'Not the burning, 
just to be clear, but the mowing, what with the business park and all.  
But, you know, this place is going to help the people around here, and 
you'd like that, right?  I kinda wish they'd found a way to do it 
without making it like this place never existed, but I guess they 
couldn't have known.  ...I guess I'm the only one that knows, probably.

	'...I don't know if you've been watching me or not... you 
probably have better things to do... but, well, I've tried.  It took me 
a little while to get going, maybe, but when I had the time to get my 
head together, I did try to remember all the things you'd said to me.  
Ya know, about forgiveness, and responsibility, and... and stuff.  Maybe 
I haven't been too good about the whole commandments thing, but, well, 
hey, I've never coveted my neighbor's wife!  That's gotta count for 
something, right?

	'I'm... sorry I wasn't here that night.  I don't know what I 
would have done if I had been here... but I feel like I should have been 
here anyway.  You'd probably tell me that it was the hand of God that 
spared me or something... and, well, whatever.  Let's not argue about 
that.  I just shouldn't have run off like that.  I'm not saying that I 
really should have died with you... I think I'm mostly over that phase.  
But I just... I should have been here.  Whether I lived or died or 
whatever, I should have been here because this is where I belonged, and 
I'm sorry.  Really, really sorry.'

                              ************

	They talked for a while about economic and social policy, and 
its impact on this area.  It was interesting to get the point of view of 
someone that didn't view herself as a businessperson.  She seemed to be 
more familiar with the lower-class than the proprietors of the grocery 
store and the drug store.

	"How did you get into this business?" Heero asked her.

	"Got tired of my old job," she tossed out flippantly.  She was 
starting to warm up to the kid.

	"Which was...?" Heero asked obligingly, sensing that she was 
waiting for the prompt.

	She smiled triumphantly, as if this was what she was most proud 
of.  "I used to be a prostitute.  And I probably would have stayed one 
for many more years if someone hadn't come along and convinced me that I 
had other talents I could market."

	"The sort of person this colony could use more of, I suppose?"

	"Ah, but he was one of a kind.  We ladies used to watch out for 
him, make sure he stayed out of our line of work.  He had so many other 
skills, you see, it was quite a surprise when he turned around and used 
the same line on me!  Yeah, our Duo sure was somethin'."

	Well, that wasn't quite what he expected to hear, although he 
wasn't terribly surprised.  "Duo Maxwell?  About my age, brown hair, 
long braid?"

	She stared at him incredulously for a moment.  "Yeah.  Yeah, 
that's him!  You know him?"  He nodded.  "No way!  That's amazing.  What 
happened to lil' Duo?  He disappeared a while back, said he was going to 
get off this ol' rust bucket.  Did he make it?"

	He nodded again, somewhat charmed by the warm, eager look that 
took years off her face.  No wonder Duo spoke of these ladies fondly.  
"Aa, he made it.  He works with me now."  He avoided informing her that 
Duo was on the colony right now.  He wasn't sure whether or not Duo 
would want him to tell her.  If he wanted to make contact, then he could 
do so by himself later.

	"Why, he sure has moved up in the world, hasn't he?  I always 
knew he would.  And he was always the sweetest little thing, too, though 
I bet he's not so little anymore."  Heero snorted imperceptibly.  "Right 
before he left, he was saying to me, 'Janey, I want you to think about 
somethin' for me.  I want you think about gettin' offa these streets.'  
And he went on about how I already made these little things for the 
other ladies and everyone loved 'em and how I should open up my own shop 
and sell 'em, and, why, here I am today.  I tell you, it's all because 
of that boy."

	"You should tell him that, if you see him.  I think he'd like to 
hear that."  Duo never thought very much about himself or his influence 
on others.  Heero thought he might benefit from a little strengthening 
in that area.

                              ************

	'...And yeah, I know there's a church nearby, and it's got a 
nice priest and everything, so maybe I should stop by and, I don't know, 
say hi to God or something, but... maybe one day.  Just not one day 
soon.

	'Hey, I've got a house now.  No, a home.  I have a home.  And, 
well, I suppose I'm a little too old to be adopted now, but you can say 
I sorta got adopted by this nice neighbor lady of ours... 'ours' being 
mine and Heero's.  I guess you can say that Heero adopted me, too.  I 
mean, he looks out for me and stuff, and I look out for him.  Maybe 
we've adopted each other?

	'He's... he's a good friend.  The best.  The kind I thought I'd 
never have.  The kind I'm still surprised that I do have.  I worry 
sometimes that I won't have him one day.  I mean, we're young, and there 
are so many years left where so many things could happen... We could 
grow up and get married and move to opposite sides of the Earth or 
something, and that would just...'  He shivered, and pulled his jacket 
closer around him.  'That would really suck.  I mean, I like to think 
that even if he were that far away, that we'd still stay friends and 
stuff... but it wouldn't be the same if he weren't here...

	'Ugh, I'm just rambling now, aren't I?  Sorry.  It's just... I 
miss you guys.  I miss you a lot.'

                              ************

	Despite the somewhat lengthy conversation he had carried on with 
Janey, Heero was still running a little ahead of schedule, so he decided 
to try to find his partner.  Recalling the itinerary that they had 
planned the previous night and cross-referencing that with local data, 
Heero figured out where he was likely to be, and he made his way over 
there.

	The construction site was plain, boring, and resembled any other 
construction site.  He stood on the corner and looked around, but didn't 
see his partner anywhere.  He was about to leave when he looked at the 
fence one last time, and got a strange feeling that he ought to take a 
peek inside.

	He stuck his head between a couple of the boards and, after a 
brief inspection, spied Duo sitting up against one of the beams.  He 
appeared to be staring off at nothing in particular.  Heero quickly 
picked a path to his side, his mind coming up with and rejecting 
possible scenarios of injury or ambush.

	Spying nothing wrong, as Duo appeared to be conscious and in 
good health, Heero attempted to get his partner's attention by speaking 
his name quietly, but it went unanswered.  He got another feeling that, 
whatever it was, they wouldn't be leaving this place for a little while, 
so he settled down on the ground beside him, leaning on the adjacent 
side of the same beam.

	"Hey, Heero," Duo sighed as he sat down.  Their shoulders bumped 
briefly, and they pulled away from the touch for a moment before 
relaxing and allowing the contact.

	"Duo," he said again.  "How long have you been here?"  He 
touched his friend's hand, resting on the ground beside his, as a gauge.  
It was fairly cold.  It was a good thing Duo had brought his jacket.  
The metal beam they were leaning against wasn't particularly warm 
either.

	Duo sighed again.  "Oh, a while now, I guess.  Am I late?"

	He shook his head, although Duo couldn't see it behind him and 
around the corner.  "No, I'm just a little early.  What are you doing 
here?"

	"Heh, funny you should mention that."  A weak chuckle 
accompanied the statement.  "Heero, I'd like to introduce you to a piece 
of my history."  He waved at the site around them.

	"What is this?  Or maybe, what did this used to be?" he asked 
perceptively.  He was fairly confident that Duo couldn't be referring to 
the actual construction site.  The office buildings had to be replacing 
something.

	"Home," Duo whispered forlornly, before starting up again with 
another expansive wave of his hand.  "Heero, meet Maxwell Church.  Or 
rather, what's left of it.  That is to say, nothing.  Maxwell Church, 
Heero."

	"Oh."  It was a soft word of understanding, an unspoken offering 
of sympathy.  What else could he say to a man that had just had a piece 
of his past erased?  "It lives on in your memory, Duo."

	"Damn, you get straight to the point, don't you?"

	He shrugged in dismissal of the accusation.  "Time is fleeting.  
You never know when a moment, an opportunity, might just slip between 
your fingers.  Hesitation leads only to regret."

	"I regret that I didn't hesitate," Duo responded rather 
immediately, though it took him a while to continue afterwards.  "If I 
had hesitated... then I might have been there."

	"If you had been there, then there would be no one left at all 
to remember.  You did what you thought was right, based on the 
information that you had.  There was nothing that you could have done 
that would have changed the outcome."

	"But I could have been there.  I know how utterly useless my 
presence would have been, but I could have been there."

	"They're probably glad you weren't.  There are probably a lot of 
people that are glad you weren't.  I'm glad you weren't."  Silence 
reigned supreme in the following minutes.  This was a road they had 
travelled down before.  They'd worked past Duo's feeling that he should 
have been there merely for some divine punishment, but both of them 
accepted that there was nothing wrong with wanting to have been there 
with his loved ones when their ends came.  He would just have to deal 
with that.

	Heero eventually decided to bring up someone else that probably 
appreciated Duo's continued breath.  "I met a friend of yours today."

	"Oh?" Duo replied with a certain lackluster.

	"Yes.  Her name was Janey.  She was telling me a few stories 
about your time with the ladies.  Like the time you hid out in her 
closet with a feather boa and some duct tape."

	"Now why were you down on K Street, Heero?" he responded with a 
little more interest.  "There aren't any businesses down there.  Well, 
not the type you were supposed to be looking into, anyway."

	"She wasn't on K Street.  I found her in a little shop on 6th.  
It seems she took your advice to heart and opened a store there."

	"No kidding?  Ha, I always knew she had it in her."

	"You should pay her a visit.  We should have some free time the 
day after tomorrow.  I think she'd like to see you."

	"Yeah, maybe," was all he was willing to commit to for the time 
being.  It had been a long day, and he wasn't prepared to make any real 
decisions quite yet.

	Heero allowed a suitable amount of time to pass before asking 
Duo if he was ready to leave.  Duo took a final look around, sighed one 
last time, and assented.



_________________________________________
This piece of fiction is the intellectual 
property of the little turnip that could.  
The basis for this fic, i.e. Gundam Wing, 
Kyuuketsuki Miyu, et al., is the property 
of someone else.  The author can be con-
tacted at jchew@myrealbox.com.  This has 
been an entirely automated message.
http://www.cs.hmc.edu/~jchew/misc/gw.html

last modified : 12/20/2002 01:39:54 PST