Newspaper Headlines:
Philanthropist Dr. Klaus Ivanovich Donates Millions to Charity
Private Eye Robert "Coop" Cooper Retiring, Leaves Agency To Young Upstart Loose Cannon Goudy Stout
What is Positronium-356?

Scene 1 - Fourth Eye Detective Agency
COOP: Goudy! Goudy! Where's my damned magnifying glass?!
GOUDY: Sorry, Coop, I've been scrambling around town all morning looking for mysteries.
COOP: Ya know you've got moxie, kid. You've been my partner since you were a teenager, practically raised you, and I've taught you just about everything I know. But you're green: a real gumshoe, I tell ya.
GOUDY: What's the big idea with all this "kid" talk? I'm a great detective!
COOP: Maybe one day. But right now you're greener than me on meatloaf night, greener than the grass on the other side. You're the original tenderfoot.
GOUDY: Just give me a chance, Coop. I'll show ya I'm a great detective.
COOP: Well... alright, kid. There's been reports of vandalism over at the Midtown Palace Apartment Complex. Palace? That dump is in the worst part of town.
GOUDY: You won't be disappointed. I'll get to the bottom of it, no sweat.
COOP: Don't get too cocky. You may be young and agile, but you just don't have to field experience I have.
GOUDY: You'll see. I'll have this case wrapped up in no time.
COOP: Well, when you do we'll break out the champagne and toast to your first case on your own and to my retirement.
GOUDY: Don't go getting all sentimental on my, Coop. I'd better get going before the vandals take over that apartment.

Level 1 - Mid Scene - Abagail's Room
ABBY: You... You saved me... You saved my life... Thank you!
GOUDY: All in a day's work...miss?
ABBY: Abagail, Abagail Peterson. But my friends call me Abby.
GOUDY: That's a beautiful name. I'm Goudy Stout, detective at large. I don't have friends, but my enemies call me "dangerous".
ABBY: (giggles)
GOUDY: What's a beautiful girl like you doing in a dump like this?
ABBY: It's all a girl can afford on a meager factory assistant's salary.
GOUDY: Well, you must've had quite a scare. I'd like to take you out some time, make sure you're okay.
ABBY: I'm sure I'm alright... but I'd love to.
(crash)
GOUDY: Sounds like there's some more thugs out there that need to be dealt with.
ABBY: Be careful!
GOUDY: No need.

Level 1 - End Scene - Alleyway (Goudy Overhears Thugs)
THUG: Who the hell was that guy?
GANG BOSS: Some dumbass detective trying to be a hero.
THUG: He scared the bejeesus outta me!
GANG BOSS: Don't worry about him. If he shows his face again, I'll pound his skull into dust!
THUG: Why are we vandalising this building anyway?
GANG BOSS: Just do what you're told and don't ask questions, ya dirty thug, or we'll play a little game I like to call "You're the Hero Detective and I'm the Pissed Off Gang Boss!"
(they leave)
GOUDY: He's gonna pound my skull in? Fat chance, hotshot. I've gotta take down this local gang.

Level 2 - End Scene - Street
GOUDY: Alright, punk, talk! Who are you working for?!
GANG BOSS: Go suck an egg!
GOUDY: Maybe I won't turn you into the police, punk. Maybe I'll just take care of you myself!
GANG BOSS: Alright, alright. I'll talk.
GOUDY: Who put you your gang up to this vandalism?!
GANG BOSS: I don't know who he is. I meet him at the Underground Drill Factory downtown on E Street.
GOUDY: (aside) This sounds like the work of the Antonelli crime family. I bet old man Antonelli owns that factory.
GOUDY: When's the next meeting with your contact?
GANG BOSS: Friday night at midnight.
GOUDY: I have a feeling you'll be unavoidably detained. Don't worry. I'll make sure the contact knows why you couldn't make it.

Level 3 - Beginning Scene - Factory
GOUDY: Stop right there!
(guy runs off)
GOUDY: That was the gang boss's contact. He looks like one of Antonelli's men. I'd better get him.

Level 3 - End Scene - Factory
CONTACT: Ha! (cough) Looks like I've punched my last ticket, and it's a one way trip outta this crazy world.
GOUDY: Don't die on me yet. Your boss, what is he after?
CONTACT: You don't want to go after him. (cough) His plans are too big; he's too smart. You'll never stop him.
GOUDY: I'll be the judge of that. Tell me his plans. Why is he trashing those buildings? What's the connection to this factory?
CONTACT: You don't get it do you? Don't look at what he's doing now, (cough) you've gotta understand what he wants to do. His actions now may seem bad, (cough) but he's got the best interests of the people in mind.
GOUDY: Mario "The Butcher" Antonelli has the interests of the people in mind. Ha! Tell me another one.
CONTACT: Bwahahah! Antonelli? Don't make me laugh. You think Antonelli is behind this? That cannoli-chomping geezer? Antonelli is small potatoes. (cough) Antonelli isn't fit to lick the boots of... (cough)
GOUDY: Who? He isn't fit to lick the boots of who? Damn. He's dead. I've gotta go see Coop.
(Goudy walks off as the camera pans over to the next room.)
KLAUS: Abby, verking late again I zee!
ABBY: Dr. Klaus. What are you doing here?
KLAUS: Just came by to zee how my favorite assistant iz do-ink!
ABBY: I'm fine. It's hard to work on these books over all this factory noise, but I'm doing my best.
KLAUS: Why von't you come verk as my personal assistant?
ABBY: I've told you, underground drill production is my life. My father worked at an underground drill factory, and so did his father before that. It's in my blood.
KLAUS: Da. Da. So tell me about this private detective you're seeing.
ABBY: Goudy? He's great. So adventurous. So dreamy.
KLAUS: I'm wery interested in speakink with him. I zhink he could be... of great use to me.
ABBY: Why?
KLAUS: I'll explain another time, comrade. Why don't zee two of you come over to my mansion for dinner tomorrow night?
ABBY: I'll tell Goudy.
KLAUS: Sehr gut! Well, I must run off now! Auf widersehen!

Scene 2 - Bar
(goudy and coop standing in front of bar, TV is on, there is a bartender)
TV ANNOUNCER: Crime has always been a problem for this city, but never has it been this this bad.  Strangely, crime has spiked in just three areas of town: the Downtown District, the Midtown Midway, and the Uptown Underpass. Rampant crime and increased pollution from factories downtown have driven property values down, upsetting local landowners.
MAN ON TV: I've owned this apartment complex for years, and now the property is so broken down that the building is condemned and I've had to sell for cheap.
TV ANNOUNCER: Landowners in three areas are in a rush to sell their land, and most of it has already been sold.  In chemistry news, people everywhere are asking, "What is Positronium-356?" (click)
BARTENDER: I've had enough of the news for one evening.
GOUDY: I don't know where to go with this case. If Antonelli isn't behind all this, then I'm at a loss for what to do next.
COOP: Maybe that news story is somehow related...
GOUDY: How do you mean?
COOP: Well, kid, is there any connection between what you've seen so far and what that story was about?
GOUDY: You mean Positronium-356?
COOP: No. That has nothing to do with this.
GOUDY: Sorry, just a hunch... Of course! The apartment complex with all the vandalisms is right in the middle of the Midtown Midway, and the drill factory is in the Downtown District. So someone is causing the crime to drive property values down?
COOP: Perhaps.
GOUDY: Well, how does that tell me what I need to do next?
COOP: What about the Uptown Underpass?
GOUDY: You know there is a mysteriously abandoned warehouse in that area. I could start there and look around for clues.
COOP: (smiling) Good idea.
GOUDY: Why don't you come with me?
COOP: Oh, I don't know what good an old detective like me would do on a dangerous case like this. Besides, I have my retirement to plan for.
GOUDY: You can't be serious about the retirement. I'll take over the agency if you want, but I could definitely still use your help as a partner.
COOP: Don't worry, I'll still be around. Now you'd better get to that warehouse.
GOUDY: Yes, sir!

Level 4 - End Scene - Warehouse
GOUDY: This place was crawling with goons, and these guys were no street thugs. I searched from top to bottom and found nothing! What does it all mean? Who would have the resources to pull off a huge job like this? The Mayor! He's definitely got the resources and as head of the city planning commission he could have some interest in buying up cheap land and then zoning it for lucrative land deals. And there have been charges of mob ties against him. Damn. I've no time to investigate tomorrow since I've got that dinner with Abby at Dr. Klaus Ivanovich's mansion tomorrow night. Once Sunday rolls around, I'm taking on city hall!




Scene 3 - Klaus's Mansion
KLAUS: Hello Abby! And you mahst be Goudy Stout; I've heard much about your talented detective verk.
GOUDY: I do my best.
ABBY: Could you tell me where the powder room is?
KLAUS: Down zee hall on zee left.
ABBY: Thank you.
(Abby leaves)
GOUDY: That's an interesting accent you have there, Doctor. Where are you from?
KLAUS: Meine mother vaz German and mein vater vaz Russian. Zhey met in America of all places where meine mother, an heir to the Krupp fortune, vaz staying for Spring Break. Mein vater, a brilliant beezniz-man, vaz travelling through zee area taking daguerrotypes of zee young partygoers to sell back in Mother Russia. Zhey met on zee beach when zee cuff of zee pant leg of meine mother's svihmsuit vaz torn off by a rowdy partygoer -- mein vater stepped in and engaged in fisticuffs with zee troublemaker. Afterwards they spent a vheek at her hotel together. Neither of them spoke the other's language, and they didn't know English either. They slowly learned the basics of the other's language, thinking that the other was speaking English. It took them two weeks to realize that neither of them were American...
GOUDY: ...zzzZZZzzz...
KLAUS: Well, if that story bores you, let's turn zee discussion to something more interesting. Do you consider yourself to be a man of values, Goudy?
GOUDY: What is this, some sort of philisophical conversation? I tell ya I'm no philosopher.
KLAUS: You know more zhan you zhink. Do you consider yourself a man of values?
GOUDY: Yes, I do.
KLAUS: Does a man of values do vhat is right, vhatever zee cost?
GOUDY: Absolutely.
KLAUS: Does he put the common good before himself?
GOUDY: Yes.
KLAUS: What if zee cost of doing good is great?
GOUDY: What do you mean?
KLAUS: What if doing good means destroying?
GOUDY: What?!
KLAUS: What if doing good means destroying lives?
GOUDY: It can't really be good if it means destroying lives!
KLAUS: Is that true, though? If you could save zee world from certain doom by destroying a few zhousand people, wouldn't you seize that opportunity?
GOUDY: No, I wouldn't. I'm not the man that decides when people die!
KLAUS: But you have killed haven't you?
GOUDY: That's only in self defense.
KLAUS: But wouldn't you be defending yourself and zee whole world in zee situation I'm presenting.
GOUDY: It's not that simple.
KLAUS: It can be.
GOUDY: You're sick, a real quack, Doc. I'm outta here. Tell Abby I'll call her later.
KLAUS: Won't you stay for bratwurst and vodka? The main course is spicy beef noodle with tendon and pork skin!
(Goudy leaves. Abby walks in.)
ABBY: Where'd Goudy go?
KLAUS: I zhink he doesn't like zee Germans...

Level 5 - Beginning Scene - City Hall
GOUDY: I finally know who's behind all this... The Mayor
GOUDY: I'm going to beat some information out of these City Hall Pencil Pushers
GOUDY: All 171 of them.

Scene 4 - Fourth Eye Detective Agency
COOP: Dammit Goudy! Why'd you go take on City Hall without talking to me first. You're lucky the Mayor is an old golfing buddy of mine or you'd be in shackles right now.
GOUDY: What can I say? I had a hunch.
COOP: You and your hunches. One moment I think you're almost clarevoyant with your hunches and then you go and pull a stunt like this.
GOUDY: Claire who?
COOP: Eh, nevermind. Just promise me you'll be more careful in the future.
GOUDY: Yeah, yeah. I've got a meeting to get to.

Level 6 - Beginning Scene - Subway
GOUDY: So why would Dr. Klaus want to meet me in this broken down subway? It hasn't been running in twenty years.
ABBY: It does seem a little strange.
GOUDY: I don't trust this Dr. Klaus character.
(A lackey walks onscreen.)
LACKEY: Hey Goudy! Dr. Klaus has a message for you: (he fires) DIE!!!
(Goudy dodges and Abby runs off.)
ABBY: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Level 6 - Midlevel Scene - Subway
GOUDY: Well, look who it is, Ms. Abagail Peterson! What a piece of work! Some crooks steal money, but you stole my heart.
ABBY: I didn't know, Goudy. You've got to believe me.
GOUDY: Don't try that act on me again, sweet cheeks. You played me like a game of table tennis. At first it's all sweaty action, but before you know it you're ten points down and running all over looking for your balls.
ABBY: You can't think I'm involved in this!
GOUDY: I bet you and Klaus will be very happy together.
ABBY: Don't leave me here Goudy; you've got to protect me. (weeps) Please.
GOUDY: The waterworks won't work on me, peaches. This all-day sucker is down to the soggy white stick.

Level 6 - End Scene - Subway
GOUDY: The abandoned warehouse? Of course, it all makes sense! Klaus is behind everything. He's been causing all the crime lately so he can buy up the property. This abandoned warehouse was probably a base of operations. What was with the meeting at his mansion? Did he want me to join him in his plan? When he found out I was getting to close he wanted me dead. What is his big plan anyway? Why would he want all this land? I'd better tell Coop.

Scene 5 - Fourth Eye Detective Agency
(Goudy runs in)
GOUDY: I solved the case, Coop! It's Dr. Klaus Ivanovich! He's been causing crime and buying up the land!
COOP: ...
GOUDY: Come on! Let's get to his mansion! I found a secret entrance to it through the abandoned subway... Why aren't you coming?
COOP: Remember city hall, Goudy? You see what your hunches get you into. I can't go running off on these wild goose chases with you anymore. I'm two days until retirement.
GOUDY: Well, I'm going even if you don't think I can do it.
(Goudy leaves.)
COOP: ... I know you can do it, Goudy... Good luck...

Level 7 - End Scene - Mansion
(Goudy runs in.)
ABBY: GOUDY!!!
KLAUS: Don't come any closer, Goudy, or you can say goodbye to young Abby.
GOUDY: Abby, I'm sorry. I should've trusted you.
KLAUS: Yes, you should have. But it's too late now. Get down on your knees.
GOUDY: Just don't hurt her!
(Goudy kneels and we end the scene.)

Scene 6 - Rescue at the Mansion
KLAUS: If I press this big red button, you two will be crushed by those big spikes there.
ABBY: NOOOOO!!!!
GOUDY: Why, Klaus? Why?
KLAUS: Do you know about Positronium-356, comrade? One gram of it can power an automobile for 500 of your American miles. With enough Positronium-356 a man could power the world.
GOUDY: What's wrong with good old fashioned gasoline?
KLAUS: Petrol vhon't be around forever. There is enough Positronium-356 in the world to provide enough power for humankind until the end of time.
ABBY: I've been keeping up with the Drilling Quarterly, they haven't been able to find more than an atom of it anywhere in the world.
KLAUS: I'm sure you've figured it out by now, Goudy.
GOUDY: My God... Klaus has found a huge deposit of Positronium-356 beneath the city. He's been buying up the land so that he can control the mineral rights and be the world's only supplier. How'd you manage to stumble upon that, Klaus?
KLAUS: It was no accident, Goudy. It took unfettered genius to unlock the secret of the power below. I discovered how to generate Positronium-356 years ago, but I didn't have the resources or the raw minerals to do it. Only a city like this produces enough raw mineral waste to convert into Positronium-356.
GOUDY: You're mad!
KLAUS: Am I? With that much power we could end world hunger -- stop poverty. I thought you would agree with me in that, I had a hunch that you could help me in my quest.
GOUDY: You're no humanitarian! You're murderous, and power-hungry!
KLAUS: I grow tired of you. Just try and stop me now!!!
(Klaus advances towards the button as Coop bursts in and shoots him.)
COOP: Allow me!
GOUDY: Coop! You came!
(Coop walks down and frees Goudy and Abby.)
COOP: I take back what I said, Goudy... You're... You're the best damn detective I've ever worked with.
GOUDY: Well, I had a good teacher.
ABBY: Thank you so much for saving us!
COOP: All in a day's work...miss?
ABBY: Peterson... Abagail Peterson.
GOUDY: Heh... Back off, Coop, she's mine.
COOP: Ha! I don't think I'd have a chance with a sassy broad like her.
ABBY: Well, I do have a thing for detectives...
GOUDY: Let's get out of here before this conversation goes any further...
(They walk out and Coop gets shot. Klaus runs offscreen.)
COOP: Goudy... -cough- Two days until retirement... 
GOUDY: Coop...
COOP: Goudy... Get him for me...
(Coop dies...)
GOUDY: KLAUS!!!
(Goudy runs after Klaus.)

Scene 7 - Funeral
GOUDY: He was a great man. He wouldn't been able to live without detective work, I know it. We're the same, he and I. It was his life. It's my life now.
ABBY: There's more to life, Goudy. It isn't all about the scum of the streets -- there's beauty, too.
GOUDY: Coop always found happiness at the bottom of a bottle.
ABBY: Coop may have been a great man, but you don't have to be just like him.
GOUDY: God... The first time we met I saved your life, and all you've been trying to do since is save mine. I love you, Abby.
ABBY: I love you, too, Goudy.