CS Major. Terminally polyamorous (relationship anarchist). Has a Headphone Problem.
FreshMan year (2011-2012) Kevin was an Atwoodite (ProctorSuite 106) and ThirdFloorEastie Westie Sontague. Roommates: Chris Brown and Aaron Rosenthal
SophoMore year he became an actual Eastie. Fancy that. Roommate: GeorgeAspesi
As of Spring 2013, Kevin withdrew from classes before the end of the semester as a means to avoid being officially InvitedToRetire -- don't worry though, he'll probably be back. No, he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing.
Kevin is no longer sure what he is, or where he will be living. ADVENTURE
Update: Junior year he became SophoMore 2: Electric Boogaloo. (Luckily I technically took a full year off, so I still might graduate without going SuperSenior?!) For the Spring of 2014, he lived in West 420. Single, fuck yeah!
Actual Junior year, he lived in South Anti-Proctor suite with Evan Khan, Caitlin Lienkaemper, and Gourav Khadge.
SENIOR YEAR LOUNGETROLL. Suitemate: AdamDunlap. But Kevin's on the right-hand side, AKA the real LoungeTroll. :B
Participated in West's candlelight vigil for the loss of their fire(pit). Where Were You When The Fire Died?
Enjoys adding a little bit more surreality to the lives of those around him.
Does not sleep. Rarely eats. Runs on batteries. Is robot. Has emotions. Attraction Chip needs driver update (excessive power consumption).
Good at making Mac 'n' Cheese. [Endorsed by MaxHlavacek]
Can make EVERYTHING IN A RICE COOKER :O
Participated in the SeniorPuzzle? in Spring of 2015
Kevin, much like the PowerGlove?, both loves himself and is so bad.
Kevin did in fact make the above header as big and obnoxious as possible just because he could. Edit: now slightly less big and obnoxious
Kevin is also known as "The Swag Dragon" , "The Dread Captain" , "McSwiggles?" , (concatenate as necessary).
Kevin has been officially dubbed (by everyone who was there at the time) "Vice Frosh".
Kevin can (and perhaps should?) be considered akin to Chekhov's Gun. Put THAT one in your mouth and chew on it!
"The Kevin is a Furry Bucket Challenge" --Thorin Sorensen
Kevin wants to take you to a gay bar
Kevin is an Ocean Of Grog
Kevin wants to be friends with you. Really.
Did you know that the plural of 'beef' is 'beeves'?
PurityScore (assume online 500-question unless otherwise stated):
10/02/11: 70.0 (first Vice!)
10/14/11: 65.6 (East Dorm fall break purity testing version)
12/17/11: 59.4 (Post-finals!)
12/21/11: 57.6 (administering the test mid winter-break at an undisclosed location in Colorado)
02/11/12: 58.8 (previous probably inaccurate)
03/14/12: 55.2 (fuckballs)
08/19/12: 54.2 (slowly but surely)
10/19/12: 53.0 (East dorm purity test, but not counting the two east-specific questions. would be 52.6)
12/22/12: 51.2 (Before winter break)
01/03/13: 49.4 (mid-winter break, fuck yeah!)
10/28/13: 46.0 ( :( )
04/29/14: 44.6 (Soon...)
09/07/15: 36.8 (Shit, I missed some data points. WHOOPS)
06/01/16: 34.8 (Recent grad :v)