See also BestShmackEver

 Date: Fri, 28 Jan 2000 16:50:54 -0800 (PST)
 From: EmilyCukier <ecukier@orion.ac.hmc.edu>
 To: Hungry_Octopi <east-dorm-chat-l@hmc.edu>
 Subject: East Dorm Infocom


 Hixon Court
 You have entered Hixon Court, the small stone plaza outside of the
 academic complex.  There are a few picnic tables and chairs here, but the
 late hour leaves it deserted.  In the center of the court is a fountain.

 The fountain consists of a statue of Venus on a pedestal.  Organisms
 that look oddly familiar (probably from Biology lab) seem to be growing on
 it, as well as in the water itself.  The water lilies are closed, but most
 of the plant life is thriving.  

 What do you want to drink?

 It's not that kind of fountain.  And besides: Nast!

 Venus looks extremely embarrassed to be caught naked in public.

 You can see some Koi in the pond.

 Don't even think about it.  Those Koi are worth more than you are.

 The Koi are oversized goldfish, but come in different colors.  Some are
 nearly black, a few white with black patches, and most white with red or
 orange highlights.  You notice the Koi gathering nearby to stare back at 
 you, their large mouths nearly breaching the surface of the water.
 Feeling somewhat uneasy, you back away.


 Willis Plaza
 You have entered another plaza, though this one is so unadorned that few
 people even know it has a name.  You can follow the sidewalk in many


 Sidewalk, near Kingston
 You are standing in front of Kingston Hall.  This is where the
 administrators dwell, screwing up your financial aid files and ensuring
 that the PreFrosh don't get scared away.  The very sight makes you


 Sidewalk, near Pool
 You are standing near a structure encased in iron bars.  Looking inside,
 you can see the Mudd outdoor pool.  Unfortunately it's too late to go for
 a swim, but you've heard rumors of people sneaking in during the darkest
 hours and taking a swim while clothed just like Venus.  This sounds like a
 good candidate for BadIdea.com.
 You are feeling tired.


 Sidewalk, near West
 You see a U-shaped dorm to your right.  More accurately, you HEAR a dorm
 on your right.  Big bass speakers nearly shake the foundations of the
 building.  Sneaking a quick glance, you can see a crowd of Westies in the
 courtyard.  They are laughing (they seem a bit too cheerful...) and
 sitting on top of a big wooden spool.  You've heard a bit about this
 spool, but know enough not to ask.


 Sidewalk, near East
 To your right is another U-shaped dorm, though this one somewhat quieter.
 Better music plays from the big speakers, but these don't rock the
 foundations like those at West.  In the courtyard are several different
 types of nerds, doing many nerdly things.  A few of them are juggling
 clubs or balls, some are on unicycles, some are whacking each other with
 large blunt objects, some are doing homework on couches, and a few towards
 the back are playing some peculiar variant of chess involving two boards
 and 24 checkers.


 The Courtyard
 You have entered East Dorm courtyard.  Yellow caution tape can't actually
 prevent you from walking on the grass, but you refrain from doing so out
 of courtesy.  You have to dodge clubs as you walk, both flying ones and
 the ones on the ground.

 The Chessers players are far too engrossed in their game to notice you.
 You observe for a few minutes, but find yourself getting a headache
 whenever you try to work out the complicated rules.


 The Lounge
 This is EastDormLounge, complete with fuscia corduroy couches.  There
 are two or three lounge lizards here, either doing crossword puzzles,
 reading, or just plain asleep on the couches.  You snicker when you think
 of the corduroy lines some of the sleepers will be wearing when they wake
 In the back of the lounge is a garbage can, several recycling centers, a
 drinking fountain, some vending machines, and a refrigerator.  In one
 corner is a pinball machine.

 What do you want to drink?

 The water is Claremont water, of course, but it's drinkable.

 It's not open.

 You open the refrigerator.

 You are nearly blown backwards against the counter by the overpowering
 stench.  Nearly all of the "food" inside is old, and unlabeled.
 There are ancient pieces of fruit, leftover Chinese food, and twenty-seven
 different condiments in the door.  Some of the things towards the
 back resemble experiments from Biology Lab that went hideously awry.  You
 seriously consider the possibility that some of the leftovers have
 achieved sentience, and close the door in a hurry.

 You sigh.

 The vending machines are well-stocked, thanks to EDC.  They have coin
 slots, levers, and buttons to push to choose your soda.

 Nothing happens.

 A quarter jingles down into the coin return.  Woohoo!

 You take the quarter from the vending machine.

 Unfortunately Pinbot has a broken flipper, so you can't play right now.
 It's just as well - you need that quarter for laundry.
 You are feeling tired.

 I beg your pardon?


 The Courtyard

 Did you have any particular room in mind?


 Your Room
 This is your room.  You'd recognize it anywhere, although strangely enough
 this is still the only place where you've found it.  The place is a
 pigsty, as usual.  The bed is unmade, the desk is completely cluttered,
 and there are several pieces of underwear lying around that don't seem to
 belong to either you or your roommate.

 It's really cluttered.  The computer is just about the only thing you can
 identify, probably because it's so big and clunky.

 It's already on.

 Moving around all your old, useless assignments and papers of last
 semester, you manage to find a packet of M&M's from the MuddHole.

 The packet isn't open.

 I beg your pardon?

 I'm sorry, I don't know the word "spork."

 You sigh.

 You rip open the packet of M&M's, spilling a few on the floor.

 You retrieve the fallen candies from the floor.  Good thing for the
 five-second rule, eh?

 Ahh, sugar.  One of the best ways to combat the Platt matter still
 wallowing in your stomach.

 Your e-mail is blissfully free of political arguments, although the Mudd
 administration seems to enjoy sending you information that you don't need.
 You automatically delete the 5-C sports update.  The rest of the mail is
 mostly shmack: a few humorous websites, an announcement for a party or
 two, but mostly just frosh being weird.

 You find something silly to say, and hope your dormmates won't spam you
 for it.

 You lie down on the floor.  It's not very comfortable, much less clean.

 You can't.  You're lying down on the floor.

 You slowly regain your feet.

 Pushing the covers aside, you lie down.  The mattress isn't great, but
 you're too tired to notice.

 You sigh.

 You're so sleep-depped that you manage to fall right to sleep.  Sweet

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