See also
BestShmackEver
Date: Fri, 28 Jan 2000 16:50:54 -0800 (PST)
From: EmilyCukier <ecukier@orion.ac.hmc.edu>
To: Hungry_Octopi <east-dorm-chat-l@hmc.edu>
Subject: East Dorm Infocom
>EXIT
Hixon Court
You have entered Hixon Court, the small stone plaza outside of the
academic complex. There are a few picnic tables and chairs here, but the
late hour leaves it deserted. In the center of the court is a fountain.
>EXAMINE FOUNTAIN
The fountain consists of a statue of Venus on a pedestal. Organisms
that look oddly familiar (probably from Biology lab) seem to be growing on
it, as well as in the water itself. The water lilies are closed, but most
of the plant life is thriving.
>DRINK
What do you want to drink?
>DRINK FROM FOUNTAIN
It's not that kind of fountain. And besides: Nast!
>EXAMINE STATUE
Venus looks extremely embarrassed to be caught naked in public.
>LOOK IN POND
You can see some Koi in the pond.
>THROW PENNY IN POND
Don't even think about it. Those Koi are worth more than you are.
>EXAMINE KOI
The Koi are oversized goldfish, but come in different colors. Some are
nearly black, a few white with black patches, and most white with red or
orange highlights. You notice the Koi gathering nearby to stare back at
you, their large mouths nearly breaching the surface of the water.
Feeling somewhat uneasy, you back away.
>U
Willis Plaza
You have entered another plaza, though this one is so unadorned that few
people even know it has a name. You can follow the sidewalk in many
directions.
>SE
Sidewalk, near Kingston
You are standing in front of Kingston Hall. This is where the
administrators dwell, screwing up your financial aid files and ensuring
that the PreFrosh don't get scared away. The very sight makes you
shudder.
>E
Sidewalk, near Pool
You are standing near a structure encased in iron bars. Looking inside,
you can see the Mudd outdoor pool. Unfortunately it's too late to go for
a swim, but you've heard rumors of people sneaking in during the darkest
hours and taking a swim while clothed just like Venus. This sounds like a
good candidate for BadIdea.com.
You are feeling tired.
>E
Sidewalk, near West
You see a U-shaped dorm to your right. More accurately, you HEAR a dorm
on your right. Big bass speakers nearly shake the foundations of the
building. Sneaking a quick glance, you can see a crowd of Westies in the
courtyard. They are laughing (they seem a bit too cheerful...) and
sitting on top of a big wooden spool. You've heard a bit about this
spool, but know enough not to ask.
>E
Sidewalk, near East
To your right is another U-shaped dorm, though this one somewhat quieter.
Better music plays from the big speakers, but these don't rock the
foundations like those at West. In the courtyard are several different
types of nerds, doing many nerdly things. A few of them are juggling
clubs or balls, some are on unicycles, some are whacking each other with
large blunt objects, some are doing homework on couches, and a few towards
the back are playing some peculiar variant of chess involving two boards
and 24 checkers.
>S
The Courtyard
You have entered East Dorm courtyard. Yellow caution tape can't actually
prevent you from walking on the grass, but you refrain from doing so out
of courtesy. You have to dodge clubs as you walk, both flying ones and
the ones on the ground.
>WATCH CHESSERS
The Chessers players are far too engrossed in their game to notice you.
You observe for a few minutes, but find yourself getting a headache
whenever you try to work out the complicated rules.
>ENTER LOUNGE
The Lounge
This is EastDormLounge, complete with fuscia corduroy couches. There
are two or three lounge lizards here, either doing crossword puzzles,
reading, or just plain asleep on the couches. You snicker when you think
of the corduroy lines some of the sleepers will be wearing when they wake
up.
In the back of the lounge is a garbage can, several recycling centers, a
drinking fountain, some vending machines, and a refrigerator. In one
corner is a pinball machine.
>DRINK
What do you want to drink?
>DRINK FROM FOUNTAIN
The water is Claremont water, of course, but it's drinkable.
>LOOK IN REFRIGERATOR
It's not open.
>OPEN REFRIGERATOR
You open the refrigerator.
>LOOK IN FRIDGE
You are nearly blown backwards against the counter by the overpowering
stench. Nearly all of the "food" inside is old, and unlabeled.
There are ancient pieces of fruit, leftover Chinese food, and twenty-seven
different condiments in the door. Some of the things towards the
back resemble experiments from Biology Lab that went hideously awry. You
seriously consider the possibility that some of the leftovers have
achieved sentience, and close the door in a hurry.
>SIGH
You sigh.
>EXAMINE VENDING MACHINES
The vending machines are well-stocked, thanks to EDC. They have coin
slots, levers, and buttons to push to choose your soda.
>PUSH BUTTONS
Nothing happens.
>PULL LEVER
A quarter jingles down into the coin return. Woohoo!
>GET QUARTER
You take the quarter from the vending machine.
>PLAY PINBALL
Unfortunately Pinbot has a broken flipper, so you can't play right now.
It's just as well - you need that quarter for laundry.
You are feeling tired.
>SO WHAT ELSE IS NEW?
I beg your pardon?
>EXIT
The Courtyard
>GO TO ROOM
Did you have any particular room in mind?
>GO TO MY ROOM
Your Room
This is your room. You'd recognize it anywhere, although strangely enough
this is still the only place where you've found it. The place is a
pigsty, as usual. The bed is unmade, the desk is completely cluttered,
and there are several pieces of underwear lying around that don't seem to
belong to either you or your roommate.
>EXAMINE DESK
It's really cluttered. The computer is just about the only thing you can
identify, probably because it's so big and clunky.
>TURN ON COMPUTER
It's already on.
>SEARCH DESK
Moving around all your old, useless assignments and papers of last
semester, you manage to find a packet of M&M's from the MuddHole.
>EAT M&M'S
The packet isn't open.
>SPORK YOU
I beg your pardon?
>SPORK YOU
I'm sorry, I don't know the word "spork."
>SIGH
You sigh.
>OPEN PACKET
You rip open the packet of M&M's, spilling a few on the floor.
>GET M&M'S
You retrieve the fallen candies from the floor. Good thing for the
five-second rule, eh?
>EAT M&M'S
Ahh, sugar. One of the best ways to combat the Platt matter still
wallowing in your stomach.
>CHECK E-MAIL
Your e-mail is blissfully free of political arguments, although the Mudd
administration seems to enjoy sending you information that you don't need.
You automatically delete the 5-C sports update. The rest of the mail is
mostly shmack: a few humorous websites, an announcement for a party or
two, but mostly just frosh being weird.
>POST TO SHMACK
You find something silly to say, and hope your dormmates won't spam you
for it.
>LIE DOWN
You lie down on the floor. It's not very comfortable, much less clean.
>LIE DOWN ON BED
You can't. You're lying down on the floor.
>STAND
You slowly regain your feet.
>LIE DOWN ON BED
Pushing the covers aside, you lie down. The mattress isn't great, but
you're too tired to notice.
>SIGH
You sigh.
>SLEEP
You're so sleep-depped that you manage to fall right to sleep. Sweet
dreams.
-Emily