SPORTS! You'll be good at them! It's an energy drink for men! MENERGY! These aren't your dad's puns, these are energy puns, TURBOPUNS!
SCIENCE, ENERGY, SCIENCE, ENERGY, ELECTROLYTES, TURBOLYTES, POWERLYTES, more LYTES than YOUR BODY HAS ROOM FOR! You'll be so fast mother nature will be like: "SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWNNNNN!", and you'll be like: "FUCK YOU!" and kick her in the face with your ENERGY LEGS!
You'll have so much energy, ENERGY just running ALL THE TIME! POWERRUNNING, POWERLIFTING, POWERSLEEPING, POWERDATING, POWEREATING, POWERLAUGHING, POWERSPAWNING BABIES! You'll have so many babies! FOUR HUNDRED BABIES! Give shockolate to your babies and they'll be good at sports! Make your babies run ABNORMALLY FAST! They'll run as fast as KENYANS! People will watch them running and think they're KENYANS! They'll race as fast as KENYANS against actual KENYANS and there'll be a tie and they'll get deported back to KENYA!
HEY! Go with the sure thing, don't gamble on YOUR energy. SNAKE EYES! Try PowerThirst, the energy drink that will make you SPORTS !