Once upon a time, a couple of friends, Proctor A and President B, decided that they wanted to smoke some pot. After deciding that this was definitely a GoodIdea, they went to Student C looking for a hook up. While Student C had the necessary equipment, she was lacking the fundamental ingredient: the pot. However, Student C was also eager to find someone with pot, so the three friends agreed to search for pot together.

TheGreatPotAdventure began on a Saturday night. Proctor D supplied the phone number for Proctor E, who was known to smoke pot on occasion. Given the proctor-proctor connection, the friends agreed that this was a good place to start. However, Proctor A was too nervous to ask Proctor E for pot, so the friends started the hunt by looking for Student F in Dorm G. On the way, they ran into Student H, who showed them to Student F’s room. When they discovered that Student F wasn’t around, Student H offered to help the group, asking what they were looking for. The group giggled, said they just wanted to ask Student F a question, and then left.

From there, the group wandered over to Dorm I looking for Proctor E. However, Proctor E was nowhere to be found. Faced with a dead end, the group nearly gave up for the evening, until they decided to go back to Dorm G and ask Student H if he knew where to get some pot. Student H was very happy to help, jumping up from his chair and leading the way upstairs to a frosh room. The FreshMen, who were stoned, told Student H that they had just sold him some that morning, but after realizing that the pot was for a different group, stated that they didn’t have enough to sell. Disheartened, the group left, with Student H’s apologies, and went to Dorm J.

After a bit of discussion, President B finally called Proctor E using Proctor A’s cell phone and left a message, pretending to be Proctor A. From there, the group decided it would be reasonable to go back to Dorm I and ask around for Proctor E. When no one had claimed to have seen Proctor E that evening, the group moved on to Dorm K, looking for a potential seller. Seeing that Dorm K was fairly empty, and sketchy, the group decided to return to Dorm J. On the way, Proctor A called the proctor of Dorm K (Proctor L), asking if she had seen Proctor E that evening, and stating that she was just being “a creepy stalker”… several times. After much giggling, and no luck, President B again used Proctor A’s phone to call Proctor M and leave a message asking for Proctor E, pretending to be Proctor A.

In Dorm J, the group decided that it was a valiant effort, but they would have to try again another night. So, Student C went off to do something else, but Student N came out to join in on the fun. The new group of Proctor A, President B, and Student N loitered around Dorm J for a while, then went to check out Dorm O and hang out in Proctor A’s room. While sitting in that room, Proctor E called Proctor A, who handed the phone to President B, who answered and again pretended to be Proctor A. The conversation went something like this:

President B: “Hey [Proctor E], what’s up?” Proctor E: “You called me earlier?” “Yeah, are you on Mudd? I wanted to ask you a question.” “Yeah, I just got back.” “Is it okay if I stop by your room?” “Ummmm…. Yeaaah… suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure. Well, is it a big thing, or a quick question, because I’m on my way to Jay’s and I could just stop by.” “Yeah, it’s just a short question. That will work. See you soon.” “Okay, see ya.”

After hearing that Proctor E was on his way over, Proctor A freaked out that Student C, the more knowledgeable one of the original group with regards to pot, wasn’t there. So, she started running over to Dorm J, stopped halfway at President B’s urging, and ran back, all within view of Proctor E, who was walking down the sidewalk. When Proctor E finally arrived at Dorm O, he saw the group standing around and asked what was up, looking a little nervous. President B decided to be blunt and asked, “Heyyy, [Proctor E]…. So, can you hook us up with some pot?” Proctor E immediately started grinning, and laughing, asking if that was actually President B’s question and if the group was serious. He had assumed that there was some crisis with a frosh and there were problems to be dealt with, but after hearing the real question, he was incredulous that Proctor A was looking to partake in such a scandalous activity. After Proctor E’s surprise that he was Proctor A’s go-to guy, the explanation that Proctor E had been talking to President B the whole time, many more amusing comments, Proctor E stated that he didn’t actually have much pot, but pointed the group to Student P in Dorm K.

Thanking Proctor E, the group returned to Dorm J to find Student C, who was not in her room or answering her phone. Fortunately, Student C rejoined the group shortly afterward, and together they strolled over to Dorm K. However, the suite they were supposed to be looking in was filled with people playing beer pong, and Student P did not appear to be present. Dismayed, the group wandered behind Dorm K to decide what to do next. President B called Proctor E, using her own phone, but Proctor E did not answer. Instead, the group went to ask Proctor L to show them into the suite.

On the way to Proctor L’s room, the group ran into two completely smashed girls who were stumbling all over and yelling very loudly. There were also two guys, one very wobbly and ill-looking, and one who appeared marginally more sober. The group knocked on Proctor L’s door, just before hearing vomiting sounds coming from the wobbly male, who was now sitting in a chair, puking on the floor of the Dorm K lounge. Proctor L (who was all dressed up and ready to go out) answered, and the group told her of their quest, and their hesitance to go into the suite. Proctor L was highly amused, and asked if the group wanted the pot for smoking or just to have, because “knowing [Proctor A], it doesn’t seem that unusual of a thing to do.” President B stated that the group wanted to smoke it, and also that there was an ever-growing pile of vomit in the lounge. Proctor L peeked her head out of her suite, got a horrified look on her face, and started doing her proctorly duties… by calling another proctor to deal with it. Unfortunately, Proctor Q (of Dorm G, the dorm to which the sick student belonged to) was in Vegas for the weekend and unable to help with the ill student. So, doing the more fun activity first, Proctor L took the group downstairs and into Student P’s suite. Student P still wasn’t there, but Proctor E was! Proctor E was even more amused to see the group following Proctor L around, still looking for pot. In fact, everyone was amused at this point (who wouldn’t be?). Proctor E was also sorry when the group realized that there was still no prospect of acquiring pot. So, Proctor L went back to the ill student and the group left Dorm K, deciding to try again another night.

On the walk back, Proctor E caught up to the group with some most excellent news: Proctor E’s friend, Scrippsie R, had some pot that she’d be willing to sell to the group! The group was so excited to hear such good news, so the six people, Proctor A, President B, Student C, Student N, Proctor E, and Scrippsie R, went to Scrippsie R’s room to check out her stash. During the entire walk over, there was quite a bit of giggling, and many more comments from Proctor E passing judgment at Proctor A, planning to bring it up at the next proctor meeting, and laughing at where the group’s expeditions had taken them up to that point.

When the group got to Scrippsie R’s room, she pulled out her stash and offered the group half of it, but she didn’t know how much to charge for it. In fact, no one knew what a good price was, so everyone settled on $15 (which seemed to most people to be a pretty good deal for the amount). The group thanked Scrippsie R, and walked back to Dorm J (not before getting lost in Scrippsie R’s dorm). On the way, President B called Proctor D to inform him of their success. When the group got back, they sat down and told Proctor D of the entire evening’s pot adventure, much to his amusement. It was after that retelling that the group decided this epic evening deserved to be forever enshrined in FunWiki.

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Last edited October 26, 2010 22:56 (diff)