ThePineConeIncident

This is a story from West from nigh ancient times. On the nearby campus of Scripps there exists a fountain, and in that fountain there exists a peculiar and detachable piece of statuary: the pinecone. Ever since the installation of the pinecone, the westies had held a great longing to possess the thing, like they possessed the street signs of various nearby towns and other trophies from their rampant looting. However, when the ScrippSies became aware of their longing, they became vigilant, and jealously guarded the ownership of the pinecone fountainpiece.

Thus, late one night, a band of marauding Westies came by stealth and stole away with the pinecone. But when it was discovered missing, the vigilant (though not vigilant enough) ScrippSies were able to direct CampSec to the likely pinecone thieves. And there they did indeed recover the pinecone, and scolded the Westies. And there was much gnashing of teeth and bitterness amongst the Westies, for still they desired to be masters of the pinecone.

Time passed, and later that year the famed TqNight? (1) party came along. This was the night, decided some Westies, that they would bring the pinecone back in triumph to the dorm, to awe the revelers and celebrate the unofficial party sponsor (2). And again in stealth the Westies descended upon the land of Scripps and made off with the pinecone, and they brought it back to the party and in secret showed the party organizer the prize. The party organizer was a wise Westie, and knew that the theft of the pinecone would not go long unpunished. And the ScrippSies had been more vigilant this time, and noticed the missing pine cone soon after the theft, and sent CampSec back up to West to retrieve it. So the party organizer directed them to get rid of it, lest West be caught with it a second time and official action be taken. And as they departed out the back (Street) side of West carrying the pinecone, CampSec came in the front to speak with the party organizer.

Now, the bearers of the pinecone knew of a suite in East which was famed for its use of bong and pipe, and carried their prize there. Opening the door with care, they noticed four Easties in the greenish haze that permeated the room, oblivious to the opening of their door. Quickly they moved the pinecone into the room, and placed it in the center of the floor, without so much as a comment or notice by the stoned Easties. Then they left, and returned to TqNight?.

There they found the party organizer in conversation with CampSec, and caught the attention of the organizer, and told him they had seen the pinecone in East, and provided a room number. And CampSec went, and there discovered the pinecone amidst four stoned Easties, who only now became aware of what was going on.

Apparently, after the pinecone was stolen yet again in spring 2004, "stealing the pinecone from now on will be reported as grand theft because of its immense value and importance to the Scripps community."

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Footnotes:

• General: The events in this story really happened, sometime within the memory of the class of '98, and was told to Westies my frosh year (which i was at the time). Some of the exact details may be wrong (see (1) below, for example), but nothing substantial is mistaken. The wording is entirely mine however, and the tone (a telling of an old story feel) is a deliberate choice on my part.
• (1) To the best of my ability to recall, the party was TqNight?. As i heard the story more than 5 years ago now, i could be mistaken, but there was definitely a party that night.
• (2) The TqNight?'s unofficial sponsor is, of course, the lemon. But you all knew that already.

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AncientMyth