TheresAKnifeInMyPocket

...dear Liza, dear Liza?

Alt: And yes, I AM happy to see you.

A really silly and morbid song that RyanRiegel and SeleneTan came up with one day. The rhyme and scansion is absolutely horrible, but it's fun. Sung to the tune of "If You're Happy and You Know It"

   There's a knife in my pocket and it's sharp
   There's a knife in my pocket and it's sharp
   There's a knife in my pocket just to help you kick the bucket
   There's a knife in my pocket and it's sharp

   There's a knife in my drawer and it's sharp
   There's a knife in my drawer and it's sharp
   There's a knife in my drawer that will make you bleed all o'er
   There's a knife in my drawer and it's sharp

   There's a knife in my stems book and it's sharp
   There's a knife in my stems book and it's sharp
   There's a knife in my stems book and it really helps my outlook
   There's a knife in my stems book and it's sharp

   There's a broccoli in my pocket and it's green
   There's a broccoli in my pocket and it's green
   There's a broccoli in my pocket but no one's going to mock it
   There's a broccoli in my pocket and it's green

   There's a dagger in my scabbard and it's sharp
   There's a dagger in my scabbard and it's sharp
   There's a dagger in my scabbard to eviscerate your tabard
   There's a dagger in my scabbard and it's sharp.

Feel free to add verses.

   There's a knife in my grave, and it's quick
   There's a knife in my grave, and it's quick
   There's a knife in my grave, 'cuz of my stupid slow grand daiklave
   There's a knife in my grave, and it's quick
       submitted by DuctTapeGuy, reference to Exalted

This probably goes under ThingsYouDontWantToHearYourRoommateSay.