CrappiestCarEver

The CrappiestCarEver in human history was owned by AlexBobbs between January 2001 and August 2002 inclusive. This car was known to the denizens of EastDorm who rode in it to have many distinguishing features that gave the car a great deal of personality, such as:

• Occasionally, the car would play musical tunes or make phone-ringing sounds. No one ever figured out why this happened or what these sounds corresponded to.
• The back doors had the childlocks permanently enabled, and one of them had no handle on the inside. Thus, passengers in the back seats could not let themselves out and were considered "dead".
• The gear shift cover was missing, so the only way to tell what gear you were in was count down from Park.
• Occasionally, the car decided to be picky and only start when it was in neutral. The cause of this was never deduced.
• The speedometer, odometer, fuel gauge, and warning lights were all non-operational.
• The car ran through oil like there was no tommorow, and when it got low, the car would stall everytime you stopped. This led to highly entertaining stop-light incidents.
• The radio was apparently installed by a drunken monkey, as it left visible wires running everywhere, and the radio unit would rattle violently and make it sound as if the car were falling apart. The speakers for the radio were also something of a wonder, in that only the passenger-side one consistently worked, while the others would click on and off.
• The key was permanently stuck in the ignition.
• The switch to open the door to the fuel tank was broken, so to add gas to the car, one had to break open said door with a screwdriver.
• Sometimes the car just did not feel like accelerating. You'd jam the pedal down and the car would slowly inch forward, so you'd have to release the pedal and try again. Third time was usually the charm.

Ah, yes... I miss this car already. However it recently met an unfortunate but merciful death/suicide:

Right when I was preparing to leave home for Mudd, I started the car only to hear a huge KLUNK from under the hood. I then lifted up the hood to find that the engine was there. Knowing nothing about cars, I had no way of further determining the problem, so I proceeded to try start the car, and this time, it started but sounded like it was running at about 10 billion RPM. Hmmm... So I figure something must be stuck and try shifting to see if that solves the problem. The second I hit the "drive" gear, the car rockets forward. Keep in mind that I have not given it any gas at this point, and the brake AND parking brake are on. I managed to stop the car by shifting back into Park. A mechanic later determined that some cable-ma-jingy had gotten caught, and the car, being already a bit low on oil, basically killed itself in this incident.