Joseph, if you shoot anybody, I'll flunk you! -- Professor Amundsen But They're going to kill me! -- Joseph Then I'll flunk Them too! -- Professor Amundsen
I certainly wasn't expecting anything abnormal, like . . . cats . . . -- David Magus Knight
Julie: Large as in large, or large as in "holy crap"? Steph: Large as in "holy crap". Julie: Holy crap!
Is that a raven in your pants, or are you just glad to see me? -- StephGrush
Trogdor the Burninator thinks I'm Keanu Reeves? --JulieWortman
Will: "All in all, not bad for a first effort." I shake his hand. Steph: Oh my god! (rolls dice) . . . Oh my god! Will: . . . can I disbelieve? Steph: You can try . . .
DM: "The deer piss glows faintly at you." Eli: "Well then... if you want the deer piss to glow faintly at you... I am not a man to come between you and your deer piss." Steve: "No, you are a koala headed, seraph winged piece of furniture to come between me and my deer piss."
DM: "He's not responsive." Steve: "Like the previous case? The lights are off and nobody's home?" DM: "More like the light's are on, but he's in another part of the house right now."
Lori: "Amundsen's starting to talk like Meredith, because--" Clay: "Because she hates him?" Lori: ".....Yes."
Eli: "I will be talking to either, or both, or at least one of-- wait a second."
[Professor Meredith and Coach Rett decide that they don't appreciate Dr. Evans' methods of treating traumatized college students. They each take one of his shoulders.] Rett: What are you doing to him? Evans: I'm a doctor; trust me. Rett: Explanation, or Door. Evans: I'm a doctor; trust me! [Meredith and Rett exchange a glance. Dr. Evans gets "Door".] Evans: You're going to kill him . . . [As colander comes off of patient's head, patient begins speaking in tongues. Meredith and Rett decide that "Door" may be a bit premature . . .]
[Edward Reid has just drawn a connection between current events and a set of obscure artifacts dedicated to Greek gods.] Meredith (to Amundsen): You see, Professor, there's my case for putting Classics back in the Core.
Eli: The next time a psychotic road gopher shows up, we'll greet it with a salad.
Clay: Will, stop trying to create Wiki quotes!
Julie [on the Primal]: ...Carl Jung and all his hos?
Cylene: So Meredith cast a magic spell on Evans' dreams, so that a magic chair with magic wings and a magic bear head would show up in them. Amundsen: And a powerpoint presentation. Cylene: I don't think the powerpoint presentation was magic.
Meredith: I will need your help in...scaring my cat.
Julie: I just have this mental image of John Kerry leaping into Kramer's head...
Meredith: This is Epistemology. Ethics is two doors down.
RichardGarfinkel (while sitting in on a session): Wait, is this EyeOfChaos or Schmack?
Amundsen: Presumably we don't get $9.99 off our next purchase from the Cult of the Serpent if we redeem this guy!
Meredith: Are they [the Cult of the Serpent] more or less powerful than -- Cylene: -- a breadbox? Meredith: -- the State of Illinois?
Amundsen: We need to nip this thing in the bud! Reid: Show me the bud, then, and I will nip it!
Cylene: Wait, you mean Athens isn't an ordinary college town? Reid: My dear girl . . . Someone I can't remember, OOC: Do you actually say that?! Clay: Yeah, I do . . . Julie: I smirk.
Amundsen: Professor Meredith, what exactly are you hiding? You seem unusually... polite.
Steph: "Mmm, tastes like Cthulhu!" Will: "Insanely delicious!"
Meredith: Ms. Richards, please stop trying to mess with our professional paranoid.
Edward Reid has just survived being mauled by a giant serpent. Amundsen is not happy. Jeff the Serpent Mage: It was his test to make. Amundsen: And if I'd have stabbed it? Whose test would it have been then? Rett (quietly): Just along for the ride . . .
Regarding Amundsen and Rett, OOC: She's a paranoid; He's a swim coach. Together, they fight crime!
Julie: Let's do the Mind Rape again...
Serpent: I hope never to face you in single combat, mindspeaker; I would also not want to be around when you are buying shoes.
Lori: It starts with an A, and ends in Pocalypse.
Apparently 'Meredith' is a verb meaning 'to exploit.'
See also: EyeOfChaos/OdysseyOfSquirrels
Chapter 2
Lori: I'm trying to devise a thing so that I can put more than one squirrel in a tupperware.
Discussing the relative snakeness or human-ness of the aforementioned giant serpent, a shapeshifter: Rett: I mean, would her [snake] children be able to change into human form? Angela the Serpent Mage: Most likely not. She would need to find a human male . . . (beat) I'm not entirely sure how that would work. (beat) I don't think I'd want to see that.
The party's host in the Astral Plane (JeffBrenion), unaware of the meaning of the term "Dojo," is convinced that Coach Rett runs a brothel. Rett: Sir, I believe we may have a misunderstanding here. The arts I refer to are Martial. Host: (stunned pause) Your people use that for War?! . . . you know, a few more memorable quotes from the session and it might be worth it to make a EyeOfChaos/MartialOrMarital? node. --WillShipley
Emissary: So, five mages walk into the City . . . Umi (as Rett): . . . Ouch. Emissary (chuckling): For the mages, or the City? Umi: Well, I suppose that depends on your skill as a guide . . . Emissary: I think it rather depends whether you follow my guidance.
"Or, she could just politely turn down their offers, and introduce them to her roommate, the high elven lady Mary Suethor." -- LoriThomas
"Please don't take too many trout. The water will go extinct." -- EliBogart
OOC commentary: "Mommy, where do bricks come from?" "You see, child, mortals throw them into the air . . ."
Julie: "Our goal is to Redeem the Lord of Night . . . possibly in the Unreal Tournament sense."
"No convenient identifiers? No ID cards? No personal effects?" -- EliBogart "No diary entries trailing off in 'aaargh?'" -- ClayHambrick
Potential titles for Reid's memoirs
Professor Meredith is being tortured. Dr. Matison: Tell me, Professor . . . what is your sexual orientation? Meredith: I assure you, it is nothing that encompasses you.
Amundsen checks if a party mind-link is secure from eavesdropping: Amundsen: Volen, are you there? . . . Volen, come quickly! The great goobly ooze is back and it's coming to get us! Cylene: Would you stop that?!
Rett: I may have a college education, Joan, but I'm not dumb.
Lori, describing Amundsen's actions on AIM: basically I shout things and taser people
WillShipley: "The jade cat statuette???" For a moment, a look of panic crosses Nolorian's face . . .
Julie: "The salmon???" Lori: "A light mauve."
LoriThomas: "The Eye of Chaos???" "Actually an ear."
Julie: "This dagger is missing something..." All: "A squirrel!"
"We put the 'Naughty' in 'Illuminati!'"
JulieWortman: "The Lead Green Dude???" "Actually blue." (see FuzzyBlueThing, possibly)