RedVsBlue

RedVsBlue is a machinima based off of HaLo. It's hilarious and all of you should watch it.

http://www.redvsblue.com/ (you can help save their bandwith and just download it off the network)

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Simmons: Aha! I knew it! Only a chick could give me a headache this big!

Caboose: I should have known. She didn't like me. Girls... never... like me

Tucker: Caboose, I don't think anybody likes you.

Caboose: I like me...

Tucker: Right. You should blame God. First he makes hangovers, and now half shark/half women that won't even sleep with me. Thanks for nothing, God!

(sorry if this offends anyone)

Church: So how are you doing Caboose? Are you following any of this whatsoever?

Caboose: I think so... That guy Tex is really a robot... and you're his boyfriend. So that makes you... a gay robot.

Church: ...

Church: Yeah. That's right. I'm a gay robot.

Scorpion Tank: Firing main cannon.

Scorpion Tank: I'm scared Dave. Will I dream? Daisiiies... daiiiisiiiie...

Caboose: SHEILAAA! NO!!!!!!

Tucker: Wha- no! Sheila! Sheila... Wait, who's Sheila?

Caboose: Sheila's the lady in the tank... she was my friend.

Tucker: Oh dude! I knew you could pick up chicks in a tank.

Tucker: Freelancers are independants. They're not red or blue. They're just guns for hire who'll fight for whoever has the most money.

Caboose: Like a mercenary.

Tucker: Right. Or like your mom, when the rent's due.

Caboose: Oh that's funny.

Tucker: Yeah. You didn't think that was too obvious?

Caboose: No no. Not at all. It was good.

Church: Tucker, you remember that I told you I was stationed on Sidewinder before they transferred me here to Blood Gulch, right?

Tucker: No.

Caboose: Sidewinder...isn't that the ice planet? Cool! What was that like?

Church: Um...it was cold.

Caboose: That's it? Just cold?

Church: What do you want from me? A poem!? It's a planet made entirely out of ice. It's really, friggin', cold.

Church: Poor Jimmy was the last one to go. Tex walked up to him, pulled Jimmy's skull right out of his head, and beat him to death with it.

Tucker: Wait a second...how do you beat someone to death with their own skull? That doesn't seem physically possible!

Church: That's exactly what Jimmy kept screaming.

Simmons: Sir! You got shot in the head, so we gave you CPR and saved you sir!

Simmons: Seriously, why are we here? As far as I can tell, this is just a box-canyon in the middle of nowhere. No way in or out.

Grif: Mm-hmm.

Simmons: The only reason that we have a red base here is because they have a blue base over there, and the only reason they have a blue base over there is because we have a red base here.

Grif: Yeah. That's because we're fighting each other.

Simmons: But even if we were to pull out today, and they were to come take our base, they would have *two* bases in the middle of a box canyon. Whoop-dee-fuckin'-doo.