ScaryCheese

So during the barbeque one fine Saturday afternoon, DustinBarnard decides to make himself a grilled-cheese sandwich, using the cheese provided by Platt. He sticks some cheese on the grill, directly above some nice hot coals, and waits for a while. Nothing much happens, except for the underside and corners of the cheese turning slightly brown. Faced with this difficult-to-melt cheese, we performed some experiments:

Environment #1: grill surface. Cheese did not melt. Cheese turned slightly brown. No noticeable temperature increase on the side away from the flames.

Environment #2: coal surface. Cheese sat on the coals for several minutes with no visible reaction. Eventually cheese turned brown and hard. After about ten minutes, cheese was black and still not melted.

Environment #3: Rock with butane torch. Torch reaches average temperatures of 1500 degrees Fahrenheit (815 degrees Celcius). Cheese turned black where flame was applied; black marks did not transfer to the other side of the slice and temperature was not markedly affected except at the center of the flame application. Cheese did not melt.

For the last case, we also tested some "real" American cheese (as opposed to the "Platt" American cheese) and some unidentified cheese supplied by RyanRiegel. Both real cheeses acquired a sheen of fat immediately upon flame application; shortly thereafter the cheeses melted and bubbled slightly.

• I believe the cheese was Muenster. --MarshallPierce
• The cheese was Trader Joe's Celtic Cheddar. --RyanRiegel

In conclusion, don't eat Platt cheese. It's scary. Of course, we still haven't tested PushForCheese. But since it starts out as a fluid, we don't exactly have many options for control groups...