VrableBall

Sport that essentially consists of ShoweRing MichaelVrable. Originally proposed in an e-mail sent to EastDormSchmack by FroshCloneSuite.

The first VrableBall match was held at a FunBallParty (of sorts) fall semester 2002. It was won handily by the denizens of TimeSuck6 and the erstwhile FroshCloneSuite.

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As Vrable has now passed on, I'd like to volunteer to be his proxy, to allow the tradition of VrableBall to continue. --JonathanBeall

• Wouldn't that make it BeallBall? then? As in "Pull the other one, it's got bells on"?

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 We propose a new sport: sequential intramural Vrable showering, or
 "Vrable ball."  Different dorms from all 5 C's can take turns showering
 Vrable, going for the fastest time into the shower.  The definition of
 "shower" will be: Vrable must be forcibly placed in the shower, and he
 must be made (more) wet.  Teams will be made up of up to five people,
 with a timing reward for teams of fewer than five.  Each game will have
 an umpire, and will consist of four teams competing to shower Vrable in
 the fastest time.  The four teams will take turns showering Vrable, each
 in their respective round.  The umpire will supervise and time the
 teams.  Each team, in their respective turn, will stand in a circle of
 radius r meters around Vrable (Vrable being a point mass), r being the
 number of team members, in the middle of the East courtyard.  The umpire
 will wave a flag, as blowing a whistle would be a $50 fine, to set the
 team and Vrable going.  Both Vrable and the showering team will be
 confined to set boundaries, being the East dorm and its courtyard.  If
 Vrable exits the East courtyard area, the round will be stopped by the
 umpire, and the spectating crowd will commence to point and laugh at the
 showering team.  Everyone will go back to their beginning posts, and the
 round will begin again.  The team will have no penalty for Vrable
 exiting the set boundaries.  If a member of the team exits the set
 boundaries, the team will get a time penalty.  The umpire will monitor
 boundary crossings.  Scoring and timing penalties will be established at
 a later date, when further data have been empirically obtained. (i.e.,
 we've showered the heck out of him)

 Vrable may win this event by escaping the shower in a given team's
 round.  He may do this by either locking himself in the bathroom, or
 escaping the shower in a set amount of time.  This time limit will be
 established when the further data have been obtained.  Vrable's reward
 for escaping showering will be a shower from the Easties.
 Submitted for the approval of East Dorm by the Four Frosh Clone Girls in
 the Boiler Suite,
 Lizzie, Lori, Julie, and Katy

 Dorm President's Seal of Approval:
 wussy

 Sarcastic Comments Provided by:
 Dan (does he exist?)
 Evil Southie (cheese)

 Homework:
 1) Is Vrable ideal?  Prove your response.
 2) Construct a free body diagram of Vrable at the beginning, midpoint,
 and end of the showering.  Assume     conservation of Vrable.  Beware of
 loss of energy.
 3) Propose new rules for "Vrable Ball," and submit them to Schmack for
 approval.
 4) Your mom(s).
 5) Collect them all.

 Extra Credit:
 1)  See Homework #2.  Differentiate and solve.