The moral of the story is don't buy like a metric fuckton of corn. Or, lyrically:
'Twas the night before biostats, not a weevil in sight
But the corn in edc was a weevil’s delight! Twenty-four bags of it in the east dorm, Each of which held fifty pounds of corn.
Loctor Pilo was about to curl up in bed Plots from bio homework dancing in their head; But the weevil infestation wasn’t unforseen East had had a rat in their vending machine Kavi hadn’t heeded all the edc’s warning And now Lilo had bugs in their room at 1 in the morning.
To move stuff out of their room, Lilo went upstairs But in upper edc -- there were more weevils there.
The corn in the closet had started to mold, And the weevils fled upstairs from the rain and the cold, Their population had grown with a great acceleration T(n+1)=2T(n) was the recurrence relation, Mentor Kayla had seen a couple a few weeks before But now the weevils covered the edc's floor.
F&M came to help clean the next day, They threw thousands of pounds of moldy corn away. We're grateful that F&M helped us dispose of it But we should have done so months earlier in west's fire pit.
After all of this I think we can agree The edcs shouldn't store edc in edc! Loctor Pilo hardly got any sleep that night Because the weevils had given them such a fright.
Loctor Pilo was so thoroughly distressed The bugs and moldy corn were a terrible mess. We offered to pay for cleanup with east dorm funds But nothing could repair the harm that was done.
Now whose fault was this? We know it was Kavi Who had bought all the corn with east dorm's money. As Loctor Pilo swept dead weevils into their dustpan They gave thanks to Kavi -- also known as Corn Man. On the wall of the lounge there's a picture of him But with pieces of corn replacing his limbs.
The baby corn for his limbs is disturbingly floppy (And yes, I am aware that would make a great copy.) He was dubbed Corn Man after eating corn out of a sink But it's really the picture of him that makes you stop and think.
As a mermaid is half human half fish, Kavi the corn man is half corn dish His love of corn is nothing short of obsession But that still leaves us asking the question:
Who thought putting corn in edc could have turned out well? For a few days, Lilo's life was like hell. But when they told us this story, we couldn't help but laugh And now I'm telling it to you, on Lilo's behalf.
It's much less fun to debug the edc than code Especially since Lilo already had a huge homework load. They hadn't done any work since going to their room at 8 Which meant they turned in their bio pset late. We tell this story as part of muddlore, Because if you find your room full of weevils -- that's what late hours are for.
And to all mudd students, in east or any dorm:
Don't spend hundreds of dollars of dorm funds on corn.
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