TheIneptMage

EvilSouthie is running a FairyTale role-playing/group writing game. As part of this, there is an inept mage. Every once in a while, when he tries to cast a spell, some other effect happens that he wasn't trying for. Given that I don't want to have to hunt down the chaos mage tables and roll on them whenever this happens, I thought it might be interesting to have those people who read Wiki to come up with appropriate suggestions and possibly vote on them.

So, add your suggestions here:

• it begins to rain cream cheese and jelly sandwiches
• Some random object in the vicinity turns into a brand-new Dell PC. Since this is a fantasy world, nobody will know what to do with a brand-new Dell PC.
• Some random object in the vicinity turns into a second-hand Dell PC. Since this is a fantasy world, everybody will know what to do with a second-hand Dell PC.
• The mage shrinks to one foot tall.
• The mage trips and lands in a bucket of water. (The bucket of water need not have been around before the spell was cast.) At your discretion, the mage may then melt.
• The mage is stricken completely colorblind. If anyone else is around, everything in a ten-foot radius of the mage turns green.
• Bad jokes start being acted out by random characters that show up - for example, 3 rabbis and a llama keep walking into a bar (the metal type) over and over, etc...
• the mage is forced to say "Grow, little plants, grow" before taking any action whenever s/he sees any dirt
• The mage accidentally casts Magic Mistletoe, causing the nearest two characters to embrace and kiss.
• The mage will cause two characters to "swap bodies" (as in, the players playing them switch places).
• The mage will conjure up a fearsome cartoon beast.
• A pie will fly out of nowhere at hit someone in the face.
• The mage will cause the entire party to talk like Furbies (ask AlexBobbs or DanielLowd for a demonstration).
• pi will fly out of nowhere and hit someone in the face
• it will begin to snow either near the mage or somewhere else
  • it will begin to snow in Claremont
• A hundred foot tall tree will grow where there wasn't one before
• Someone's luggage (or backpack/carrycase/etc.) somewhere upon being opened will be found to be filled with cheese (location of original contents to be announced)
• A stone will self destruct in a violent and showey explosion
• A talking character's speach will come out of the mouth of a non talking character who may or may not even be present in the same scene.
• Gravity will be reversed within a specified building
• a nearby tree will become invisible & haphazardly mobile
• Shooting stars will form a random message in the sky which is visible to all players
• the wizard will catch a cold
  • and sneeze butterflies
• the nearest entity turns into a tiger, but turns back upon drinking anything
• The nearest prince suddenly becomes gay
• Every person in line-of-sight is instantly flat on their back, for no apparent reason
• A musical number will begin that will in no way advances the plot. Dance number optional.
• Either Poly, Pyro, or Meteo, from the SFX in FF9
• A voice booms out: "Nothing. You have to read it."
• A voice booms out: "I believe it not!"
• Something nearby catches on fire.
• A dragonfly lands on the mage's hat.
• The mage suddenly speaks only in French for a (mercifully?) brief interval
• Sparks explode, the sky flashes green then gold then silver, buildings jump two feet in the air and return to their places, plants dance jigs for half a second, the sun is eclipsed, and absolutely nothing happens
• Everywhere green and blue switch places
• a box appears of yet to be clarified characteristics
• somewhere some chinese takeout food appears for no apparent reason
• the mage sinks half a foot into the ground
• the mage, forevermore, will taste like octopus when eaten
• Wherever he is, Cal dies.