TheSun

"The sun is a mass of incandescent gas / A gigantic nuclear furnace / Where hydrogen is built into helium / At a temperature of millions of degrees." -- an old educational record, popularly covered by TheyMightBeGiants

Alternatively: The Sun is a mass of processors and cache / ...

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A small, bright object in the sky, and lighting for the BigRoom. Obviously designed by an engineer with no thought to the practical aspects of driving in rush hour traffic with TheSun blazing in through the windshield. Generally, the wattage is too high.

No it's not, the wattage is way too low! It's below freezing on average here in RochesterNY? from about November until March! --PomonaSteve

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 Extra Special Letter Bomb to Whomever Invented Dawn
 "AAUUGGHH!! Photons!! The Sun is Way too Loud Today."

--from UndocumentedFeatures

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Also a British tabloid newspaper owned by Rupert Murdoch, and famous for Page 2.

• Actually, [page 3] is quite a bit better.