"#REDIRECT BridgetLewis"
Short & Sweet (May 2005 onwards): Graduated May 2005. Math Major. Email: klewis@cs.hmc.edu.
...While many events in the illustrious Ms. Lewis' personal history-- a past which has long since transcended the merely checkered and achieved the postively backgammonned-- are the stuff of household knowledge (in households populated by high-ranking intelligence officers with lurid tastes in historical anecdotery)-- indeed, of song and story (for those who can reach a high F sharp and appreciate the nuances of an epic catalog of cereals in Middle High German)-- the precise details of her birth and childhood have disappeared into the mists of time or-- who are we kidding?-- fallen victim to an expansive and relentless campaign of obfuscation, masterfully orchestrated to increase the rate of paranoia, schizophrenia and acute retirement in the historical community. One school of thought places her origins in the small Russian village of Preobrazhenskoe in 1805, whence she emerged as a preeminent logician in about 1821; she accepted a St. Petersburg professorship in 1823 and held it until fleeing the country in the aftermath of the failed Decembrist revolution against Nicholas I in 1825. Travelling to the New World, after an accidental detour to Thailand caused by a misread itinerary, she joined an ecclectic and generally disreputable band of adventurers travelling Paraguay in search of the Fountain of Youth, which she located and drank from in 1827 in an attempt to disprove its existence.

A more plausible opinion would have it that she is, in fact, a cat, who took on human form in trade for literacy; cited in support of this thesis are her fondnesses for milk, the company of cats, and curling into a ball in the vicinity of blankets. At last count, over a half-dozen religions and traditions claimed knowledge of the deities, mortals and magicians implicated in the transaction and of the locale, typically mountainous, forested and snowy, where it took place; the accounts setting the story in Ireland are by far the most credible. (What errands she undertook in the bargain, she is not known ever to have said. The reader would be well advised to worry. The author, for his part, will cower in fear.) While perhaps fanciful, the tale has an integrity to it absent from the oddly persistent suggestion that she was born in the Pacific Northwest late in 1982, a bit of frivolity generally attributed to sleep deprivation.

Constraints of space forbid the detailed comparison here of the competing theories' diverse explanations of BridgetLewis; the reader is directed to any of the review articles in the recent literature.

Whatever the case may have been, KatieLewis descended upon the campus of HarveyMuddCollege in the fall of 2001, armed with, inter alia, an omnipresent, efficient and often-vacationing globe-spanning network of spies and informants, a small yet formidable collection of books (see, eg, KLGoodBooks,) lethal proficiency with a pillow, passionate curiousity about next to everything, and a definite way with arguments. Managing somehow to smuggle all this onto campus without violating any sort of weapons policy, she enrolled as a frosh and in short order became not merely an EastiePerson but the fifth denizen of FroshCloneSuite. From these not so humble beginnings she followed a path of intrigue and sleep deprivation, treachery and mathematics, ItrGames and drama, HumPapers and MuddHole pizza, to finally become--yes-- a SophoMore. In the course of all this, she invented two chess variants (see TwisterChess), though a nonplayer of NormalChess?, and, to her considerable chagrin, originated the CompleteWorksofShakespeareAThon?. A number of classes were involved, too. An adherent to the doctrine that divisions among departments are a ModernMyth, she took among her courses spring 2003 RealAnalysis, GroupTheoryQuantumChemistryAndSpectroscopy and Algorithms; but was nonetheless forced under duress to finally declare herself a MathMajor.

It was in part that decision which led her to her prominent role in the coup of October 2004, in which ProfessorBenjamin was appointed college president, ProfessorVanHecke named chairman of the BoardOfTrustees?, ProfessorLevin hired to head the JointDepartment?, ShamikMaitra placed in charge of campus security, SpragueLibrary? reopened and the entire college temporarily relocated to rural Wyoming, all in the wake of the now legendary Lewis-Liao-Raugh-Van Hecke debate. Unfortunately her post-graduation plans were slightly complicated by her grand jury indictment in May 2005 on 247 counts of abuse of FunWiki's 'MinorEdit' function; she narrowly escaped to the Spanish countryside, where she peacefully passes the time until the statute of limitations expires, reading, hiking, and publishing papers in the American Mathematical Monthly...

Roomates: EmilyRoss? & SeleneTan :)
 SeleneTan: "How many do I have?"
 KatieLewis: "What's your name?"

"I just feel like calling something evil." -KatieLewis

At this particular moment I am [was] at a cousin's house - amused at how their computer supposedly dislikes hotmail, and somewhat reluctant to download a student version of ssh on computers not in my control. Aparently I visited top of the rock section of mt. st. Helens (that is to say not the top, and you'll know what I mean if you've ever been there) - was very rainy, cold, misty, & windy. all soaked. my sister wore pjs w/ shorts over them and gaiters because the ground of the tent was soaked taking her long pants with it. however, I am glad I went (the singing, I think), though gladder still to be dry, clean, and warm. Salutations, to whoever reads this, as I feel like writing someone.


You can use [MindTerm] SSH, you don't really download anything for it.

Thank you! (Selene, they have the craziest cat here) BridgetLewis: "it's not that crazy. it's usually quite sweet. it's just when it's in its devil-cat mode that it's evil. Of course, that kind of goes w/o saying (devil=evil) ^.^;;"

BridgetLewis: uh... does anyone speak Katie-ese?

A:"It's a hard question."
B:"Sometimes if you soak things in water it softens them."

"Like lemmings. They run off cliffs reading Kant."

It is 5:30 in the morning. the world is asleep but I am not. Two hours until they serve breakfast. --10/10/03

Tired. so tired suddenly. this afternoon. perhaps it will pass. it must. I fly to Portland tomorrow afternoon, but I will be back Monday evening. I will see my sister. --10/16/03. 5:53pm.

It's so quiet. I wish I could have company, but I don't know that I could work and I must work. --7:20am 9/12/2004

"How did you get a single as a freshman?"
"I'm not a freshman." --K (senior year) 4:12pm, 4/7/2005

Short & Sweet (Spring 2004): Junior. East159. SeleneTan. Busy: M-F 1-4, M 7-10pm, F am, TW 4-6. BridgetLewis.
Short & Sweet (2005): Senior. 2nd floor back hall single; Third door from the stairs; EastieMap. Math major. Please drop by.
As of this writing (September 2006), currently living in Kirkland, WA and working at a startup company. If you are in the Seattle area, look me up. Email address at top of page.

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Last edited September 17, 2006 19:53 (diff)