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Removed: 3,4d2
Patrick was and always will be a Sontag frosh, and a barbecue bitch, which he was but will not always be, and in fact no longer is. He is also no longer a barbecue baron. In his free time, he likes to masturbate horses. He gets paid. It's good money, if a bit of a strain on the wrists. Those horses don't masturbate themselves, you know. Has to do with the hoofs, as it turns out. Awkward business. We try not to talk about it.

Patrick is a math major. Don't let the registrar tell you different.

Often seen staying up late in the lounge awkwardificating with certain peoples. His nose function starts the penis game. He has yet to lose.

Stanislaw Lem is a god of literature. That is all.

He's gonna make you an offer you can't refurbish.

Was a ProctorOfVice for 2012-2013.

Has PatriNumber and WhedonNumber 6.

Know, lest due warning be denied by thee,
An thief thou come male whore shalt surely flee.

Legend has it that if you say SlapCup? in the lounge three times, Patrick will be summoned to EastDorm.


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Last edited March 19, 2020 23:38 (diff)