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You know who you are. You know what you doing. Take off every zig.

Popular weekend night activity in which many of the CrackWhores in East take over Academic Computing for some very non-academic computing. Popular favorites recently have included CounterStrike and NaturalSelection, ZombiePanic?, and Dystopia.

Super-sized editions include Spring Break's 24HourCrack and Fall Break's ExtendedCrack.

List of Active Cracks:

Come find out why Little Tiffany deserved to die.

During the 2006 - 2007 academic year, there has been a resurgence of alternate Cracks, including StarCrack, WarCrack, and QuAck, which occur Saturday/Friday? nights, respectively.

Late-Night Quotes (common and specific):

 "Yes! Bonesaw kill on the sniper!" --SkyeBerghel, after her first (and probably last) epic win on TF2

 "Pay no attention to the medic behind the heavy. He is of no importance."

 "Berler, stop whoring achievements" -anytime TF2 gets played

 "Berler, stop whoring xp" -anytime ET gets played

 "my pants may or may not be forfeit" -often in ET


 "Okay, so go on three. One...two...Don't go!!!!" -ChrisFerguson

 "Where are our jackers?  Go jack!" -spellman23

 "BEER SHIP" -DotA? with Pirate

 "That is totally the real Phantom Lancer"

 "Why is there an Engineer attacking?" -spellman23
 "What else is he supposed to do?"
 "Not be an engineer" -spellman23

 "Party in the Intel room" -qxc?

 "I don't wanna play another 83 minute game" -MarcDavidson
 "I wanna play a 90 minute game!" -LaserGhost?

 "So, when I use the binoculars, you'll get a nice reticle to shoot with the mortar" -Metathulu
 "Ok" -Canon
 "3...2...now" -Metathulu
 Metathulu is hit by a Panzerfaust
 "So, looking through binoculars at a growing orange thing isn't a good idea" -Metathulu

 "I killed them!  And they didn't set mines!  Go! There are no mines!" -spellman23
 the squad dies to mines
 "Fuuuuck" -spellman23

 "Ok, now with 90% less fail" -Kwang

Left4Dead? Versus. Cheezy and Kwang are trying to speed run past the infected. Cheezy is low on health.

 "I won't let them have you!" -Cheezy52?
 Cheezy sets Kwang on fire with a molotov
 "Burn the village to save the village!" -Kwang

Left4Dead? Versus. Toli sees LordTerminus? as a Hunter running around a corner. He separates from the group, and runs after him. LordTerminus? pounces him and incapacitates him.

 "That is NOT called staying with the team"
 "But, I saw him sulking away, and I wanted to go kill him" -Toli

 "They're never take us alive!" -Cheezy just before he molotovs the entire Survivor team.

 "Ben, don't deny your teammates" -Kwang after Cheezy molotoved the entire survivor team in Left4Dead? Versus.

 "He's been playing too much DotA?" -Bishop
 "Nah, just too much Pudge Wars" -Cheezy

 "I can't.  There are zombies in the way" -Cheezy

We would never do that.


 "We are still awesome." -- Counter terrorists

 "Go!  Do the thing with the thing!" --Terrorists

 "Oh my god!  That's not my team!" --Last words of WillShipley, de_survivor

 "You might as well just knife the wall." --MarshallPierce
 "I can do that." --AlexBobbs

On an unfamiliar map (de_torn)...

 "[The bomb sites] are...artistic."--WillShipley
 "And by 'artistic', you mean 'stupid'."--DanCicio

Later, on the same map...

 "We've taken an 'interesting' route.  And by 'interesting', I mean 'dumb'."--WillShipley
 "I thought that was 'artistic'..."--JulieWortman

 "I shot you.  A Lot.  And then I died.  Life isn't fair."  --NunchuckFrosh (aka Cannon Fodder)

 "I have three words for you: 'neener', 'neener', annnnnnd...'neener'.  That is all." --CalPierog

 *MarshallPierce is crouching outside the garage attic grating on cs_militia*
 MarshallPierce:  Hey, Will.
 WillShipley:  Yeah.
 MarshallPierce:  Are you Spec'ing me?
 WillShipley:  Yeah.
 MarshallPierce:  Is this breakable?
 WillShipley:  Yeah.
 *MarshallPierce shoots the grating out and jumps through . . . into CalPierog's crosshairs.*
 WillShipley: . . . note you didn't ask if it was a good idea.

 *surviving players: WillShipley and ChrisWottawa vs JulieWortman on de_dust*
 WillShipley: Hey, Chris, there's the bomb: go get it.
 *The room of spectators snickers.*
 *Chris is sacrificed to the Ambush of JulieWortman; but as he perishes in a
  withering exposition of gunfire, WillShipley takes aim with the sniper rifle,
  fires . . . and misses!*
 WillShipley: Fuck me!
 ChrisWottawa: Yeah . . . fuck you!

 After sniping down the entire enemy team except JulieWortman in an uncharacteristic show of competence, AlexBobbs dies by falling off a cliff
 WillShipley: Alex, you're supposed to JUMP!
 AlexBobbs: Wait a minute... you can jump in this game?

 NunchuckFrosh splits up from the rest of his team and begins making his way through
 hallways.  A minute later the room fills with laughter, leaving him confused.
 NunchuckFrosh: What the heck?  *Checks team status..... his entire team is dead*
 NunchuckFrosh: WHAT DID YOU GUYS DO?!?!
 WillShipley: Hi Prions!

 At the end of a particular round, AndrewHunter and TrevinMurakami were left alive on the terrorist team against some people on the CT
 KwangKetcham (Dead): Hunter!  Kick ass!
 Kwang subsequently hears an AWP blast and sees on his screen UltimaRatioRegum? /==== spellman23
 The entire room then burst out laughing.  The terrorists lost the round.

 "OK, This round is a knife round"
 solsword: "I'm going to still use a gun"

 SkyeBerghel, with a sniper rifle: "You are no match for my power!"
 solsword sneaks behind Skye and knifes her to death
 SkyeBerghel: ...maybe not.

 StevenBerler: Can someone give me a hand?
 SkyeBerghel: In a bit, I have to knife this window.

 SkyeBerghel: Wait, I think I've figured out this game now!
 Skye then dies of a headshot.


 "Cal, get back in the damn chair!" --anyone and everyone
 * Best instance of this was when Adam, Prions, and Will ran into the marine base and slaughtered all the marines and IPs... only to all die at the same time when Cal jumped out of the chair

 "Orzo!  Orzo in the main base!"  --NickCarbone

 "Ono!  Oh no!  Ono!" --also NickCarbone

 "Why the hell am I holding a gun?!" --AlexBobbs
 "*munch munch munch urp*...*hysterical laughter*" --JulieWortman

 "Damn! The sentry turret stole my kill!" --AlexBobbs

 "Hello, Leporello.  Pleased to eat you." --WillShipley

 "Should I do anything besides stand here and be awesome?" --JulieWortman

 "They have a grenade launcher!"
 *munch munch munch urp*
 "They had a grenade launcher!"
 ". . . they still have a heavy machine gun."
 --Unattributed (someone help me out here!)
 * Most likely NunchuckFrosh I would think.
 ** Wouldn't surprise me

 "Come on you guys!  There's four of you; don't tell me you can't take care of one Gorge!" --CalPierog

 "Now the Gorge is just mocking me . . . " --ClayHambrick

 "The pinnacle of my success was the time I killed five Skulks: one with a machine gun, one with a pistol, and two with the knife . . . wait, that's four . . ." --MarshallPierce
 ... let's hope I never say anything this stupid again. I'm sure I will, but oh well. It's like missing that easy rail... you hate yourself afterwards. <homer> Doh! </homer>  --MarshallPierce

 "Prions, you are my sunshine"  --WillShipley

 "Prions, I love you.  Can I have your babies?" --Skyfall the Gorge

 "Everyone, go make Comp Core awesome!"  --NunchuckFrosh

 "Laaaame!" --ClayHambrick
 "Ph34r the l4m3!" --JulieWortman

 "All marines go Fade...now." --AlexBobbs

 "I wouldn't believe anything you said, even if you said, 'My Name is Alex'." --ClayHambrick
 "My name is not Alex" --AlexBobbs

 Prions takes way too long to dispose of four webbed Marines
 "Prions, why couldn't you eat those Marines??  They were webbed!" --Skyfall the Gorge
 "Sorry, I'm not used to my prey holding still" --NunchuckFrosh

 Knife the hive for the wiiiiin!!!  --MattWalsh

 x for the wiiiiin!!!  --MattWalsh, where x is any and all of about 50 different things

 BlitzKrieg? for the looooss!!!  --MattWalsh

 "Does it rhyme with.... shmoovement chamber?"

 "Katz, don't go that way or you will die a lot!!!"  --WillShipley

 Someone: "Comm, can I have some health and ammo?"
 MattWalsh: No!  Die!

 Comm, can I have a thing that starts with S.... and ends with Hotgun? --ColleenSullivan?
    No!  Die!

 A number of Someones: Onos!
     Crunch, slurp slurp slurp...
 Tythos: Mmm. Beefy.

   * And Selectrification.
   ** Or Selectrificoggeratimization.  But by that time, the skulk has eaten you.

 Matt the Comm, after a number of frustrations: Okay!!  My team, in the hive, with the siege!

 "Yes, the auto-concede variable was set too low."

 "Remeber, your lives are far less valuable than this rez... let it kill you, as long as it doesn't kill the rez." --ColleenSullivan?

 "Thankfully, we have infinite lives."
 - Anon.

 "Move as one, Marines!"
 "Move as Pi!"
 "Pi is 3.14 times better than 1"

 "Spot for siege as one!"

 "Get the IP!"
 "But I don't know what IP stands for..."
 "Kill the Internet Protocol!"

 "Prions, stop killing me"
 "Riiight, I am hunting around just for you"

 Cal has just set up a phase gate right inside our hive.
 spellman23 has become a fade just a little while ago, and stumbles upon the gate right before completion.
 It starts to work just as he kills the builders.
 Cal: "Everyone, through the gate, now."
 Spellman23: slash slash slash slash
 Cal: "Where'd everyone go?"

 "I pistol whipped the Onos/Hive?/Lurk?/3 skulks"
  -JoeFredBob, all on the night/morning of 10/29-10/30

 "AAAAAH!  That's a grenade!!!!!" --Prions the Lerk

 "I must knife the Onos" --the only person dumb enough to try (StumpyDumbassFrosh)

 "Um, why'd my screen go dark?"
 "It's a secret weapon employed by the Aliens where they cast Blind"

 "I am the Comm, you listen to me, I want you THERE!"
 StumpyDumbassFrosh (Onos): "Phase is down in base"

 "Ignore the Comm Chair, there's nothing biting your Comm Chair"

 "Lerks don't die."
 "I know, they just fade away." - Anon.

 "What's the plural of 'Onos'?" --unknown
 "For a while, I thought it was 'Oh shit!'"--IvanHernandez

 "Stop biting our chair!"
 "No! No! I will always bite the chair!"
 "You do realize every time I repair the chair, I get XP?"

 "I saw him over there, but then I died." --SkyeBerghel, every time she plays

 "Now I'm Onos Jesus" --BenFreeland

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